Knocking down wall to have a good relationship

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by lafever, Jan 5, 2008.

  1. lafever

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    I`m not sure if this has been talked about, just putting my 2 cents worth here. When my wife and i got together it took a nuclear blast to knock down the walls that she had built over the years from scumbags.
    We faught like you wouldn`t believe, i shared some of this in an old post.
    I knew it was worth the fighting now that i look back, my heart kept telling me to break through the walls that she had built and not to give up on her.
    From day one i knew there was this awsome person just waiting to come out, i could sense in her behavior the charateristics of a person with alot of baggage.
    She had gotten to the point where she would get with men with the intention of it not working out, this is what she thought of me, boy was she wrong.
    I totally f****d her up with her opinion of men, she had become accustomed to getting what she wanted and then moving on.
    Her basis for this is that if you constantly move from one relationship to another than you cannot become attached and or have feelings for that person.
    In her mind if she fell for someone then she had become yet a fool again.
    Getting her to confide in me was no easy task, she did not like the idea of being vulnerable, she would have rather slit her own wrists.
    Yes, i still have holes in the walls to fix, i`ve placed pictures over them for now.
    She tried her best to run me off, anything but face those bones in the closet.
    She now admitts that and knows that i was always down with her, and how silly she was to deny her own happiness through rationalization and justification.
    Unfortunatly some here on lpsg hold our beginnings against her, and that i was a fool to break through to the other side.
    I say that you should be as lucky to find the love we have today.
    I am so happy that i could see through her rouge.
    If you`re with someone who is fighting you for reasons that they think you`ll never understand let them know that you don`t understand but you`d like too. This is what worked for our relationship and to anyone who`s ready to give up, know that you could be with the right one but are too stubborn to admitt it.
    All the best in your endeavors and or trial and tribulations, there are no acts of kindness that go unnoticed from the man upstairs so to speak.

    lafever:cool:
     
  2. Osiris

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    You have learned what a lot of us have and thanks for sharing some wise insight into the human heart and mind.
     
  3. Bbucko

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    You ought to expand this thought into a blog post, not that it's unwelcome here.
     
  4. lafever

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    Trial and error really, i just got tired of letting good woman get away because of their own insecurities.

    I really don`t know anything about them(blogs), what i do know is people, i`ve always been intrigued why people do the things they do and act the way they act.
    I`ve learned to express what`s going on with me so that my family and friends don`t have to guess.
    Getting others to do the same is like pulling teeth, most people that i`ve brokken into reveal to me afterwords that the real reason they didn`t want to open up is because they felt like it was too much to go through.
    I can totally relate because that`s the way i felt.
    I had this one friend tell me that coming back to reality was having to relive the past, i told them that if they were never in reality to begin with that really they`d be feeling things for the first time, this blowed their mind.
    I`ve found it to be true that if you surpress your feelings then you`re not giving yourself a chance to grow, how can you grow until you go through the feelings that are bothering you?
    Well the way i understand it is that you cant grow, what happens is that you become stuck in time.
    This helps to explain why so many get stuck in the same trend, i`ll give an example, do you currently know anyone with an 80`s hairstyle, it`s like they just can`t move on.
    I`ll give another example, people who party like they`re still in high school, they don`t seem to get it that the right of passage is gone, someone probably broke their heart so they`re stuck in time trying to relive the moment again and again only this time they`re the ones breaking hearts.
    The sad thing about this is that they`ll never feel gratified.
    I`ll get into this some more later.


    lafever:cool:
     
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