like being watch
- Thread starter hungmormon
- Start date
I'll add to the fucking cow story. When I was in a small country town's high school, I had a class mate who lived on a farm. His family's barn caught on fire once and after they got the fire extinguished and were trying to determine how the fire was started, they found a pair of Allie's boxer shorts in a stall with cow shit in the bottom keeping that part of the underwear from burning.
Have you thought ahead of the story? Maybe you're right. Allie fucked the cow, the cow shit in his shorts, so he caught the barn on fire when he tried to burn the shorts to destroy the evidence. True story.
Luke :angry:
Have you thought ahead of the story? Maybe you're right. Allie fucked the cow, the cow shit in his shorts, so he caught the barn on fire when he tried to burn the shorts to destroy the evidence. True story.
Luke :angry:
I've known two guys who've fucked sheep, and one who once fucked a pig. I could understand his fucking the pig after I met his girlfriend.
No No Jon!! It's in Wales that they fuck sheep! In Scotland they play with their sporrans. In England we just fuck ... it up! (Especially on the football (soccer) field ...cricket pitch ... the tennis courts!
Note to David Beckam - what kind of penalty do you call that!!!!!!!!
I did see a porn film once - shot somewhere in Africa - where a teenage boy fucked a cow. I've had nightmares over it ever since!
BRMSTN69: I must be naive because even here in the mid-west, I've heard jokes about it but never met anyone who would admitt to doing it
- jonb,
No No Jon!! It's in Wales that they fuck sheep! In Scotland they play with their sporrans. In England we just fuck ... it up! (Especially on the football (soccer) field ...cricket pitch ... the tennis courts!
Note to David Beckam - what kind of penalty do you call that!!!!!!!! [/b][/quote]
Yeah, but a Scotsman did clone a sheep.
Let's just say the pig weighed less, smelled better, and had smoother skin. And it's oinking and grunting couldn't be as annoying as her laugh. Why is it that so many really good-looking guys end up dating Jerry Springer material? There had to be a trailer park in that girl's past.
I have noticed that very often good-looking guys get hitched to less than average females in the looks department. Several come to mind now and I have usually thought, damn, it seems to me the dude could have his pick, so why did he select her? I wonder if the answer could be that he is so satisfied with his own looks, that he overlooks this physical deficiency and finds other reasons for matrimony. Maybe we can hear from one of our attractive guys who will enlighten us on this subject.
Tripod, I have been asked not to post in French without providing an English translation. Could you please do the same when posting in Welsh?
madame_zora
Sexy Member
Let's just say the pig weighed less, smelled better, and had smoother skin. And it's oinking and grunting couldn't be as annoying as her laugh. Why is it that so many really good-looking guys end up dating Jerry Springer material? There had to be a trailer park in that girl's past. [/b][/quote]
Absolutley hilarious!!! And funny you should ask that question about mismatched couples, because I often see the reverse as well- a bombshell of a girl with a fat, greasy, balding, toothless oaf, and I just quake in my shoes to think about it!
Back to the topic of being watched - I was watched yesterday evening - while I was ASLEEP!!
A good friend of my daughter's is staying here at the present time. Since moving to AZ she has been living in a 5th wheel travel trailer but has recently sold it and bought a house for herself, her husband and three daughters. Howver, she can't move into it until after some cleaning and remdeling. My daughter, with whom I live, is back in our home state divesting herself of some property holdings there so Pam is staying here for the time being.
On the evening of the 4th we were watching TV. I was lying on the sofa and she was sitting opposite in a recliner. It must have been a riveting show because I drowsed off for a half hour or so. Awakeniing, I announced, "I'm baaack!'
Pam is quite a joker and usually very talkative but she just gave a half-smile and nodded saying nothing. I thought she must be engrossed in whatever was on the telly but that turned out to be a rehash of the golf match.
The evening wore on - quietly - and finally I asked if she was not feeling well. She said that she felt fine but was struggling with a question that was stuck in her mind. When I suggested that enlisting my help might be an option, she wondered if I would be put off if she asked me a very personal thing. Having no notion where this was going, I let her know that she might ask me anything and I would give her an answer if I could - or NOT. She favored me with a small laugh and after some thought she said, "While you were sleeping I happened to notice that there was a sizable lump (LUMP???) in your pants. Was that you or something else - I decided that it couldn't be an item in your pocket because it was in the wrong place. That, and I couldn't imagine anything else that might have the unusal shape I was seeing."
To say I was caught off guard is an understatement of monumental proportion. At last I tentatively replied that since I had nothing in my pockets at all, I could only assume that she had seen what she thought she saw. Now she giggled and confided that for years she has been a crotch-watcher and having been in the health business (almost always in hospitals) she has had ample opportunity to sneak peeks at perhaps a thousand or more raw peters always specifically looking for big ones. The record holder, she said, was a seven inch job that she had been able to certify.
Suspecting where this was leading, I asked, "So what does all that have to do with me taking a nap?"
"Well," she said, "trusting my praticed eye, I think I was looking at a softie that is as big as my record one was totally erect."
