Ignoring your gay side

22guy

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Does any one of you, bi guys, ever try or think about ignoring his gay side and live like a straight?

Would like to hear what you think!
 

frankli

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I'm in the same boat as Taigastar. but older. You are certainly not alone. I suppressed my desire for men for many years. In my late 30's and single again I decided to explore it, and it was a wonderful relief, and helped me understand whether I could ever have gay relationship. So now I am married in a monogamous relationship with a woman, and am suppressing it all again which is hard. This site and porn are a good outlet for those frustrations and yearnings. Anyway if you are young and single my advice is to explore it, and get to know yourself more fully.
 
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latinluva

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I ignore it most of the times, but on occassion I will get a lil fem and wear something that says totally gay. I love the attention from men and women. Most of it is pretty good. One day I'll be too old to be sexy like that. Then I'll ignore it full time :)
 

Phil Ayesho

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Does any one of you, bi guys, ever try or think about ignoring his gay side and live like a straight?

Would like to hear what you think!

I don't exactly ignore it. I sometimes indulge in gay porn and gay fantasies...
but I live a straight life with a woman and am very happy that way.


Its no different foregoing sex with Guys than it is to forego sex with other women. Fidelity is fidelity.

Luckily... I have a woman who is somewhat dominating...and likes to don a strap on and play Top. She talks dirty top... about making me suck other guys and such...

Its all just fantasy and sex play- she isn;t serious about a threesome... and neither am I... we have a great relationship that simply doesn't deed the drama and emotional complications of another person in it. We're both old enough to keep fantasy separate from reality.
 

pinokio

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Does any one of you, bi guys, ever try or think about ignoring his gay side and live like a straight?

Would like to hear what you think!


I was ignoring mine for some years but anyway, fantasies are fantasies, I always thought about men too. But when I tried to avoid that and concentrate on girls (sometimes it's just my mood, nothing bigger than that), I was losing my interest in guys and getting more from my hetero side of life.
Still, now I have too many lgbt friends and experiences to avoid this side of nature totally. I work as a model so it's really difficult to be hetero all the time in my everyday life :D
 

D_Sherman_Shuttlebottom

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Ignoring it fully (trying not to think about gay sex, even when masturbating) is sure to fail. I would say especially if you're single, now is EXACTLY the time to figure out a bit more about how your particular bisexuality works. Go really slow if you're new to it, but I think you'll feel once you've had some sexual contact with men, you will enjoy and feel more secure about being open about being bi. Because ultimately, coming out seems hard, but I need to tell you, it is SO much easier that being closeted. You don't need to inform every last distant relative and coworker that you're bi if you generally date women, but being open about it to your family, close friends, and partners can be really great and affirming. I came out as bi about 6 years ago, in my late 20s, and it went very well. I started feeling better about myself, have gotten into much better shape, and am a much more confident and happy person since I came out. I also have had a lot more satisfying sex since, with both hot guys and hot women.

If you're in a monogamous relationship with a woman you care about, which is why you want to "ignore" your gay side, you have a few options.

First, even if you're closeted, you can always enjoy it as a fantasy--everyone in a relationship, whatever their orientation, has fantasies that don't involve their partner. At least allow yourself to enjoy it that way. If you try to repress it, you will just add all this unnecessary guilt and shame that is really corrosive and toxic. At the very least become proud of being bi in your head!

Second, you can come out to your girlfriend and see what she says. In my experience, I have had a couple girls be fine from the start (and even say, "you know, you don't seem 100% straight, so this explains it...") And I had girlfriends react somewhat negatively at first, only to shift over time to be fine with it and even like it. My last girlfriend reacted horribly when I told her, but within a year, was so into it she was constantly mentioning the idea of an MMF threesome. My current girlfriend was a little wary when I first told her, but now says she finds it hot, just like the last one. And she has said if we end up getting married, she would not want me to repress that side of myself, and would rather being monogamish and let me have a hall pass for men, provided I find just one trusted partner at a time and am super safe. (Though honestly, I think I'd rather just have MMF threesomes with her.)

Look, repression is bad for your mental health. You may not want to ever be fully out as bi, which I can understand, especially if you never get emotionally involved with men and your straight side is fairly dominant. But at the very least, don't try to deny this part of you. Over time, that denial will really eat a hole in your psyche. Find someway to be "out," even if just to yourself, that is affirming, that there is nothing wrong or shameful and bad about being a man who love sex with both men and women.

I love being bi, and even if not everyone in the world accepts my sexuality, I at least wish all other bi men felt that way too.
 
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