Relationship

[erpap]

Do you ever wonder if your significant other gets easily aroused by co-workers, acquaintances, other people in general. Are you secure with yourself not to care or insecure and it bothers you?

I know it’s human nature and it’s just being human. But, I think if I had a partner who was getting erections in a meeting talking with someone or a social situation it would bother me. Guess I’m insecure.

I see attractive people and of course I notice, however I don’t start get an erection. I’m sure some people do?

If in a monogamous relationship, as long as your partner doesn’t cheat do you care if he gets hard on from looking at other people?

 

[chrisrobin]

My ex significant other most certainly did and followed through. While it was just a work thing I treated it as a wank at work. He became an ex once his wandering went everywhere

 

[erpap]

My ex significant other most certainly did and followed through. While it was just a work thing I treated it as a wank at work. He became an ex once his wandering went everywhere

So he easily got aroused and wanked and then cheated?

 

[chrisrobin]

So he easily got aroused and wanked and then cheated?

He got easily lead astray and dropped his pants for a fuck with any cock going.

 

[erpap]

He got easily lead astray and dropped his pants for a fuck with any cock going.

I’m sorry.

 

[Brodie888]

Aroused at work to the point of getting an erection is unusual.

As an adult, a person should be ejaculating enough for this not to occur.

 

[Boaxy]

"Significant other"

Who, what, where, when, HOW? How are Gay men even finding partners now?

And guys who are partnered, except for the odd ignorant few, are very monogamous and serious because it's so fucking hard to find love as a gay man, you be so stupid to give up on a good thing. I'm not talking about exceptions like spicing things up and hiring an escort or something as a fifth wheel, but I'm not talking about that.

I'm single as a can of barbecue Pringles, and it's not by choice.

I'm black and gay and cursed and now more than ever being gay sucks. I hate how everyone on LPSG is being confusingly blind to this.

 

[dana2]

Do you ever wonder if your significant other gets easily aroused by co-workers, acquaintances, other people in general. Are you secure with yourself not to care or insecure and it bothers you?

I know it’s human nature and it’s just being human. But, I think if I had a partner who was getting erections in a meeting talking with someone or a social situation it would bother me. Guess I’m insecure.

I see attractive people and of course I notice, however I don’t start get an erection. I’m sure some people do?

If in a monogamous relationship, as long as your partner doesn’t cheat do you care if he gets hard on from looking at other people?

Stop trying to be the hard-on police. You need to lose your insecurity or it will mess with your relationships. You absolutely cannot keep people from getting erections. It's futile to become upset about it. The excellent sex advice columnist Dan savage (I recommend his podcast Savage Love) talks about the "zone of erotic autonomy". Basically people must respect that their partners may fantasize, get hard ons and and masterbate thinking about other people. This is from one of his columns:

"Everyone is entitled to privacy, even married people. Likewise, everyone enjoys a zone of erotic autonomy, even married people. Experiences you fantasize about, when and how you masturbate, things you can safely do without violating your monogamous commitment and/or putting your partner at risk … not only shouldn’t someone try to take those things from you, it’s not in anyone’s power to take those things from you. We can’t police our partner’s fantasies. Ideally, our partners feel safe sharing their fantasies with us and involving us to the extent we can or wish to be involved. But we can’t prevent our partners from looking at whatever they want to look at, provided they’re considerate about when and where, and we certainly can’t stop our partners from thinking about whatever they want to think about, dick in hand or no dick in hand."

 

[LPSG Simon]

Stop trying to be the hard-on police. You need to lose your insecurity or it will mess with your relationships. You absolutely cannot keep people from getting erections. It's futile to become upset about it. The excellent sex advice columnist Dan savage (I recommend his podcast Savage Love) talks about the "zone of erotic autonomy". Basically people must respect that their partners may fantasize, get hard ons and and masterbate thinking about other people. This is from one of his columns:

"Everyone is entitled to privacy, even married people. Likewise, everyone enjoys a zone of erotic autonomy, even married people. Experiences you fantasize about, when and how you masturbate, things you can safely do without violating your monogamous commitment and/or putting your partner at risk … not only shouldn’t someone try to take those things from you, it’s not in anyone’s power to take those things from you. We can’t police our partner’s fantasies. Ideally, our partners feel safe sharing their fantasies with us and involving us to the extent we can or wish to be involved. But we can’t prevent our partners from looking at whatever they want to look at, provided they’re considerate about when and where, and we certainly can’t stop our partners from thinking about whatever they want to think about, dick in hand or no dick in hand."

Im 100% on this. Porn too, to be honest. People need to get over the whole mind-cheating myth.

 

[erpap]

When your partner spends more time jerking off to other people and your relationship suffers from it it’s an issue.

 

[LPSG Simon]

When your partner spends more time jerking off to other people and your relationship suffers from it it’s an issue.

I think that goes for any activity that might have you neglecting your partner. Including workaholism.

 

[dana2]

When your partner spends more time jerking off to other people and your relationship suffers from it it’s an issue.

If you feel that your partner is not giving you enough of his sexual energy that is another issue. I would suggest to stop worrying about him jerking off. All men do, married or straight. As Seinfeld said on the masturbation contest episode "it's like shaving". And stop worrying about him getting hard thinking about other people. You will just make yourself crazy. Focus on your relationship and spicing up your sex life and intimacy. Make out more. In my opinion making out is one of the keys to a good relationship.

 

[Jlatinochub]

My husband tells me about it. Better to be upfront and talk about it.

 

[MuscledHorse]

It's never an issue here. My husband and I both reject the absurd and scientifically baseless religious dogma driven construct of sexual monogamy. For us, sex is treated as the male pleasure sport it is. We both play--together and separately--though I am far more sexually prolific than he is, and he encourages and enables my promiscuity. The effect on our relationship? It's much stronger because there's no cloud of Jealousy of the Other hanging over our relationship. We can focus on our emotional connection and Love for each other without tying it up in something totally unrelated to our commitment to be there for each other. While he works form home, he knows I am always checking out guys, even at work. And while I will never have sex with a co-worker or subordinate, I have had sex with others in the bathroom and behind the building at work. Males would be far happier if they would let go of this self loathing shame and guilt driven monogamy crap and lives as males inherently are: sexually driven human-animals who need frequent release and variety.