How to deal with penis envy (I’m jealous of my bf’s dick)

[LetsTalkAboutSize]

I’m super jealous of my boyfriends big dick. We’ve been together 2 months. He’s twice my size (volume-wise). He says he loves the size of my dick. To which I asked “ok so you wanna trade dicks then, if we magically could”. Of course his answer is no.

So yeah even if he likes my size on me, I’m angry that he wouldn’t want to have my dick size. I know that may seem strange. But I just feel like he has a big advantage over me. I mean we’re talking about dicks here…they’re important…literally the center of our physical sexuality and they go into our partners bodies

I’m just so angry and envious all the time over this. I hate him for being so much bigger and not knowing what it’s like to be dwarfed by the person you really like. I spend more time resenting him now than thinking sweet thoughts of him. Literally the last 2 weeks aside from work it’s what I think of the most. He knows I feel insecure and that I wish I were his size. He’s tired of me bringing the subject up.

So what should I do? It’s affecting my mood so much…I question if I want to live sometimes. I wonder what to say to him and what I should do on my end

 

[15153321]

I’m super jealous of my boyfriends big dick. We’ve been together 2 months. He’s twice my size (volume-wise). He says he loves the size of my dick. To which I asked “ok so you wanna trade dicks then, if we magically could”. Of course his answer is no.

So yeah even if he likes my size on me, I’m angry that he wouldn’t want to have my dick size. I know that may seem strange. But I just feel like he has a big advantage over me. I mean we’re talking about dicks here…they’re important…literally the center of our physical sexuality and they go into our partners bodies

I’m just so angry and envious all the time over this. I hate him for being so much bigger and not knowing what it’s like to be dwarfed by the person you really like. I spend more time resenting him now than thinking sweet thoughts of him. Literally the last 2 weeks aside from work it’s what I think of the most. He knows I feel insecure and that I wish I were his size. He’s tired of me bringing the subject up.

So what should I do? It’s affecting my mood so much…I question if I want to live sometimes. I wonder what to say to him and what I should do on my end

Tbh, this feels more like a you problem then him. I think you should ponder on how you see your boyfriend, it seems like you're seeing him as a potential threat (when you say that he has an "advantage" over you) when it comes to finding new sexual partners, which makes no sense cuz I'm assuming you guys are in a monogamous relationship. You gotta realize that regardless of your bf's dick size, at the end of the day, you're the one being fucked by it so you're also in an advantagous position. When it comes to body image issues, I'd suggest looking for professional help. I know there's still a big stigma around it but I think it would really help, it makes no sense for you to resent your bf on something he can't even control.

 

[LetsTalkAboutSize]

Tbh, this feels more like a you problem then him. I think you should ponder on how you see your boyfriend, it seems like you're seeing him as a potential threat (when you say that he has an "advantage" over you) when it comes to finding new sexual partners, which makes no sense cuz I'm assuming you guys are in a monogamous relationship. You gotta realize that regardless of your bf's dick size, at the end of the day, you're the one being fucked by it so you're also in an advantagous position. When it comes to body image issues, I'd suggest looking for professional help. I know there's still a big stigma around it but I think it would really help, it makes no sense for you to resent your bf on something he can't even control.

He’s asking me to be monogamous. I am currently solo polyamorous (meaning I’ve decided ahead of time i prefer multiple relationships). That’s because I want to be the big guy and small guy. When im bigger I generally top. When smaller I bottom. I know stereotypical right. But that’s the way im wired. I fear being even more resentful of him if this freedom is taken away.

Yes I need profsssional help on body image. In my mind im super hung, and when I touch my cock, don’t see “big cock” reactions, or don’t take two hands to stroke if…it just makes me sad and I think I can’t take this anymore. My body isn’t accurate

 

[winesthel945]

You have a lot of stuff going on here, most of which is very unhealthy and going to be counter productive to you finding happiness until you resolve it. You have to be in good working order, mentally and emotionally speaking, before you will be able to be a good partner for someone else. I would strongly urge you get some psychotherapy from a queer positive and poly positive therapist. See if there's an AASECT member in your area AASECT:: American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists |

 

[Brodie888]

I don't really get the anger. My partner is bigger and I love it because I am the one who gets to use it!

Most big guys are used to smaller because smaller is common.

If you hate him so much, you should give him to someone who would appreciate him.

