Reality Check

[13788]

Donk: Hapi, I must make the friendly observation that your lack of penis length is more than made up for by the lengthiness of your posts.

I will keep mine relatively short with just a couple observations.

My main point here is one that was summed up many years ago in a popular song: you've got to accentuate the positive.

A large penis and a small penis both have their pros and cons. You must forgive those of us with large penises if we do not have the personal experience to intelligently list all the possible pros of a smaller one. The point is that, whatever the pros are, you will be happier if you enjoy those instead of focusing on cons that you can't eliminate. The one pro that every functioning penis has is the ability to provide pleasurable stimulation to its owner, in one form or another.

I won't attempt an exhaustive comparison of large and small pros and cons, but I'll offer one example: One con of a large penis is that it is not the best size for satisfying oral sex. When my gf (who happens to give the best blowjobs I have ever gotten) is treating me to oral sex, I could choose to focus on the con and let my pleasure be ruined by the fact that she can't get much of me into her mouth, she might grate me with her teeth, etc., and the thought that I could probably get a much better bj if I had a much smaller penis. Or I can just surrender to the pleasure I am getting from whatever she is able to do with it--I choose the latter option. I would not choose to give up some of my size in exchange for more satisfying oral sex. BUT, if I had a small penis, I hope I would choose to focus on the pleasure of having my entire shaft engulfed in a warm mouth, flicked by a caring tongue, etc. instead of wasting the moment wishing I was big enough to gag her.

It's hard for me to put myself in your place--and I confess that I am glad to be big--but I would encourage you to try viewing your condom as half full, not half empty.

 

[13788]

H8Monga: You should see my e-mails and some "instant" messages. I can write books!

I am trying to find the positive. That's my point. It's what I want to know... aside from pleasure. That's something we all have in common... and I am my own best lover! Virgin power! There's got to be more than how it functions. One thing though, and no offense to the women here, but I am glad to be male!

Thanks Donk. Condom half full... haha!

 

[13788]

Ineligible: [quote author=Hapi Papi link=board=sex;num=1054529490;start=0#17 date=06/05/03 at 09:12:58] . . . This I don't get. Some are miserable and proud at the same time. . . Opinions flip flop too much. . . [/quote]
I wonder, Hapi Papi, if you're using either/or thinking here when it doesn't fit? What I mean is, assuming that either having a large penis is pure marvellousness and it makes a large difference to your worthiness, or it's something that is a lot of trouble and in other respects is a matter of complete indifference. Surely neither of these extremes is the truth. From all that people have said, a large penis has advantages and disadvantages, but for most hung men, they prefer being hung. For women there are advantages and disadvantages, but it seems most would prefer something largish but not too large; however the degree to which this is important varies, and for most women there are other issues that are much more important.

We are not all made equal. Some of us have more below the belt than others. But this isn't unique to genitalia: some of us are better-looking than others, some of us are more intelligent than others, some more muscular, some more artistic, some more sensitive, some better at car repairs, and so on and so on. I don't even say that we all even out - I don't think that is correct, and how can you quantify one attribute against another, anyway? But we accept that being ordinary looking, or not bright, or weedy, or an artistic dunce, or insensitive, or a complete klutz under a car, are disadvantages, but ones we can live with. Someone can love us regardless of the traits at which we do not excel; and if no-one else will, at least we can. And at any rate, whatever we are given by nature, we can try to be a nice person and do good and make the best of our lives.

Does that help at all, do you think?

 

[13788]

H8Monga: I give up.

*cheers from the crowd*

I'm going to accept what I have and how everyone is and become one of those pathetic small guys who worship larger guys and live for humiliation because of what he doesn't have. There's no point to even bring up anything dealing with this subject and the differences and double standards. They keep getting swept under the rug. It's a force I can't reckon with, for sure. It's the way of the world and I concede.

