Nathan Kehn (aka Nathan The Cat Lady)

This is another one who's still unmarried, childless and probably even single at 35, but "we have to consider him straight because that's what he's always claimed to be"
Who hurt you? Why so angry?
 
Still unmarried and childless (and probably even single) at 35, surrounded with cats. Not gay at all
He will definitely end up alone as an unemployed actor if he doesn't change his priorities and lifestyle soon.
 
I’ll marry him and take care of him!!
He will definitely end up alone as an unemployed actor if he doesn't change his priorities and lifestyle soon.
i volunteer to marry him and I’ll take care of him. I have enough for both of us!
 
I’ll marry him and take care of him!!

i volunteer to marry him and I’ll take care of him. I have enough for both of us!
Me too (the "volunteer to marry and take care of him" part at least, not the "have enough for both us" one), but only as long as he lays pipe to me every God-given night