 

[Hardfunlongrides]

Top him, get a realistic cock that matches his size or a sleave so you can give him what he gives you, but understand, this guy wants to be monogamous with you, you already satisfy him- you bringing this level of resentment and jealousy to the relationship is toxic for everyone involved and if you are unable to love him as he loves you apparently, then its time to separate. An open relationship with someone smaller seems to be your truth, not this bitter resentment.

 

[JPEightGP]

The volume differences dong to dong can be substantial for very little differences in length and girth. The Visualizer dot net website, when it still worked, showed this well.

So, guy with less volume, if your tool is average or better in length and girth, you have an enviable tool, and you're perfectly okay. Rather praise your partner's bigger dong, since you are, of course, the one he chose to share it with.

 

[Andrue]

It seems you're working pretty hard on destroying this 2-month young relationship of yours, over something neither of you has any control over: the size of your cocks.

So he has a big dick? Lucky you! You get to play with it.

Yours is not as big? Oh well, that's how the genetics lottery worked for you. Take it up with your parents then, THEY are the reason you're not hung like a horse. Don't shit on your BF who seems to like you.

His is not as big too when compared to someone with an even bigger dick. Weird how that works, right?

You need to get yourself into therapy. What you're doing here is damaging to you, likely going to destroy this 2-month-old relationship with a guy who actually likes you, and will probably carry on to the next dude you connect with as a potential boyfriend, all because you went in the direction of hate and jealousy based on having access to his big dick.

Get this looked after pronto so you can (maybe) save this current relationship and certainly before you get yourself into another one, singular or multi-partnered. The way you've described it here, the level of anger you've expressed, doesn't sound like something that can be fixed via a chat board but rather needs the intervention of a sex-positive therapist.

Do check with the AASECT that winesthel945 pointed to above before this relationship implodes if you at all want to keep it going. Although I guess purposefully blowing it up (a.k.a. sabotage) it would be a good way to no longer have these very detrimental views you're holding about your partner's larger appendage. But I would expect that the underlying issues could remain and just pop up in another fashion in a future relationship.

Get yourself off that road ASAP.

Your dude is a fucking angel if he's dealing with this mess of yours and is still willing to stick around. But don't expect him to put up with this much longer if you don't actively work on fixing yourself. 2 months is a very small investment, it isn't a lifetime building a home and relationship. He can dump you fast enough to get away from this shitshow without too much regret.

Hoping for the best for you.

 

[JPEightGP]

It seems you're working pretty hard on destroying this 2-month young relationship of yours, over something neither of you has any control over: the size of your cocks.

So he has a big dick? Lucky you! You get to play with it.

Yours is not as big? Oh well, that's how the genetics lottery worked for you. Take it up with your parents then, THEY are the reason you're not hung like a horse. Don't shit on your BF who seems to like you.

His is not as big too when compared to someone with an even bigger dick. Weird how that works, right?

You need to get yourself into therapy. What you're doing here is damaging to you, likely going to destroy this 2-month-old relationship with a guy who actually likes you, and will probably carry on to the next dude you connect with as a potential boyfriend, all because you went in the direction of hate and jealousy based on having access to his big dick.

Get this looked after pronto so you can (maybe) save this current relationship and certainly before you get yourself into another one, singular or multi-partnered. The way you've described it here, the level of anger you've expressed, doesn't sound like something that can be fixed via a chat board but rather needs the intervention of a sex-positive therapist.

Do check with the AASECT that winesthel945 pointed to above before this relationship implodes if you at all want to keep it going. Although I guess purposefully blowing it up (a.k.a. sabotage) it would be a good way to no longer have these very detrimental views you're holding about your partner's larger appendage. But I would expect that the underlying issues could remain and just pop up in another fashion in a future relationship.

Get yourself off that road ASAP.

Your dude is a fucking angel if he's dealing with this mess of yours and is still willing to stick around. But don't expect him to put up with this much longer if you don't actively work on fixing yourself. 2 months is a very small investment, it isn't a lifetime building a home and relationship. He can dump you fast enough to get away from this shitshow without too much regret.

Hoping for the best for you.

Amazing reply.

 

[LetsTalkAboutSize]

I don't really get the anger. My partner is bigger and I love it because I am the one who gets to use it!

Most big guys are used to smaller because smaller is common.

If you hate him so much, you should give him to someone who would appreciate him.

