Sorry but that's a bit of an idealist way to describe sexuality.
A man who sexually prefers women but doesn't get hard for women => closeted and hiding under a hetero identity.
That's what we call that.
If you are not sexually attracted to a sex but are emotionally attracted to a sex, then you are just living together as brother and sister.
Sexual arousal and emotional connection can't be disconnected in a healthy relationship.
You’re removing individual psychology, emotion, experience, potential fluidity from the equation.
A lot of men out here think that they’re “straight” or at least hetero-leaning just because they get harder quicker for chicks. But they keep hooking up with men and keep having low-key relationships with men. They still have gay desires, passions, emotional longings, companionship longings, etc. despite what they may get immediately hard for. A lot of men who are in happy gay relationships are more prone to get harder for chicks or for people with pussies. A lot of men who hook up with tons of dudes still don’t really have much of homo passions, affections, emotional longings. Some people don’t even have very well developed emotional or romantic aspects of themselves, especially if they have traumas and disorders that they haven’t confronted.
We connect sociology and politics to everything, which is understandable. Yes, some of these DL guys would still not prefer being with a man even if the world had zero hetero privilege, zero toxic masculinity, no male homophobia. However, a lot of men in hetero commitments would indeed not be in them without some type of ego and sociological boost, privilege, protection. It’s all an individual by individual thing.
We still haven’t really embraced and understood just how individual “sexuality”, sexual libido, preferences, love, insecurities, psychology, the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum are. And a lot of men take advantage of people’s ignorance to enhance their image or ego or bank accounts. Whatever your views of sexuality or love or a healthy relationship are, we have to understand that there is no perfect formula and that sociology and ego will always have an effect on what people do and what they present.