"AND???" I questioned feeling that I already knew where we were going.
"You know" she grinned, "I just want to see it - - - for the record."
Well, after a bit more banter and kidding around she started to undo my belt at which I gave up and agreed to her request by unzipp;ing and pulling down my pants and shorts. She unfastened the lower buttons on my shirt and pushed it back to afford herself an unobstructed view. She nodded her head and gave a professionally sounding, "Hmmm." Then she asked if I could make it hard. I told her that I certainly could BUT that she could probably accomplish it faster and that she had my perrmission to do so. She studied for moment (during which time I was already starting to swell) and then taking it in both hands she began to pull and stroke pausing to admire how the head was expanding and to comment on the fact that my balls hung down longer than her 7" friend's dick. In micro seconds I had a throbber. She produced a little pocket tape and took my measure pronouncing me as her new record sighting by two full inches and that my girth equaled the previous guy's length. She continued then to sqeeze, pull and stroke as she asked, "Do you still shoot?" I answered, "You keep doing what you're doing and you'll find out!!" At that she snatched a kleenex from a box on the coffee table and I might add, just in time as I started to cum. I think that I was more surprised than she was because I totally saturated that Kleenex and a bit more.
Nothing else occured. As I said before she is a very good friend of my daughter plus the fact that she is only 36 (compared to my 85 years) and having no form of protection, the mere possibility of impregnation - - - well you get the implication.
She's at work at a local hospital today so I haven't seen her since last night. I don't know if anything will follow from that experience but the remembrance is very pleasant.
Gramps
A good friend of my daughter's is staying here at the present time. Since moving to AZ she has been living in a 5th wheel travel trailer but has recently sold it and bought a house for herself, her husband and three daughters. Howver, she can't move into it until after some cleaning and remdeling. My daughter, with whom I live, is back in our home state divesting herself of some property holdings there so Pam is staying here for the time being.
On the evening of the 4th we were watching TV. I was lying on the sofa and she was sitting opposite in a recliner. It must have been a riveting show because I drowsed off for a half hour or so. Awakeniing, I announced, "I'm baaack!'
Pam is quite a joker and usually very talkative but she just gave a half-smile and nodded saying nothing. I thought she must be engrossed in whatever was on the telly but that turned out to be a rehash of the golf match.
The evening wore on - quietly - and finally I asked if she was not feeling well. She said that she felt fine but was struggling with a question that was stuck in her mind. When I suggested that enlisting my help might be an option, she wondered if I would be put off if she asked me a very personal thing. Having no notion where this was going, I let her know that she might ask me anything and I would give her an answer if I could - or NOT. She favored me with a small laugh and after some thought she said, "While you were sleeping I happened to notice that there was a sizable lump (LUMP???) in your pants. Was that you or something else - I decided that it couldn't be an item in your pocket because it was in the wrong place. That, and I couldn't imagine anything else that might have the unusal shape I was seeing."
To say I was caught off guard is an understatement of monumental proportion. At last I tentatively replied that since I had nothing in my pockets at all, I could only assume that she had seen what she thought she saw. Now she giggled and confided that for years she has been a crotch-watcher and having been in the health business (almost always in hospitals) she has had ample opportunity to sneak peeks at perhaps a thousand or more raw peters always specifically looking for big ones. The record holder, she said, was a seven inch job that she had been able to certify.
Suspecting where this was leading, I asked, "So what does all that have to do with me taking a nap?"
"Well," she said, "trusting my praticed eye, I think I was looking at a softie that is as big as my record one was totally erect."
"AND???" I questioned feeling that I already knew where we were going.
"You know" she grinned, "I just want to see it - - - for the record."
Well, after a bit more banter and kidding around she started to undo my belt at which I gave up and agreed to her request by unzipp;ing and pulling down my pants and shorts. She unfastened the lower buttons on my shirt and pushed it back to afford herself an unobstructed view. She nodded her head and gave a professionally sounding, "Hmmm." Then she asked if I could make it hard. I told her that I certainly could BUT that she could probably accomplish it faster and that she had my perrmission to do so. She studied for moment (during which time I was already starting to swell) and then taking it in both hands she began to pull and stroke pausing to admire how the head was expanding and to comment on the fact that my balls hung down longer than her 7" friend's dick. In micro seconds I had a throbber. She produced a little pocket tape and took my measure pronouncing me as her new record sighting by two full inches and that my girth equaled the previous guy's length. She continued then to sqeeze, pull and stroke as she asked, "Do you still shoot?" I answered, "You keep doing what you're doing and you'll find out!!" At that she snatched a kleenex from a box on the coffee table and I might add, just in time as I started to cum. I think that I was more surprised than she was because I totally saturated that Kleenex and a bit more.
Nothing else occured. As I said before she is a very good friend of my daughter plus the fact that she is only 36 (compared to my 85 years) and having no form of protection, the mere possibility of impregnation - - - well you get the implication.
She's at work at a local hospital today so I haven't seen her since last night. I don't know if anything will follow from that experience but the remembrance is very pleasant.
Gramps
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