Nonorgasmic Spouse

[Curious65]

I have been married to a wonderful woman for 23 years and we are compatible in all ways. She is an incredible person that I love deeply, but she is not able to have an orgasm and that has been bothering me more and more as time goes on. She has only ever had three in her 60 years and those were from masterbation when much younger.

She has never denied me sex, which is great. However, it is super arousing to me knowing I can make a woman cum and that has been absent. I miss this!

Not being able to make her climax has become a huge emotional hurdle for me to the point that I feel like I am using her to get my rocks off and I hate that. She says she loves being close to me when we have sex, but that's about it.

I do consider myself to be a tender and attentive lover and not a guy that just aims for the hole (although I have). Bubble baths, massage, flowers, nonsexual touch during the day are enjoyable things for me to do with her. I love eating pussy and can spend a long time nuzzling, licking, stroking, and sucking on hers. It used to be enough to be able to feel her clit and labia get engorged (huge turn on!) but lately that isn't enough for me to feel like I'm really pleasing her.

I've shared my dilemma with her and do realize it is MY issue to get over. She can't help it, but then again she seems only mildly concerned with how it affects me.

I tried introducing a vibrator into our lovemaking and she was a bit applaud by the whole thing. I wouldn't have been intimidated at all if she or I could have used it to get her off. I would have probably gone out and bought 10 more.

Anybody else out there going through this? I don't want to spend the rest of my life on a one way pleasure path, but I would never leave her for another.

 

[deleted814719]

"Not being able to make her climax has become a huge emotional hurdle for me to the point that I feel like I am using her to get my rocks off and I hate that."

I'm in a somewhat similar dilemma. Wife and I are both in our late 60s and PIV sex has apparently become very uncomfortable for her. Even with lube, she doesn't seem to want it. I love to eat her pussy and make her cum using fingers, vibrators, or whatever. She just doesn't seem to want any of it at this point and it's killing me.

She'll blow me and jack me off which is a bit of a relief but I truly miss penetrative sex. I feel as though I am going to spend the rest of my life on a one-way pleasure path and it is emotionally troubling. However, for my own emotional health, I'm going to buy a fleshlight and an aneros and pleasure myself. I simply refuse to go without some sort of sex and I hate the idea of cheating on my wife of over 40 years.

 

[Curious65]

"Not being able to make her climax has become a huge emotional hurdle for me to the point that I feel like I am using her to get my rocks off and I hate that."

I'm in a somewhat similar dilemma. Wife and I are both in our late 60s and PIV sex has apparently become very uncomfortable for her. Even with lube, she doesn't seem to want it. I love to eat her pussy and make her cum using fingers, vibrators, or whatever. She just doesn't seem to want any of it at this point and it's killing me.

She'll blow me and jack me off which is a bit of a relief but I truly miss penetrative sex. I feel as though I am going to spend the rest of my life on a one-way pleasure path and it is emotionally troubling. However, for my own emotional health, I'm going to buy a fleshlight and an aneros and pleasure myself. I simply refuse to go without some sort of sex and I hate the idea of cheating on my wife of over 40 years.

I feel for you being in a similar boat. I won't cheat (although have thought about it and have had the opportunity). The lack of feeling desired is a killer and not being able to enjoy giving my wife an organism is taking a toll.

 

[littleguy2]

Wife and

"Not being able to make her climax has become a huge emotional hurdle for me to the point that I feel like I am using her to get my rocks off and I hate that."

I'm in a somewhat similar dilemma. Wife and I are both in our late 60s and PIV sex has apparently become very uncomfortable for her. Even with lube, she doesn't seem to want it. I love to eat her pussy and make her cum using fingers, vibrators, or whatever. She just doesn't seem to want any of it at this point and it's killing me.

She'll blow me and jack me off which is a bit of a relief but I truly miss penetrative sex. I feel as though I am going to spend the rest of my life on a one-way pleasure path and it is emotionally troubling. However, for my own emotional health, I'm going to buy a fleshlight and an aneros and pleasure myself. I simply refuse to go without some sort of sex and I hate the idea of cheating on my wife of over 40 years.

I in our 60's and still having sex but it is becoming less frequent. Now about once every two weeks . In between I try to jerk off but alone time is an issue as well as making sure I am ready when she wants me. I need a few days to recharge now so I don't have much interest for a day or so after I cum. When we do it she enjoys it and although I my cock doesn't make her orgasm my/ her finger does once I shoot inside her. Shooting inside seems to be the key.
Pager- does your wife know you jerk off? Do you find alone time? What gets you off when alone ?

