Need A Translation

[rope9839]

My current SO has a photography hobby. She is usually toting a bagful of pictures of our latest exploits - trips, parties, and, of course, sexual. When she shows these to her friends she leaves in the nudes, which is really kind of a turn on for both of us. (Note: Some of the pics in my gallery are her work)

Here's the question: It seems that the most common comment about my pics is "he has a nice cock" or 'that's a really nice cock." Being a guy, I think quantitatively. I understand "that's a big cock" or "that's pretty long," etc. Though I take the comments as a compliment, I did ask her what they mean by "nice." She told me that I would have to ask them, which I probably will not do. (Takes our little turn on into the weird zone, IMO)

So I wondered if this enlightened group could give me a translation. What exactly makes a cock "nice?" And, if you care to glance at my gallery, is that the right word in your estimation?

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

this is going to sound really clinical, but I'd say it's nice b/c it's long and has great coloration.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Rope, just take the compliment and enjoy it! Seriously, it could mean any number of things, but I would take it to mean that the overall appearance is pleasing - size, shape, coloration... Have you ever seen a woman's bare chest and thought "nice tits!"? Point: Porn star Ron Jeremy has a huge cock, but it not what I would call a "nice" cock, something about the shape and texture is just unappealing.

 

[D_Barbi_Queue]

something about Ron Jeremy all together is just unappealing. I still say that he should be banned from porn. Isn't the point of porn to turn someone on? He just doesn't do it for me.

 

[madame_zora]

Yeah, he's been out of shpae for years, I can't understand why he's still in porn. Proof positive that women aren't meant to enjoy porn.

 

[Pecker]

If somebody complimented me by saying, "Nice cock!", I'd be flattered (they have and I was.)

As for Ron Jeremy, I can imagine folks having a fetish for Quasimodo or the troll in Billy Goats Gruff. uke:

 

[rope9839]

Thanks for the replies. Like I said, I try to take these comments as a compliment. However, sometimes it sounds like "Oh, that's nice." Nice is an ambivalent word. My own quirk, I guess.

 

[jonb]

I think Ron Jeremy's only in porn because there's no way a guy's going to have a homo moment.

Personally, I'd say women should do to porn what I do to movies and music. Namely, I can't identify with anything coming out of the MPAA or RIAA, so I go for the indie stuff. (In porn, I'm aware the indie stuff is generally either "no condom" or some kind of sleaze.)

Most text erotica authors are forced to come up with a plot. Even then, there are always tasteful nudes. Now then, don't be ashamed to experiment with these stories: The number and gender of partners should be irrelevant when you're just getting you're feet wet. You might find you're secretly bisexual, or you like reading about guys having sex. You might enjoy stories about masturbation, or about group sex. You might like real stories, or stories in a historical or SF/fantasy context. You might like stories about long-term relationships, or quick flings. And the best part of all is, none of these are mutually exclusive!

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by jonb@Apr 20 2005, 04:41 AM
I think Ron Jeremy's only in porn because there's no way a guy's going to have a homo moment.

Personally, I'd say women should do to porn what I do to movies and music. Namely, I can't identify with anything coming out of the MPAA or RIAA, so I go for the indie stuff. (In porn, I'm aware the indie stuff is generally either "no condom" or some kind of sleaze.)

Most text erotica authors are forced to come up with a plot. Even then, there are always tasteful nudes. Now then, don't be ashamed to experiment with these stories: The number and gender of partners should be irrelevant when you're just getting you're feet wet. You might find you're secretly bisexual, or you like reading about guys having sex. You might enjoy stories about masturbation, or about group sex. You might like real stories, or stories in a historical or SF/fantasy context. You might like stories about long-term relationships, or quick flings. And the best part of all is, none of these are mutually exclusive!

[post=302379]Quoted post[/post]​

What, you use your BRAIN for porn?

 

[jonb]

Well, someone has to. You'd be surprised what text can do for you. It's a good idea to keep that part of your brain which comes up with erotic fantasies active; that way, you can think up your own erotic fantasies.

