A fan fiction parody, best read in the voice of Jimmy Fowlie doing his impression on TikTok:
(For voice reference here’s one of Jimmie’s TikToks:
jimmyfowlie on TikTok )
It seems like he’s doing all these throwbacks in his IG lately, especially ones that show himself in a good light and being altruistic. Here Scam Cushin’ talks about heading to Buenos Aires, in the footsteps of one of the greatest whores and grifters of all times Eva Peron. I’m sure Scam got to know her through his extensive knowledge of the Madonna canon. One can just imagine his plane touching down on the tarmac as he hums a few bars of “Look Out Buenos Aires” and sings under his breath:
“Your a tramp, your a treat, you will shine to the death, you are shoddy!
But you’re flesh, you are meat, you shall have every breath in my body!
Put me down, for a lifetime of success!
Give me credit, I’ll find ways of paying!
One can imagine Scam wandering about town causally calling it the Big Apple and thinking he’s being an insider, while the people are constantly perplexed about what the hell he’s talking about. Meanwhile, Scam is busy taking selfie after selfie to announce his arrival while singing the chorus:
“Stand back, Buenos Aires!
Because...
You ought to know whatcha gonna get in me!
Just a little touch of...
Just a little touch of....
Just a little touch of star quality!”
Next, just like his idol Evita, Scam heads to a low rent bar to find a man who will pay for a room for the night since he’s new in town, and as he himself admits in his post, planning has never been his forte, and he’s done this all on a whim. Again, girding strength from the musical, Scam, under his breath, repeats the phrase that will become his mantra “You Must Love Me! You Must Love Me!”
Things will go well for young Scam Cushin’ as he takes the town by storm. It’s the start of a new life where his popularity will soar and he launches his career as a social media star and influencer, much in the same way Evita clawed her way to the top using all her petite, blond, buxom shear determination and abilities for unrelenting self promotion. Unfortunately, Scam Cushin’ will not pay heed to the song “High Flying, Adored.”
“High flying, adored
I hope you come to terms with boredom
So famous so easily, so soon
It’s not the wisest thing to be.
You won’t care if they love you
It’s been done before
You’ll despair if they hate you
You’ll be drained of all energy
All the young who made it would agree.”