 

[Curious65]

Wife and

I in our 60's and still having sex but it is becoming less frequent. Now about once every two weeks . In between I try to jerk off but alone time is an issue as well as making sure I am ready when she wants me. I need a few days to recharge now so I don't have much interest for a day or so after I cum. When we do it she enjoys it and although I my cock doesn't make her orgasm my/ her finger does once I shoot inside her. Shooting inside seems to be the key.
Pager- does your wife know you jerk off? Do you find alone time? What gets you off when alone ?

I would be thrilled if I could get my wife off in any way. I think I've tried them all. She was not happy the night I tried to use a small vibrator on her. I ended up using it several times in my ass to get off (recommend!). The fact that she is content not being able to cum is also maddening I suppose because I see that as my "duty" and goal as her husband and because cumming is so important to me. She's 60 and I'm 57.

 

[littleguy2]

I would be thrilled if I could get my wife off in any way. I think I've tried them all. She was not happy the night I tried to use a small vibrator on her. I ended up using it several times in my ass to get off (recommend!). The fact that she is content not being able to cum is also maddening I suppose because I see that as my "duty" and goal as her husband and because cumming is so important to me. She's 60 and I'm 57.

I understand, we get pleasure by giving pleasure and feel I fail when I don't cum inside her. I know size doesn't matter for orgasm but like to know my little hardon gives her pleasure

 

[Curious65]

I understand, we get pleasure by giving pleasure and feel I fail when I don't cum inside her. I know size doesn't matter for orgasm but like to know my little hardon gives her pleasure

I just looked at your pics and you have a great looking cock with some nice sized saggy balls.

 

[littleguy2]

I just looked at your pics and you have a great looking cock with some nice sized saggy balls.

Thanks

 

[dave in oz]

Whilst women will tell you that the intimacy from sex and being with you is almost as good as an orgasm I can understand how it must feel to now be able to share that body wrenching orgasmic explosion where you are at the pinnacle of desire and feeling other worldy.

Getting my partner is a big part of me then getting off so I can imagine it must be very difficult, especially if they are just content to leave it as is and not explore ways to correct the situation.

 

[Curious65]

Whilst women will tell you that the intimacy from sex and being with you is almost as good as an orgasm I can understand how it must feel to now be able to share that body wrenching orgasmic explosion where you are at the pinnacle of desire and feeling other worldy.

Getting my partner is a big part of me then getting off so I can imagine it must be very difficult, especially if they are just content to leave it as is and not explore ways to correct the situation.

It's maddening, Dave. I've really tried to accept it as something she can't really control, but the feelings of resentment do surface at times.

 

[dave in oz]

It's maddening, Dave. I've really tried to accept it as something she can't really control, but the feelings of resentment do surface at times.

Totally understandable, would make you feel like you are feeling at one of the most important parts of your relationship even though it is completely not your fault. Hear ya buddy.

 

[deleted814719]

Wife and

I in our 60's and still having sex but it is becoming less frequent. Now about once every two weeks . In between I try to jerk off but alone time is an issue as well as making sure I am ready when she wants me. I need a few days to recharge now so I don't have much interest for a day or so after I cum. When we do it she enjoys it and although I my cock doesn't make her orgasm my/ her finger does once I shoot inside her. Shooting inside seems to be the key.
Pager- does your wife know you jerk off? Do you find alone time? What gets you off when alone ?

Yes, my wife knows I jerk off. First, she does the laundry and so has to wash our cum towels. Of course, there are tell-tale signs of cum in the towels and she would know how many she used herself for clean-up and any extra towels with dried cum on them.

I also will masturbate in bed next to her while she plays with my balls. I do this once or twice weekly to satisfy my sexual needs. PIV sex is less-and-less frequent as she has some GI issues, often feels bloated (I wouldn't want someone laying on me if I felt bloated!), or as she is in her late 60s, intercourse is just not comfortable even with lube.

 

[deleted814719]

I would be thrilled if I could get my wife off in any way. I think I've tried them all. She was not happy the night I tried to use a small vibrator on her. I ended up using it several times in my ass to get off (recommend!). The fact that she is content not being able to cum is also maddening I suppose because I see that as my "duty" and goal as her husband and because cumming is so important to me. She's 60 and I'm 57.

