Sam smith

[gelleg88]

The main problem with Sam is that he is one of the most famous LGBT people in the world and I think he gives us a bad name. I would never misgender a trans person, that would be hugely disrespectful, however, Sam presents as completely male and makes no attempt not to unless performing. He has stubble, wears very masculine clothing etc. The while “they” debacle strikes me as extremely narcissistic and unnecessary. Just because you want to be referred to as “they” it’s not fair to label and harass those who don’t adhere after literally thousands of years of gender norm conditioning. It reeks of self importance to demand such a thing and is in fact grammatically incorrect. His fixation on this topic makes it easy for homophobes to label all gay men as genderless drama queens. This is something many LGBT people have been trying to disprove for years before this became a thing recently. I would understand it more if Sam was androgynous but he’s not. These face value details actually do matter. Not everyone enjoys treading on eggshells over something so insignificant. I do actually really like his music but it’s not fair to label someone a transphobe for not calling a very masculine presenting man “they”.

What an awful take. "I would never misgender a trans person, that would be hugely disrespectful" yet you are intentionally misgendering a non-binary person. Being trans, being non-binary, being intersex, and the like, has NOTHING to do with "how you look." Being trans/non-binary doesn't mean you have to present as some sort of androgynous, half man/half woman or else you aren't being authentic. That's a horrible, damaging attitude to have. You wouldn't tell a gay man that he was a fake gay if he was in baggy jeans, a Nirvana tee shirt and a backwards cap and not a pink polo with his nails painted. Thousands of years of gender norms and heteronormativity are the reason gay people had to fight so hard (and are still fighting so hard) to be accepted. We are on the front lines of trans and non-binary people becoming more mainstream, and there is going to be a learning curve, and as other people in the LGBTQ+ community, we should be the FIRST ones to educate ourselves and welcome these people with open arms, not throw are hands up in the air in confusion and disgust because we may not initially understand it. Non-binary isn't going away just because you don't want to understand it. It's not a fad.

Also, since everyone and their mother love to come to this argument with the "grammatically incorrect" hot take, allow me to educate you. In a scenario where two people are talking.

Person 1: I went to the doctor yesterday.
Person 2: Oh yeah? Why?
Person 1: I've been getting lots of headaches lately.
Person 2: I'm sorry! What did they say?
Person 1: My doctor told me to keep and eye on it and if I still have issues in a week to give them a call.

In this scenario, person 1 did not provide the assumed gender of their doctor. Person 2 referred to the doctor as "they" speaking singularly, not the plural they about multiple people, and the conversation was not a) confusing or b) grammatically incorrect. English users have been using the singular they as long as their has been the English language. It's 100% grammatically correct.

Let's also, in 2020, stop dumbing down ourselves, dulling our shine, or hiding away our queerness in any capacity because "it's easy for the homophobes to hate on us." Queer people should be accepted not by assimilating, but by just being. Now let me get off my soap box but this shit pisses me off to no end.

 

[Chatham]

What an awful take. "I would never misgender a trans person, that would be hugely disrespectful" yet you are intentionally misgendering a non-binary person. Being trans, being non-binary, being intersex, and the like, has NOTHING to do with "how you look." Being trans/non-binary doesn't mean you have to present as some sort of androgynous, half man/half woman or else you aren't being authentic. That's a horrible, damaging attitude to have. You wouldn't tell a gay man that he was a fake gay if he was in baggy jeans, a Nirvana tee shirt and a backwards cap and not a pink polo with his nails painted. Thousands of years of gender norms and heteronormativity are the reason gay people had to fight so hard (and are still fighting so hard) to be accepted. We are on the front lines of trans and non-binary people becoming more mainstream, and there is going to be a learning curve, and as other people in the LGBTQ+ community, we should be the FIRST ones to educate ourselves and welcome these people with open arms, not throw are hands up in the air in confusion and disgust because we may not initially understand it. Non-binary isn't going away just because you don't want to understand it. It's not a fad.

Also, since everyone and their mother love to come to this argument with the "grammatically incorrect" hot take, allow me to educate you. In a scenario where two people are talking.

Person 1: I went to the doctor yesterday.
Person 2: Oh yeah? Why?
Person 1: I've been getting lots of headaches lately.
Person 2: I'm sorry! What did they say?
Person 1: My doctor told me to keep and eye on it and if I still have issues in a week to give them a call.

