How Do You Wipe Your Ass?

[BlackCock85]

I saw this topic on another forum I'm a member of and I just had to post it here since it sparked 22pages of discussion over there...

STANDING or SITTING?

Please state if you do it standing, or sitting down also if you fold the tp or wad it... and maybe some of your points of view on the subject.

I'll start.......I never thought of this before seeing the thread in that forum and I guess I've been doing it wrong all these years as I stand and wad the tp. I guess it's time for change? I should add that I usually make sure I shit before showering so it's not really an issue....I don't think

 

[B_Hickboy]

*head explodes*

 

[BlackCock85]

*head explodes*

HAHAHAHA, I know.....quite the subject

 

[Gillette]

Can't wait to read the responses.

I dated a guy who used precisely three squares for clean up.
Three squares, every time. Now that's what I call anal.

I give the roll a yank then stop it once I have enough. I'm a wad girl.

 

[kamikazee_club]

Now that's what I call anal.

Was that an intentional pun....:biggrin1:

 

[No_Strings]

I stand and fold....

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

More often than now, I don't do it myself. Spladle takes care of it for me.

 

[Wrey]

More often than now, I don't do it myself. Spladle takes care of it for me.

Oh really? Holy Moly!

I sit, fold, and I wipe back to front.

This topic came up over drinks at the house once. I was the only 'back to front' boy in the room. Girls are as a rule, I believe, always front to back. Anyway, I was made to feel quite the odd man out for my 'back to front'-ness.

 

[BlackCock85]

Oh really? Holy Moly!

I sit, fold, and I wipe back to front.

This topic came up over drinks at the house once. I was the only 'back to front' boy in the room. Girls are as a rule, I believe, always front to back. Anyway, I was made to feel quite the odd man out for my 'back to front'-ness.

You must do it front to back!!!

 

[B_Hung Muscle]

You must do it front to back!!!

Wrey doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.

 

[BlackCock85]

Wrey doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do.

We'll see about that

 

[Ethyl]

I hope no one posts pics of themselves for an answer to this question.

 

[BlackCock85]

I hope no one posts pics of themselves for an answer to this question.

Oh You're just lovely! *pulls pants back up and puts camera away :redface: *

 

[Hatched69]

STANDING or SITTING?

Sitting, leaning to the side.

if you fold the tp or wad it... and maybe some of your points of view on the subject.

Neatly folded if possible, but wadded and used as the "dab gently" method if I've been farting flames or have eaten spicy foods. Either way, it gets "wiped out".:biggrin1:
(Spicy foods also lead to the evacuation of my house for at least an hour as the cloud disperses)

 

[crowdpleaser]

I use about a foot and a half folded but not neatly, then Ass in the air bending over and Back to Front (lets hear it for the back to fronters!!!). I do this about 3 times minimum as a rule, additional as nessecary.

I am curious if anyone uses moist towlettes, I don't but have heard many do as debated by the Howard Stern Show.

 

[LeeEJ]

I usually get it a couple times while sitting in order to knock off any malingering turd parts. About a foot of paper, triple-folded or so, then one wipe and drop it in; repeat a couple more times.

Then, wipe while standing, back-to-front. Unroll somewhere past an arm's length of paper, fold it in half, grab the joined ends and wipe with that part. Fold the fresh remaining paper over the used portion, then wipe again with the new surface. Fold again as needed or until I'm out of that chunk of paper, then start another stretch.

If I do the first wipe and nothing shows up, I wipe again to be sure that I didn't miss anything. If that also comes out clean, I'm very pleasantly surprised.

I can't believe I'm typing about how I wipe poop off of my ass. After looking at what I wrote, I think that I sound a little OCD about it (just a bit, though).

 

[LeeEJ]

Oh, almost forgot an old joke (about forty-odd years old, I'm sure) --

What do the Starship Enterprise and toilet paper have in common?

They both fly to Uranus and wipe out all the Klingons.

 

[Adrian69702006]

Mostly standing and mostly front to back.:smile:

 

[playainda336]

Hmmm...I use double ply tissue.

I fold the pieces along the creases (with about four pieces).

Then I wipe.

Fold in half.

Wipe again.

Fold in half.

Wipe again.

Drop in toilet.

We were poor and my mother told me to do it like that to conserve toilet tissue. Been doing it ever since. lol

 

[SpoiledPrincess]

I have an oompa loompa I found in my garden shed who wipes mine.