*frenzied Beatle Mania cheers from the crowd*

 

[Max]

Ineligible,

Thanks for your clarity. I think you have put it exactly right. But it isn't always easy to apply cold logic to this subject, is it? So I also understand Hapi's frustration.

 

[B_DoubleMeatWhopper]

I have a positive point for you, Hapi. When you're averagely hung, you know people like you for who you are rather than for what's swinging between the thighs. I have known people who have been friendy toward me and seemed to be sincere only to find out that they were just trying to cozy up to me with intentions of getting in my pants. That may be some people's dream, but it's not mine. You don't have to worry about size queens' ulterior motives to befriending you; that's a positive that can mean more than you'd imagine.

 

[13788]

View_From_Below: Earlier on this thread, Hapi "dared" anyone (meaning hung or unhung) to list any actual advantages of being small. OK, maybe "dare" was a little shrill, and that set a few people's teeth on edge, but what has happened is interesting.

Donk, being the gentleman he is, says that he's sure there must be some advantages, though he says he is unable to name any himself, as he has never been small. He does surmise that smaller size is probably better than large for oral sex involving insertion (as opposed to, say, licking, where size doesn't matter).

Curtis earlier talked about not being able to thrust with abandon as a downside of large size, and thus implied that it was an advantage of being small [leaving aside for the moment the concomitant disadvantage of small = not a tight fit, which he also mentioned].

DMW has suggested that an advantage of modest size is that you don't have to worry that people are coming on to you because of your dick itself (a sort of dubious achievement advantage).

Anyway...what I'm noticing is that no one from the modestly endowed, who above all should be able to say what the advantages are if there are any, is naming any at all, nor is anyone agreeing that these proposed advantages square with their own experience. Possibly everyone is just being polite and reticent for some reason. But more likely the meaning of the silence is pretty clear.

Just...a reality check.

 

[13788]

H8Monga: Silence can also mean there is a lack of advantages.

I couldn't find it, but I thought I read in this thread or another where someone wrote that being while being large can mean some inches that didn't penetrate while the smaller guy has to work hard to penetrate deeply... I wish I could quote it but in saying that, it makes me think that once I ever start having sex, the girl is going to be a bottomless pit to me since he put it that way. That's one of my worries. Yes, I will be the lucky one to get Miss Lucy Loose.

Dr. Whopper, that post I appreciate. Size queens cozying up to you for size is a disadvantage and one I acknowledge... but they also exist on this side as a problem. I guess we have them in common! they are no good in either way! I wonder if there are women who like really small penises? Point me to their location...

 

[Ralexx]

Hapi Papi wrote:

Virgin power!

Richard Branson would thank you for this !!!

 

[13788]

Donk: [quote author=View_From_Below link=board=sex;num=1054529490;start=20#26 date=06/06/03 at 20:04:54]
Anyway...what I'm noticing is that no one from the modestly endowed, who above all should be able to say what the advantages are if there are any, is naming any at all, nor is anyone agreeing that these proposed advantages square with their own experience.  Possibly everyone is just being polite and reticent for some reason.  But more likely the meaning of the silence is pretty clear.[/quote]

May I submit that this silence may just be a function of context. It may be that modestly endowed men who are attracted to participating in a discussion board on the topic of large penises will tend to be those who have trouble seeing the advantages of their own size. Similar logic may explain why Hapi is not picking up women who like really small penises through this board. It doesn't mean they don't exist--I'm sure they do--just that they are not likely to come to LPSG looking for them.

 

[13788]

H8Monga: Oh I'm not looking for any here... I wouldn't expectb them here. I just wonder if they really exist. Besides, I'll never look for a relationship other than friendship online.

 

[13788]

AnonyMs: [quote author=Hapi Papi link=board=sex;num=1054529490;start=20#27 date=06/06/03 at 21:14:58]I wonder if there are women who like really small penises? Point me to their location...[/quote]Hapi Papi: You have so much to learn about what pleases a woman you're probably doomed before you start. Here is a reality check for you: MOST women care squat about the size of their partner's penis. There is so much more to sex than the size of your penis. There is so much more to a relationship than just the sex. You are in far more danger of losing a woman from your incessant obsession of worrying about your size and the resultant self-absorption than over your actual size. Constantly reassuring you your penis is large enough and she does not wish she were with a larger guy will be so tiresome.