In this scenario, person 1 did not provide the assumed gender of their doctor. Person 2 referred to the doctor as "they" speaking singularly, not the plural they about multiple people, and the conversation was not a) confusing or b) grammatically incorrect. English users have been using the singular they as long as their has been the English language. It's 100% grammatically correct.

Let's also, in 2020, stop dumbing down ourselves, dulling our shine, or hiding away our queerness in any capacity because "it's easy for the homophobes to hate on us." Queer people should be accepted not by assimilating, but by just being. Now let me get off my soap box but this shit pisses me off to no end.

These are all fair points put across very well. I agree with a lot of what you’re saying. This is a learning curve for me and many other LGBTQ people and I’m trying to be more accepting.

The problem I have is that if you disagree or present a counter argument you’re often labeled as a bigot etc. You’re not exactly doing that explicitly, but I don’t appreciate you calling my comments “awful”. They’re not, they just differ from yours. I see trans people and non-binary quite separately, just as I see sexuality issues differently to body dysmorphia issues. I studied psychology at university so I’ve done my research and that’s my current take. Maybe I’ll change my mind over time but for now that’s how I feel.

That being said, no one should ever dull themselves down or ever feel like they can’t be themselves. As gay men we’ve all experienced that before and I would never treat others as such. It is, however, unrealistic to expect people not to have an opinion that differs from yours.

 

[deleted1149421]

Sam Smith wouldn’t be asking to be called ‘they/them’ if fame wasn’t a factor, that I can guarantee.

 

[BadMan125]

It pays nothing to respect what people are, you know?

 

[Northerner2023]

The main problem with Sam is that he is one of the most famous LGBT people in the world and I think he gives us a bad name. I would never misgender a trans person, that would be hugely disrespectful, however, Sam presents as completely male and makes no attempt not to unless performing. He has stubble, wears very masculine clothing etc. The while “they” debacle strikes me as extremely narcissistic and unnecessary. Just because you want to be referred to as “they” it’s not fair to label and harass those who don’t adhere after literally thousands of years of gender norm conditioning. It reeks of self importance to demand such a thing and is in fact grammatically incorrect. His fixation on this topic makes it easy for homophobes to label all gay men as genderless drama queens. This is something many LGBT people have been trying to disprove for years before this became a thing recently. I would understand it more if Sam was androgynous but he’s not. These face value details actually do matter. Not everyone enjoys treading on eggshells over something so insignificant. I do actually really like his music but it’s not fair to label someone a transphobe for not calling a very masculine presenting man “they”.

You put this perfectly and I agree 100% I also see and recognise trans people differently to "non-binary". I alao find it so offensive when the non binary community try to classify themselves in the same bracket. Gender dysphoria is a recognised condition and needs medical treatment to aliviate the condition its not some made up fad. Sam is a class A narcissist who carves attention of any sort and will do anything to gain it. I also found his attitude around the peak of covid utterly abhorrent taking stages selfie crying outside his mansion about how hard his life is... To me most non-binary people are yesterdays goth/emo kids eventually they will grow out of it.

 

[deleted1149421]

You put this perfectly and I agree 100% I also see and recognise trans people differently to "non-binary". I alao find it so offensive when the non binary community try to classify themselves in the same bracket. Gender dysphoria is a recognised condition and needs medical treatment to aliviate the condition its not some made up fad. Sam is a class A narcissist who carves attention of any sort and will do anything to gain it. I also found his attitude around the peak of covid utterly abhorrent taking stages selfie crying outside his mansion about how hard his life is... To me most non-binary people are yesterdays goth/emo kids eventually they will grow out of it.

Exactly it’s narcissistic, just like the people who try to say you can be trans without being dysphoric are the ones who caused this mess, I blame Tumblr and Twitter.

They’re also the ones calling gays and lesbians transphobic for not wanting to sleep with someone has a ‘girl dick’ or a vagina (depending on respective sexuality.

The same idiots also advocate the knifepoint rape of people who don’t want to sleep with a trans person for having the wrong genitals:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TumblrInAc...urce=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

 

[Northerner2023]

Exactly it’s narcissistic, just like the people who try to say you can be trans without being dysphoric are the ones who caused this mess, I blame Tumblr and Twitter.

They’re also the ones calling gays and lesbians transphobic for not wanting to sleep with someone has a ‘girl dick’ or a vagina (depending on respective sexuality.