I'm sure you've explored this but do you understand or can she explain why she can't or won't orgasm? This is puzzling.

My wife, in her late 60s, still has shuddering orgasms which really turn me on. Interestingly, she often doesn't want me to finish her off but seems happy to pleasure me with her mouth and/or allow me to fuck her and cum inside. However, this is not necessarily a new phenomenon. There have been many times in our 45 years of marriage where she seemed very happy for me to orgasm and she just decided not to do so herself. I ALWAYS make a sincere offer to help her. It seems that she either doesn't feel that strongly about achieving orgasm or I've been doing it wrong for 45 years.

 

[Curious65]

I'm sure you've explored this but do you understand or can she explain why she can't or won't orgasm? This is puzzling.

My wife, in her late 60s, still has shuddering orgasms which really turn me on. Interestingly, she often doesn't want me to finish her off but seems happy to pleasure me with her mouth and/or allow me to fuck her and cum inside. However, this is not necessarily a new phenomenon. There have been many times in our 45 years of marriage where she seemed very happy for me to orgasm and she just decided not to do so herself. I ALWAYS make a sincere offer to help her. It seems that she either doesn't feel that strongly about achieving orgasm or I've been doing it wrong for 45 years.

It's incredibly puzzling and the fact that she doesn't care to try and experience this pleasure for herself makes me crazy! She just seems to accept that she doesn't cum and seems unconcerned for either of us.

She once went to a doctor about the issue to appease me, tried whatever med they prescribed, deemed it useless and never mentioned going back to the doctor or trying something different.

Not being able to make her cum and her not craving my attention is slowly killing me. As I've said, she won't deny my advances (the vast majority of the time unless something is wrong), but she gets no pleasure from intercourse or being eaten other than "it's nice to be close."

On several occasions I lost my erection because it was like fucking or eating an inanimate object - a lump of flesh, that I really do love dearly, that was just laying there.

It's really gotten more difficult to handle these last several years and my resentment is building. I won't cheat, although some would say what I'm doing here on LPSG equates to that, but also don't want to spend my last decades in this self esteem killing scenario.

I've asked if she was abused and all the things one might suspect to cause her to be like she is, which are all denied. I've often wondered if perhaps she is a lesbian, an idea posed to me by a therapist I was seeing years ago.

It sounds so pathetic to confess that I just want to be wanted by, and to sexually please, my wife. I never thought I'd be in a situation like this.

 

[littleguy2]

Yes, my wife knows I jerk off. First, she does the laundry and so has to wash our cum towels. Of course, there are tell-tale signs of cum in the towels and she would know how many she used herself for clean-up and any extra towels with dried cum on them.

I also will masturbate in bed next to her while she plays with my balls. I do this once or twice weekly to satisfy my sexual needs. PIV sex is less-and-less frequent as she has some GI issues, often feels bloated (I wouldn't want someone laying on me if I felt bloated!), or as she is in her late 60s, intercourse is just not comfortable even with lube.

I would really enjoy lying next to her and masturbating. One day I was horny and started playing with my hard dick, she showed no interest in intercourse so I continued with a little help from her. When I came she got pissed. Not sure if she really wanted sex or just didn’t want me to cum alone. Never got the reason either

 

[sissyjanine]

I'm in the same boat...married for 35 years...never made my wife cum even once. The one time I suggested she try and masturbate to see what made her cum she got quite mad. I felt bad fucking her because it felt like I was just using her....after getting her pregnant with our last kid was the last time we fucked...and no, she was disgusted when I suggested I go down on her.I suspect there are issues in her childhood that are effecting her and she really should see someone...but suggesting that also elicits and angry response...I'm sure she knows I jack off but she never comments on it or acknowledges it...ah well....

 

[Curious65]

I'm in the same boat...married for 35 years...never made my wife cum even once. The one time I suggested she try and masturbate to see what made her cum she got quite mad. I felt bad fucking her because it felt like I was just using her....after getting her pregnant with our last kid was the last time we fucked...and no, she was disgusted when I suggested I go down on her.I suspect there are issues in her childhood that are effecting her and she really should see someone...but suggesting that also elicits and angry response...I'm sure she knows I jack off but she never comments on it or acknowledges it...ah well....

It is a difficult situation to be in for sure.