Otherwise, you just end up in a matrix of cliches.

 

[madame_zora]

Oh, I agree completely. I was poking a little fun at the typical male idea of fake tits and blond hair- no cranial activity required kind of porn. I't really kind of unusual to find men (str8 anyway) who will take the time to get into well written erotica. Sex can be a great outlet for creative expression if you don't just get into the Blowjob-missionary-doggy style rut, but porn reinforces that scene with amazing regularity.

 

[jonb]

You forgot anal as part of that rut.

 

[madame_zora]

Yeah, I was trying to forget that part.


As for "nice cock", it's a good compliment. If I call someone's cock "nice" that means I find it appealing and want it in my mouth, so that should make you happy!

 

[jonb]

Yeah, well, anal's a cliche in gay porn. Kinda strange, since LA's mainstream gay population does a lot of non-penetrative behaviors, in the wake of HIV.

 

[madame_zora]

And God bless them, every one! Gay porn is where anal belongs, IMHO. When I'm watching porn, I don't give a rats ass about reality.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Well, the generalisation is that women are more subjective than us boys - so "nice cock" would mean they like it (for whatever reason) and "really nice cock" that they really like it.

I'm still wondering how Madame Z got to anal belonging in Gay Porn from the original post? Suppose the answer is Banana.

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by Lordpendragon@Apr 23 2005, 05:48 AM
Well, the generalisation is that women are more subjective than us boys - so "nice cock" would mean they like it (for whatever reason) and "really nice cock" that they really like it.

I'm still wondering how Madame Z got to anal belonging in Gay Porn from the original post? Suppose the answer is Banana.

[post=303664]Quoted post[/post]​

No, it's that gay porn is always the right answer!

 

[jonb]

Well, here it's translated into gibberish:

In Yoda: A really nice cock, that is
In ROT13: Gung'f n ernyyl avpr pbpx.
In Zero Wing: That are a really nice cock.
In Boston: That's a totally nice cock.
In hax0r: Thatz a r3ally n1c3 c0ck
In Ebonics: That be a really nice cock, yo.
In Valley Girl: That is a like, totally nice cock.
In binary: 10101001101000110000111101001001111110011 1100001 111001011001011100001110110011011001111001 1101110110100111000111100101 1100011110111111000111101011101110
In JeffK: That's a realey nice cock.
In übĕŗ133ť: Tĥąť'§ ą ŗĕą11ŷ Ñīçĕ çðçĶ.
In Martian: That's a pulchritudinous galliform.
In piglatin: Atthay's ayay eallyray icenay ockcay.
In Smurf: That's a smurfy smurfy cock.
In Marklar: Your marklar is a nice marklar.

 

[madame_zora]

Originally posted by jonb@Apr 23 2005, 07:15 PM
Well, here it's translated into gibberish:

In Yoda: A really nice cock, that is
In ROT13: Gung'f n ernyyl avpr pbpx.
In Zero Wing: That are a really nice cock.
In Boston: That's a totally nice cock.
In hax0r: Thatz a r3ally n1c3 c0ck
In Ebonics: That be a really nice cock, yo.
In Valley Girl: That is a like, totally nice cock.
In binary: 10101001101000110000111101001001111110011 1100001 111001011001011100001110110011011001111001 1101110110100111000111100101 1100011110111111000111101011101110
In JeffK: That's a realey nice cock.
In übĕŗ133ť: Tĥąť'§ ą ŗĕą11ŷ Ñīçĕ çðçĶ.
In Martian: That's a pulchritudinous galliform.
In piglatin: Atthay's ayay eallyray icenay ockcay.
In Smurf: That's a smurfy smurfy cock.
In Marklar: Your marklar is a nice marklar.

[post=303842]Quoted post[/post]​

Fucking sweet! I think binary's the best.

 

[jonb]

Oh, I forgot AOL: TAHTS A RILLY NIEC COK!!111! OMG LOL