The same idiots also advocate the knifepoint rape of people who don’t want to sleep with a trans person for having the wrong genitals:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TumblrInAc...urce=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Well this is where we are at in society unfortunately, only today I was called a white supremacist because i wanted s child killer deported here in the UK we had a 31 year old illegal immigrant with schizophrenia slash the throat of a 7 year old child playing the in park. This is where we are at now facts and having s different opinions are not allowed.

 

[grizzle98]

chile let me unwatch this shit show of a thread...

 

[CanHearTheDrums]

The main problem with Sam is that he is one of the most famous LGBT people in the world and I think he gives us a bad name. I would never misgender a trans person, that would be hugely disrespectful, however, Sam presents as completely male and makes no attempt not to unless performing. He has stubble, wears very masculine clothing etc. The while “they” debacle strikes me as extremely narcissistic and unnecessary. Just because you want to be referred to as “they” it’s not fair to label and harass those who don’t adhere after literally thousands of years of gender norm conditioning. It reeks of self importance to demand such a thing and is in fact grammatically incorrect. His fixation on this topic makes it easy for homophobes to label all gay men as genderless drama queens. This is something many LGBT people have been trying to disprove for years before this became a thing recently. I would understand it more if Sam was androgynous but he’s not. These face value details actually do matter. Not everyone enjoys treading on eggshells over something so insignificant. I do actually really like his music but it’s not fair to label someone a transphobe for not calling a very masculine presenting man “they”.

It literally cost nothing to use their pronouns. We don’t know what their life is like, and it’s just a matter of respect regardless of how they “present”

 

[deleted1149421]

Sam smith isn’t gonna see this thread anyway so who gives a fuck?

And for what it’s worth he looks like a toadfish.

 

[lickthismiff]

Exactly it’s narcissistic, just like the people who try to say you can be trans without being dysphoric are the ones who caused this mess, I blame Tumblr and Twitter.

They’re also the ones calling gays and lesbians transphobic for not wanting to sleep with someone has a ‘girl dick’ or a vagina (depending on respective sexuality.

The same idiots also advocate the knifepoint rape of people who don’t want to sleep with a trans person for having the wrong genitals:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TumblrInAc...urce=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Fucking hell, is there nowhere on the internet free from FARTs and their transphobic bullshit rhetoric?

 

[deleted1149421]

Fucking hell, is there nowhere on the internet free from FARTs and their transphobic bullshit rhetoric?

It’s not transphobic to have a genital preference it’s called a SEXUALITY.

Yes you can change your gender but you cannot erase sexuality no matter how hard you try.

 

[Northerner2023]

Fucking hell, is there nowhere on the internet free from FARTs and their transphobic bullshit rhetoric?

I just want to clarify do you think its transphobic is someone doesn't want to sleep with a trans person just to clarify?

 

[BadMan125]

Anyway, what you guys think about their album? Lol

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Haven't listened to it yet but their current single is the BUSINESS.

 

[Northerner2023]

Anyway, what you guys think about their album? Lol

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Haven't listened to it yet but their current single is the BUSINESS.

For me I won't be playing his music again, he's lost all respectability as an artist

 

[CanHearTheDrums]

Sam smith isn’t gonna see this thread anyway so who gives a fuck?

And for what it’s worth he looks like a toadfish.

Im sure you look beautiful...

 

[BadMan125]

For me I won't be playing his music again, he's lost all respectability as an artist

Rough crowd.

 

[JameySkin]

Lol. I just love their voice and think they’re a normal person with fame who doesn’t always handle it well.

If my life were under a microscope I’d probably be the scourge of the Earth, but really everyone makes mistakes. People need to to learn somehow. Not my place to judge.

I find them attractive because they have a beautiful voice, they’re confident in their body that that they never felt confident in (something I’m always trying to feel myself), and I feel like they would be somewhat real when you strip all the drama away.

 

[JameySkin]

Lol. I just love their voice and think they’re a normal person with fame who doesn’t always handle it well.

If my life were under a microscope I’d probably be the scourge of the Earth, but really everyone makes mistakes. People need to to learn somehow. Not my place to judge.

I find them attractive because they have a beautiful voice, they’re confident in their body that that they never felt confident in (something I’m always trying to feel myself), and I feel like they would be somewhat real when you strip all the drama away.

plus I’m a top soo....

 

[deleted1149421]

Good grief