Just wondered what peoples views are on open relationships -
Also, how would you feel if your partner asked you for this ?
My partner was in an open relationship when I met him. He was having a relationship with someone in the military, someone who was a thousand miles away most of the time. So they had an understanding. When my partner met me he wanted it to be just a one night stand. I didn't want anything to do with a one night stand so after a couple weeks of phone calls we ended up going to a business event one evening and started to see more of each other.
Would you agree ?
My partner has been out of the country for a few years due to various issues. When he knew this was coming up he had a discussion about it. Since he was in an open relationship before, would I be in one with him since he would be away. My first thought about them was NO WAY! LOL. I remember years ago I met people who had them and thought I would NEVER DO THAT. Well, due to an odd situation, I was about to consider it. My partner and I love each other and care about each other and we know lots of couples lie, have sex one the side, etc. We just thought it would make us stronger to just communicate and accept it. We are 2,250 miles from each other. We agreed that if we can live with the distance, the separation and still love/care for each other, then having a "don't ask, don't tell" relationship would be the least of our worries.
Would you think it would work for both of you ?
It has worked for us. He's been out of the country several years but we see each other several times a year. We communicate often ... every day. We talk on the phone, we chat online, we text and email. We are in similar industries and have similar likes, dislikes, goals, etc. At one point he got into a mini relationship when an acquaintance (read: sex partner) stalked him and my partner's head was so messed up (this was November 2006) that he stopped communication with the stalker and me. He needed to decompress. Of course he missed me and after not communicating for a month he contacted me again.
Would you end the relationship you have if you did not want that ?
Yes, I would end it. He almost ended it. We have discussed that situation many many times. But we know we have a strong relationship. Is it perfect? Hell know. Does it work for us? So far. We eventually hope to be together for good but until then we do what we need to get through the time and distance. Communication is our strongest ally.
Is it a big deal ?
It was a big deal in the beginning but now it's just our "normal" situation. I know of many couples who have worse/better relationships. So I do not compare ours. It is what it is and it's working for us.