Off Site Comment Has Me Steamed

[Scarletbegonia]

I am on FetLife. Surprise!

In a thread asking what makes you feel feminine, one CD poster said this:
Anything pink, yellow, blue, or. white... Anything lace... Anything floral... Anything that shows off my thighs and/or hips, like high waisted shorts and pencil skirts ... Anything tight that shows off my smooth front/tucked parts... Plastic chokers... Cute boy shorts or hipster panties... Skinny jeans that reveal the top of my panties... Anything crop cut... A romper or dress paired with tights... Having a bedroom with fashion and gossip magazines, stuffed animals/barbie dolls, and a floor covered in clothes (a pile of bras, mismatch socks, leggings, shirts, etc.)...

The last bit about a messy room that sounds more like a preteen just pissed me off.
This is why I loathe “sissies.” They denigrate women with their parody.

I’m mainly you do you, boo, but this impacts how people see women.

Am I too far off on this?

 

[MickeyLee]

Nah. Said mind set gets the delicate but flirty curls that accent the swan like grace of my neck up.

Now I don't feel feminine often, when I do it's got very little of the Gidget Goes 16 Magazine vibe to it.

My laundry pile is a danger to small animals. I lost a cat in there last week.

 

[693987]

I tend to dislike behavior of those into "sissy" and "forced homosexuality" because they talk a lot of shit about women and gay men. I'm not messy. I'm not a priss. Etc

 

[Scarletbegonia]

My mom bought me a Barbie. I sent it up on an Estes rocket.

 

[Tight_N_Juicy]

Not too far off on this at all. I don't leave my clothes all over my bedroom floor because my vagina makes me incapable of being organized or some shit.

This person just wants to be the embodiment of a stereotype.

 

[693987]

I played with spiders, ant colonies, and climbed trees. Dolls just sat around. I like stuffed animals more now than I ever used to.

My aunt is so nuts about cleaning and organization, she cleans her house before her maid shows up. My mom was crazy about cleanliness and being tidy too.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Not too far off on this at all. I don't leave my clothes all over my bedroom floor because my vagina makes me incapable of being organized or some shit.

This person just wants to be the embodiment of a stereotype.

Of a teenage girl, not a grown woman.

 

[Enid]

Well, OTOH I'm bothered, but OTOH I'm not as much.

I'm usually a to each their own type, with exceptions to nefarious stuff. This doesn't bother me on the level of nefarious.

But it does bother me these stereotypes are ubiquitous. Because they are not wholistic ideas of femininity, it's caricature. And this person is playing into that. Plastic chokers? There's something childish about the whole thing. Grumpy cat says: I hate it.

 

[AlteredEgo]

When I'm messy, it is a combination of ADHD and the resultant poor scheduling of an extremely heavy workload. Men with ADHD struggle to manage and organize their possessions too.

I feel feminine when I win. When my intelligence and/or creativity solve problems, or bring delight to others, I feel like a grown ass woman.

When I make something new, I feel like a boss. And THAT feels feminine.

Looking and smelling good makes me feel feminine. Nothing makes me feel masculine, because I do not see myself as masculine.

I find it disappointing when men claim femininity while making a mocking caricature of the most frivolous associations they think of as un-masculine. These types claim to feel feminine when they feel slutty, or weak. Fuck that.

 

[LaFemme]

I think these CDs or men who play at femininity, have little choice but to use stereotypes. What do they really know of what it is to be a woman except what they read in magazines or see in the media? They have no lived experience as a woman so they appropriate the external and think it replaces internal workings of what it means to be feminine.

I’ve seen it with trans women. They spend far more time on makeup, clothing, and hair than I ever do - as if the external will replace years of being female, at least initially. It takes time before the inside matches the outside. It’s overcompensating. Later, my trans friends, in my experience, get more comfortable with their own type of femininity and stop over-compensating with hyper stereotypes of womanhood.

I think we’re lucky as cis women to have the freedom to express ourselves the way we want. Wear pants, wear dresses, go without makeup cut our hair - we still have a ways to go as women, but we’re still lucky overall. Non-binary, gender fluid, trans, etc. aren’t as lucky in this heteronormative world.

Just my two cents anyway.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I think these CDs or men who play at femininity, have little choice but to use stereotypes. What do they really know of what it is to be a woman except what they read in magazines or see in the media? They have no lived experience as a woman so they appropriate the external and think it replaces internal workings of what it means to be feminine.

I’ve seen it with trans women. They spend far more time on makeup, clothing, and hair than I ever do - as if the external will replace years of being female, at least initially. It takes time before the inside matches the outside. It’s overcompensating. Later, my trans friends, in my experience, get more comfortable with their own type of femininity and stop over-compensating with hyper stereotypes of womanhood.

I think we’re lucky as cis women to have the freedom to express ourselves the way we want. Wear pants, wear dresses, go without makeup cut our hair - we still have a ways to go as women, but we’re still lucky overall. Non-binary, gender fluid, trans, etc. aren’t as lucky in this heteronormative world.

Just my two cents anyway.

I think transwomen have women friends. Who could be helpful.
More time on makeup is to cover signals of masculinity.
6 pm at a trans event has a lot of stubble showing.