Let's say your luck held true and the woman of your dreams was indeed a 'lucy loose' - such an insulting moniker to begin with. Would you beat her over the head with it, or would you find creative and fun ways of using that physical attribute to your advantage? Or would you simply give up?

Do you think we women feel like we 'settle' for a guy who is not well endowed? We are so much more concerned with the total package. You will always have size queens, but most women do not even give that a thought when it comes to deciding if we want to spend time with a guy.

If you should ever be in bed with a woman, focus on her pleasure and not on the size of your penis. There are so many ways of pleasing a woman that have nothing to do with a penis at all.

Rather than desperately wanting an ego boost over the size of your penis, why not focus on getting an ego boost that you are the best lover your partner has ever had? The best lover I ever had was a man who was smaller than what you state you are. And in the chain of relationships, he came right after the guy who was the LARGEST I have ever had. Did I ever wish I was with the large guy when I was with the other guy? NEVER.

It is rare for a woman to break up with a man over his penis size. It is rare for a woman to stay with a man just because of his penis size.

Whether a woman finds you a dud or a stud in bed has little to do with the size of your penis. But there is nothing any one can say to convince you what you have will work very well. You are so convinced in your head that a woman will reject you over the size of your penis that you are probably creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

And the day that happens, I am sure we will all hear about it on this board ad naseum.

 

[13788]

Curtis: My eternal gratitude to AnonyMs for bluntly stating what I have wanted to say here for a long time. It carries much more credibility, coming from a woman.

Let's not be too hard on hapless Hapi, though. His delusions are frightfully common among penis owners. And in fairness, it is just as common for women to be needlessly insecure about their bodies and clueless about what men really want.

I have a friend who told me his penis is smaller than his thumb. To him, the greatest disadvantage is that when he gets kicked in the groin by a cow, there's no meat to cushion the blow to his testicles.

This guy is happily married to an attractive, bright, warm, loving woman. He has two adorable children and a job that he enjoys immensely and that provides him with a very nice income.

My friend is living the American dream, not because of his penis, nor in spite of it. And he has been successful in love because he learned long ago that pleasing a woman has nothing to do with anatomy and everything to do with how she is treated.

Now a similar point from my perspective. My wife tells me that the orgasms I give her are the best orgasms she has ever had, and certainly better than the ones she achieves through masturbation. The important point is that my penis isn't involved in the delivery. I do it through oral stimulation, a skill acquired through many months of experimentation, listening to her and learning what pleases her. We also enjoy copulating in various positions and other forms of sexual fun, but she never lets me quit until I put my mouth down there and "finish the job." On those rare occasions when she gets horny and drags me into the bedroom, it's not my cock she wants. She wants an orgasm that only I can deliver!

Maybe that sounds a bit boasful, but I truly believe that if I ever became impotent, I would still have no problem pleasing my wife sexually.

Curtis

 

[13788]

H8Monga: AnonyMs and Curtis, thanks for your words. I understand sex involves more than the penis. I just hear so many stories from certain friends I wish I could have the experience myself. But one thing AnonyMs, if I am proven wrong about how I feel by whatever woman out there, she won't hear a peep because it'd be cleared up. But then too, maybe I just won't use it and just be there as the big teddy bear I am and do other things. Curtis, women and them receiving oral sex, makes them melt I hear especially if done the way they like. One advantage to being a virgin is that I am completely moldable and I won't have a one-method fits all approach. Yes I have a lot to learn and I need a teacher.

AnonyMs, I'm sorry for the Lucy Loose. I can make a not-so-tight vagina an advantage? I just hear the stories about not tight being bad.