Pain during first time

[v.degraaf]

I've been a bartender at a student pub for a couple of years, and during that time I've build up quite a long list of girls I slept with - usually just for fun (or for the weekend). I want to stress that this was always done with mutual respect. And yes, I've also had a couple of longer relationships, but they didn't work out, so I just continued enjoying my life.

For one reason or another - I suspect some of these girls spoke about me to each other - there was a remarkable increase at one point in women who told me that they had no prior sexual experience. Especially as I grew older I think I unwillingly got this "he's good if you want to get rid of your virginity"-vibe or something. When a not-so-beautiful girl came to the bar and started hitting on me, I always knew there was a reason behind that. And the thruth is: YES, there are women who just "want to get rid of it".

And I'm going to be honest with you guys, that almost never was a great experience. I can assure you I know how things work, how long foreplay should last, how to give a woman an orgasm, how to turn them on, etc... but despite all these preparations the PAIN some of them went through was intense. On multiple occasions I've seen them bleeding too. When I'm looking on Instagram or Tik Tok there are always sex counselors or doctors saying that "sex should never hurt, not even the first time", I'm always like "yeah sure", that's not my experience. And no, I don't have a large penis and yes, I'm going slow and I'm sure they are relaxed. Even when I'm doing everything by the book, it was still painful for a large majority of them.

Is this something that those in here who have had sex with a female virgin went through as well? Is it BS to say that "it shouldn't hurt"?

 

[MickeyLee]

Painful sex is a lack of something not the presence of virginity/hymen.

Realistically, before reaching the age of booze legality most women have had several medical exams, a near decade of menstrual products and probably some exploratory masturbation sessions. Like, a hymen isn't a bank vault. It's a thin membrane of tissue. It's doesn't even cover a good portion of the vaginal opening.

So, intense pain is more likely nervousness, inebriation or lack of physical arousal for sufficient time. Cuz brain horny doesn't always mean the woohaa is ready for company.

Pain free first times are not a myth. It should be an expected standard.

ETA: none of the above is a dig on the OP. I suspect the "getting rid of it" mindset might do heaps toward the pained aspect of the encounter.

 

[MickeyLee]

OP: if you are looking for comments from other guys the General Sexuality or Sex With a Large Penis subs might bring more "this one time at..." replies.

This lil area is more for women to discuss their side of things, or seek wisdom/humor with other ladies and fellas of good company.

Ask a Woman would also restricts other dudes from two centsing your thread.

Anywho. If you want a relocation lemme know.

 

[MickeyLee]

Shifted this over to General Sexual Discussion