I’m angry because he’s reaped the rewards of being big his whole life. I want that pleasure more than almost anything. I don’t want to be average because it’s so meh to me. So forgetable

 

[LetsTalkAboutSize]

The volume differences dong to dong can be substantial for very little differences in length and girth. The Visualizer dot net website, when it still worked, showed this well.

So, guy with less volume, if your tool is average or better in length and girth, you have an enviable tool, and you're perfectly okay. Rather praise your partner's bigger dong, since you are, of course, the one he chose to share it with.

But then that just feeds into it. He gets praise for being big. That’s what I want. I don’t know why I’m so obsessed

 

[Brodie888]

I’m angry because he’s reaped the rewards of being big his whole life. I want that pleasure more than almost anything. I don’t want to be average because it’s so meh to me. So forgetable

There's always people who will be greater or lesser than you in life who don't deserve it.

To be angry about something you have no control over or ability to change, you probably should see a psychologist because you're going to have to learn to accept reality.

Probably best to break up with your partner too because every day will be a reminder and probably get in the way of you learning to love yourself.

 

[nhguy78]

I’m super jealous of my boyfriends big dick. We’ve been together 2 months. He’s twice my size (volume-wise). He says he loves the size of my dick. To which I asked “ok so you wanna trade dicks then, if we magically could”. Of course his answer is no.

So yeah even if he likes my size on me, I’m angry that he wouldn’t want to have my dick size. I know that may seem strange. But I just feel like he has a big advantage over me. I mean we’re talking about dicks here…they’re important…literally the center of our physical sexuality and they go into our partners bodies

I’m just so angry and envious all the time over this. I hate him for being so much bigger and not knowing what it’s like to be dwarfed by the person you really like. I spend more time resenting him now than thinking sweet thoughts of him. Literally the last 2 weeks aside from work it’s what I think of the most. He knows I feel insecure and that I wish I were his size. He’s tired of me bringing the subject up.

So what should I do? It’s affecting my mood so much…I question if I want to live sometimes. I wonder what to say to him and what I should do on my end

Let's get back to basics here. We don't have any context for your situation. Is he your top? Does he suck your dick? Does he enjoy your dick? Or.... (I've seen this sentiment here in some threads) does he treat you and your dick as if you're there as a willing hole for him and he says he likes your dick only because he doesn't touch it?

I'm guessing it's the former. He probably like you AND your dick. It's not his issue to deal with but if this relationship is going to work and you want it to, you need to communicate with him more securely. Ask him for what you want. (I have this issue, too. My husband is hung but not interested in my ass. So, I have to request what I want.) Do you want him to worship your cock as if it's as big as his? ASK HIM! That sort of play can be wonderful. Ask him to not compare cocks or do things that make you feel small. You'll need to figure out what that is. My husband brags about his big intact cock sometimes and I just brush it off. It's rude to me. At the same time, he loves to suck my dick and balls. Can you make that similar Win-Win?

Essentially, you gotta work on you. Communicate better perhaps.

 

[hrypol9130]

This is a YOU INSECURITY issue that YOU need to deal with.

What do you expect your boyfriend to say when you’d say “I’m jealous how big your dick is”…..we don’t live in the Sims where we get to create our own self how we want (but you never know in the future)

 

[bravesoldier]

I’m super jealous of my boyfriends big dick. We’ve been together 2 months. He’s twice my size (volume-wise). He says he loves the size of my dick. To which I asked “ok so you wanna trade dicks then, if we magically could”. Of course his answer is no.

So yeah even if he likes my size on me, I’m angry that he wouldn’t want to have my dick size. I know that may seem strange. But I just feel like he has a big advantage over me. I mean we’re talking about dicks here…they’re important…literally the center of our physical sexuality and they go into our partners bodies

I’m just so angry and envious all the time over this. I hate him for being so much bigger and not knowing what it’s like to be dwarfed by the person you really like. I spend more time resenting him now than thinking sweet thoughts of him. Literally the last 2 weeks aside from work it’s what I think of the most. He knows I feel insecure and that I wish I were his size. He’s tired of me bringing the subject up.

So what should I do? It’s affecting my mood so much…I question if I want to live sometimes. I wonder what to say to him and what I should do on my end

I responded to another thread of yours on this, but man realize YOU have allowed this to destroy you. You sound utterly consumed by it. Is that what you want to continue in? If not, get out of the relationship now. You said yourself you hated him for his size and that spells big trouble in my book. If you hate him, it's past time to go.

Best of luck friend.