My wife’s new boyfriend

[cobra8]

My wife started seeing this guy.. they met at a sex club and all there dates have been somewhere else and not at our house. She communicates with me about all of it. My wife and I have a great relationship. The times she ends up on these dates is when I am out of town for work, because when I am back home she spends her time with me. This guy is now concerned about being respectful of our marriage and has been getting emotional. I told my wife if he is unclear on how our relationship works have him call me and I will talk with him. No one is cheating, we have a relationship that is poly and supportive of healthy relationships. If my wife wants to have a sexy Latino guy eat her ass then I am here to support that. But I think the better experience for all of us would be a threesome. I feel like the dynamic would work best if I take the dominant position and tell him what to do. We haven’t quite established that relationship yet, but I think he would be a great sub for both of us to direct. It seems like he wants the assurance that what he is doing is okay and respectful and always questioning. He respects me and is afraid of messing up.
Any tips on how to coach a guy who is new to all this on how to have a healthy sexy dynamic that works for all three of us?

 

[GS_PL]

You don't coach someone into a situation, but look for men who are already known to be sexually into trios or more. If you are wanting a second man simultaneously for your wife, it's another naked man in your presence that is the exciting part, so kudos on ever so slightly altering your sexual percentages!

 

[charamyn]

Why don't you spend some time together without sex (all three of you)? Go for a dinner or to a pub, try to get to know each other better and bond. If you "click", it will probably make him relaxed more. It is great that he has a respect for you.

 

[dreamer20]

My wife's dates weren't at our house. She said the other guy is now concerned about me. I told her have him call me. I will reassure him. I think a better experience for us all would be a threesome. I feel the best dynamic would be for me to be dominant and tell him what to do. I think he'd be a great sub for both of us to direct. Any tips on how to coach a guy new to this in order to achieve a healthy, sexy dynamic that works for us three?

I suggest you take this one step at a time, cobra8, with the other guy/"Guy". Make no mention of making Guy a sub for now. He needs to meet you both in person, but let your wife make the arrangements for that meeting instead of you. Let him know the objective of that meeting would be to discuss his concerns, put his mind at ease and be introduced to you. Once that task is completed you can propose the additional option of a threesome and see if he is open to that too, or not.

 

[cobra8]

Update: “Guy” was talking with wife and it came out that he actually had some underlying judgements about and trans people and that killed the vibe. It seems like he has lots of repressed desires, but flips between fantasizing about and shaming anything outside of one man and one woman relations. I guess we will let this one go and hope that he eventually heals whatever trauma he has that keeps him from accepting others or his desires.