Men, sex and menopause
- Thread starter erpap
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I am not close to be in that situation, so I don't know how it is in reality.
To my understanding, women after menopause still can mantain the same interest, but I never dig into that topic.
If my wife would not want to have sex anymore, 100% sure that I won't have sex with anyone else without her consent, and 90% I won't do it even with her consent
To my understanding, women after menopause still can mantain the same interest, but I never dig into that topic.
If my wife would not want to have sex anymore, 100% sure that I won't have sex with anyone else without her consent, and 90% I won't do it even with her consent
My wife has been post-menopausal for twenty years now and it has not changed our sex life or how much she wants it, so not sure where you're getting your information or assumption from that women automatically lose interest in sex when they stop menstruating. If anything, we likely had more sex after she went through the change since we could then do it at any time of the month and there was zero percent chance of pregnancy.
But to answer the question...no. Even if she lost interest or could no longer have sex for some other reason, I still would not betray both our marriage and her trust in me and look elsewhere.
It might interest you to know that men can go through a mid-life change as well that could affect their libido, so would that be ok for a guy's wife to cheat on him because he no longer was in the mood? There is more to a long-term, committed relationship than sex and not getting any at home is no excuse to cheat.
But to answer the question...no. Even if she lost interest or could no longer have sex for some other reason, I still would not betray both our marriage and her trust in me and look elsewhere.
It might interest you to know that men can go through a mid-life change as well that could affect their libido, so would that be ok for a guy's wife to cheat on him because he no longer was in the mood? There is more to a long-term, committed relationship than sex and not getting any at home is no excuse to cheat.
cofrader
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Are you Prince Charming rescuing poor straight from the evil woman who dared to age? Would you lend your helping hand?
First if I ware on that position is none of your business is an internal thing of the couple. Second don’t fix what isn’t broken, I see ancient couples and you can tell by their smile they are fucking.
Third, we can have adropause goto first.
Well it would really depend on how close the relationship was. I have seen a lot of women who embrace menopause and others who weaponize it.
I have read many stories that deal with each of those situations. I must be a difficult and frustrating situation.
I can imagine that it will be even worse for her. How would it be to feel guilty of your couple cheating on you because you are too old.
It seems to be that this is not the solution, but what do I know?
Frustrating for both people! Tough situation. I know a guy who he lets guys blow him because his wife is not interested in sex any more. More issues there than just menopause. I feel for both parties.
cofrader
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Sorry I judged you wrong, you actually provided an unorthodox and technically straight option, thanks for sharing your wisdom please don’t enlight us with your experience about it.
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No. Not unless she gave me permission, which has a 0.0000000000000000001% chance of happening.
Would I look for sex elsewhere? No, because I've been married for nearly 45 years and have never cheated. Would I think about it? Yes.
My wife's desire for sex has definitely fallen post-menopause. When we do have sex, she seems to really enjoy it and I ALWAYS make sure she orgasms or seems pretty satisfied is she doesn't want to orgasm.
When we have PIV sex, she insists that I cum inside her. And, when she's not in the mood for penetration, she's very generous with oral sex and handjobs to ensure that I get some relief.
My wife's desire for sex has definitely fallen post-menopause. When we do have sex, she seems to really enjoy it and I ALWAYS make sure she orgasms or seems pretty satisfied is she doesn't want to orgasm.
When we have PIV sex, she insists that I cum inside her. And, when she's not in the mood for penetration, she's very generous with oral sex and handjobs to ensure that I get some relief.
When my wife went through it the worst part were the hot flashes. We would be in bed asleep and all of a sudden the covers would come flying off and then her clothes. Heavy breathing and her body would turn into a pinkish red. You could feel the heat coming off her. Then about two minutes later she would reach for the blankets and complain she was freezing. Weird stuff for sure. As far as sexual desire? No big drop off. I think our age has more to do with any slow down than anything else.
I think it depends on how she expresses that disinterest. Not dissimilar than if I decided I was no longer interested in being primary breadwinner, or unable to be, hopefully I'm making the space, empowering her to then be the provider. As such I would hope this disinterest in sex was a gradual thing and an ongoing discussion about the needs within our relationship and how they can be fulfilled in a way that is a compromise and amicable to us both. My wife would have to have neglected the conversation and made no efforts to address the issue for a prolonged period of time before looking elsewhere was even a notion, and even then I'd at least be upfront with my intentions before the fact.
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It been at least 8 years and I have not. Over that time it slowly died with one weird week in there but the past 5 years it’s been non existent.
It’s more painful to my emotional side in that I feel she has slowly slipped away but then I realize I’m being a self centered heartless dick. She’s feeling misery and I worry about me. What a fuck.
Many many couples face this and some do so together. Good luck and I hope you find compassion and humanity in your search.
It’s more painful to my emotional side in that I feel she has slowly slipped away but then I realize I’m being a self centered heartless dick. She’s feeling misery and I worry about me. What a fuck.
Many many couples face this and some do so together. Good luck and I hope you find compassion and humanity in your search.
I am sympathetic to all couples going thru this. There is emotional love which shouldn't wane and physical love which can and does. Emotional love developes over time. It's in your heart. My issue is when one or both weaponize a natural phase we all go.thru. Plus there are many things that can be done to minimize the effects of the changes in the human body. Both male and female. So long as the couple can work toward a common goal that's all .you can ask for.
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