Some of you have been rather diligent at reading and responding to my posts ... most of which have been me trying to figure out how to find myself a wife and my problems with obtaining women in the past. Well as odd as it may sound i actually started looking into "dating guru" type people to see if any of their information could help my situation. Boy did it ever! I've been watching DVD seminars with this fellow by the name of David DeAngelo and while i was EXTRAORDINARILY skeptical and even angered by his advertising ... I'm finding his information very easy to digest and much less abrasive than his advertising made it look. (Honestly i think his advertising is formulated to make you so angry that you just have to buy into his seminars and see what he's about.) Originally i didn't want to listen to his advice because i thought that it would somehow give me advice that would cause me to act in a way that was not consistent with my values ... by somehow manipulating a situation with a woman to get her to feel attracted to me ... and i felt that sort of attention would be false and only lead to poor relationships. But what i came to realize is that the information given in these seminars only covers the laws of attraction and how to take what i already have and extend that to give me more opportunity with more women ... what i do with that opportunity is up to me. In no way have i found this information to go against my morals or my standards (which are very high). My influence in terms of sex and women comes from my mother. Always teaching me to be kind, polite and respectful of women ... so that's what I've always done. My beliefs on sex also came from my mother along with the public education system and the roman catholic church (which was phased out of my life as of 1998). All of these influences taught abstinence and STDs without ever qualifying sex as a healthy and normal act. (Though i always subconsciously knew that sex was totally natural ... i just had so many things in my face telling me to stay away from it.) Love and a relationship where things that you apparently stumbled upon and they "just happened" passively. No one ever told you HOW or the rules for attracting women ... and it seems like every effort was made to lead me away from the truth. So for the first 28 years of my life i was overly polite and respectful toward women as if they (as a whole) where to be cherished and put on a pedestal. If i liked a girl i would be shy and buy her flowers, constantly showering her with affection and respect ... and how many girls did that get me? A whopping 0! And despite what i may think of my relationship experience ... I've actually had quite a lot of it ... i just didn't realize it until now. from high school up until the present day (by simply being who i am) i was and remain a very desirable guy in the eyes of women ... my problem was that i never really noticed their attention and if i did my response was to overwhelm them with feelings, gifts and affection ... all the while pushing them further and further with meek and obsessive behaviors. Funny thing was ... i actually attracted those women by ignoring them and being oblivious to their advances at first ... it was only when i noticed and became a complete sap did they start to withdraw. In these DVDs they talk about developing your "inner game" ... a rather lame way of saying building your self confidence and getting your life in order. Fortunately for me my confidence is already extraordinarily high, my life is in near perfect order, I'm happy and optimistic in just about every way. Short of having a great romantic relationship (and sex life) with a women. They also talk about "male archetypes" and the "bad boy" attractiveness ... how people who are risk takers are subconsciously and undeniably attract more women. When i look at my own life I'm a pyrotechnician (exciting), an entrepreneur (independent), a business man (successful) and an artist (romantic). When you add all that up along with my social and cool nature ... I'm a hell of an attractive guy. Not to mention my physical attractiveness which is a bit above average (if i do say so myself!) Everything is starting to become so clear now it's amazing me ... I'm starting to remember all the instances where women gave me attention and WHY they did! And every single time i sabotaged it with my own weak and submissive behaviors toward women. I CAN LITERALLY REMEMBER THE ATTRACTION IN THEIR EYES FADING AWAY! I'm recalling every instance where a girl backed away as i poured over her. The funny thing is that in these DVD seminars they talk about psyching yourself up and standing tall to project an image of power ... But i don't have to project an "image" of power because i am innately powerful on my own! I actually am very confident and I'm in control of my own destiny. I should follow my dreams and when i see a girl i just take action toward her ... the next time a good looking girl is digging on me in a bar I'm just going to drag her aside and start making out with her and see what happens. The worst case scenario is that she slaps me and tells me to get lost ... but so what! There's like another dozen hot girls in the bar i could go after! It's all about numbers ... and if I'm going to be selective and HAVE a selection ... i need to talk to, qualify or disqualify many, many women before i find some that are up to my standards! And when i find those exceptional women i need to know that I'll have the confidence to keep that attraction going long enough to build great relationships with them. I'm also realizing that i need to de-emphasize sex and pull that off the pedestal. I need to make sex a normal thing in my own mind ... though thats not to say I'm going to start sleeping around with every girl that gives me the chance ... that privilege is still reserved for the elite few that i choose. I'll still keep my morals and my standards ... I'll still treat women with respect ... but only if they earn my respect. I'll still be who i am and i still want to settle down with a single woman and have kids. I'll still be a kind and loving father and a great husband ... because that's what my mom taught me. I'll still shower my wife with complements gifts and affection when it's appropriate ... but not every girl i come across in my daily life. In terms of dating and attraction ... it's a new day for me ... today is the day i opened my eyes and see things for what they really are. Critics be damned!