Random Hook Up Safety Question

[B_smooth_7]

I usually don't have a problem meeting someone for a hook up but tonight a guy wrote me that he and a friend wanted to come over for a three way. I've never met either of them so I said let's meet at a McDonalds near my place and we'd go from there. I just didn't want to give out my address even though I'd have to go to the main door of the condo building to let them in. I guess I could have met them at the door and said no if I wasn't comfortable but thought McD's would be a better bet.

They said no, that they just wanted to come over to fuck and all the "bullshit" was bullshit.

What do you think? Was I being overly safe?

P.S. Both are young black guys, btw I like black men and don't have a problem hooking up with a black guy but two young guys set off an alarm. Two young white guys would have done the same and I would have reacted the same way.

 

[danimal32]

Hell no, you're inviting them into your home. If there are two of them and one of you, and you want to meet elsewhere, then that's what you need to do. You did the right thing in my opinion. Go with your gut.

 

[quinn_s]

Agreed. You need to make sure you are comfortable.

 

[canuck_pa]

I think we all need to be careful when hooking up with a stranger. And with two you have to be doubly careful. Colour doesn't playing into it at all.

 

[umichdude9]

It is kind of dangerous, you don't know them and there are a lot of possibilities for something to go wrong. Usually I always want to meet someone public before heading back to my place or theirs. Go with your gut.

 

[theplayerking]

Yeah, that sounds pretty sketchy. I wouldn't have done it.

I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s unusual for two young black guys to want to have sex with a 56-year-old white guy. That, in and of itself, is a red flag. It’s possible that they were really into it, but if something sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

 

[B_smooth_7]

Yeah, that sounds pretty sketchy. I wouldn't have done it.

I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s usual for two young black guys to want to have sex with a 56-year-old white guy. That, in and of itself, is a red flag. It’s possible that they were really into it, but if something sounds to good to be true, it probably is.

^^THIS! This is what set off the red flags. I think one on one I can handle myself but two guys, regardless of color, who don't want to meet a few blocks away first, is a no go. When I explained why I wanted to meet in public - that I just wanted all of us to be comfortable with each other, the one who was writing said, "never mind".

 

[D_Aurifice_Stupher]

I've had two men into my place, both one at a time. Little known to them, there was a .45 ACP handgun under the cushion of the couch within easy reach if it should be needed. And when I leave, said handgun travels with me as well. Hope to god I never need it, but if I do I at least have it.

Two guys at the same time? Never happen here. No way no how. Not unless I knew them well. You played it right, err on the side of caution. If they do not like it, it is their loss.

 

[BigD_2]

I've always been amazed, in my time in the gay world, that I've never (to the best of my knowledge!) hooked up with anyone who had bad intentions. (I shouldn't say that, I'll jinx myself lol.) People who I wish I hadn't hooked up with, yes...people who were a little bit crazy, yes...people who were unhappy because I didn't have drugs, yes...but never anyone who was interested in physical damage or in burglary or anything like that.

That said: smooth_7, you were totally right to not have 2 random people in your home without meeting them first, I have never done that and would not. One-on-one is one thing but 2-on-1 is something entirely different...no matter how hot the guys, I believe you did the right thing!

 

[B_smooth_7]

I lived in Prague for 16 years and only once had an issue. We took showers but he dried off and walked out. I didn't think anything of it as I finished drying myself.

I went back to my bedroom and reached for my watch and it was gone. I thought maybe I unconsciously dropped it in the drawer. I opened the drawer and of course it wasn't there and neither was a wad of cash I left there.

I turned to the guy and told him to empty his pockets. He said no and I walked to my door and locked it. I said you either empty your pockets or I'll throw you ass out of the window. He started crying and pulled out my watch and cash.

I walked him downstairs let him out the front door and locked it. He stood there saying that he didn't know where he was (I picked him up in town and drove up to my place in the burbs). I told him I didn't give a shit and walked away.

A week later I saw someone on line write a warning about the guy. SAME GUY! Apparently he was doing this more than just once.

There was an American living in Prague (NOT ME!) who was robbed of everything he owned. He picked up a rent boy and brought him back to his place. The young guy slipped him a roofy. When he came to his apartment was completely empty. No furniture, no clothes, no nothing and the door was jammed from the outside. He couldn't get out. He was heard screaming from his window and eventually found.

Ever since then, I've never drank or ate anything anyone offers me. Even in my own place, I pour my own drink and it never leaves my sight. If it does, it won't get finished.

 

[theplayerking]

At risk of sounding like a snob, I don’t hook up with guys outside of my social class, and certainly not in my apartment. It’s partly out of attraction, but also about security—and general comfort level.

I’ll play with other types of guys at a bathhouse or sex club, but it’s easier not having them in my home.

 

[umichdude9]

Ever since then, I've never drank or ate anything anyone offers me. Even in my own place, I pour my own drink and it never leaves my sight. If it does, it won't get finished.

On a random note, have you seen the movie Hard Candy? Pretty much the girl gives a guy a drink in his house before they hook up, turns out she drugged it. Knocks the guy out, he wakes up on his counter tied down and she does some pretty crazy stuff. (He turns out to be a pedophile/rapist)

 

[qqqttt]

I think it's impossible to ever be 100% safe with hook ups. You always need to take some risk. But I think you were smart to reject the meeting with these guys. Unless they have something to hide they should not be afraid to meet you outside your house at a McDonalds or a cafe.

Perhaps subconsciously you did detect something suspicious about these guys which you were not able to articulate to yourself consciously. It's OK to trust your gut and cancel the meeting.

Another thing, recently a young gay guy and his friends were convicted of murdering a wealthy older gay guy in Palm Springs. During the trial it was revealed that these young gay guys had a standard rip-off which involved hooking up with older wealthy gay guys and then while in their victim's house they would very quickly install "key logging" software on the victim's home computer/laptop so that when the victim later logged onto his bank's website the "key logging" software would capture his username and password and email it to them (the thieves). This hack allowed the thieves to easily take control of their victim's financial accounts. Thus, it's probably a very good idea to keep tricks away from your computer/laptop.

 

[AtomicMouse1950]

You did the right thing. Their reaction to meeting at McDonalds was enough to throw up alarm bells.

I usually don't have a problem meeting someone for a hook up but tonight a guy wrote me that he and a friend wanted to come over for a three way. I've never met either of them so I said let's meet at a McDonalds near my place and we'd go from there. I just didn't want to give out my address even though I'd have to go to the main door of the condo building to let them in. I guess I could have met them at the door and said no if I wasn't comfortable but thought McD's would be a better bet.

They said no, that they just wanted to come over to fuck and all the "bullshit" was bullshit.

What do you think? Was I being overly safe?

P.S. Both are young black guys, btw I like black men and don't have a problem hooking up with a black guy but two young guys set off an alarm. Two young white guys would have done the same and I would have reacted the same way.