im drunk.

Tired, naive, introspective, very frightened, inadequate, lonely, heartbroken, and desperate.

Yet I also feel that if this does not take me out entirely that I will be stronger.

How I wish this all had happened 20 years ago. So much time and youth wasted.
 
I'm very CONTENTED AND HAPPY! I'm at the house of my s/o. We had
a wonderful dinner followed by an evening of...........!
He is now sound asleep, but I'm wide awake.

He spent the entire afternoon cooking a wonderful dinner for us.
Appetizer:
Eggplant caponatina with crusty Italian bread sticks
Main course:
Broccoli rabe sauted with olive oil, garlic, onions, and anchovies and served over fettuccini.
Dessert: homemade zabaglione over raspberries and blueberries. (he excels at making zabaglione...ummmm good!)
A red wine from Australia.