Even though several years have passed since our spectacularly acrimonious divorce, I can still look back and remember fondly some of the fun times that Lisa and I experienced together.
One of our traditions was to ask each other what fantasy we would like to have realised on our birthdays. In another story – “Be Careful What You Wish For” – I have given an account of what transpired the year I expressed a desire to be ravaged by sex-starved Amazons. Now it’s time to relate what happened the year Lisa said she’d like us to spend an evening with a swingers group.
It should be noted that Lisa’s fantasies often outran her sexual capacity. We would watch porn together occasionally and she’d talk up her plans to do with me whatever we’d seen actors doing on the screen. But somehow we always fell well short of anything remotely inspiring.
Apparently, I was the major obstacle to our sexual happiness. According to Lisa, my dick was too long, too thick and too enthusiastic for comfort. Now, I’m not claiming to be hung like a horse. Believe me, I’m no John Holmes. But nor do I have any cause to dread comparisons in the men’s change-rooms.
Anyway, let’s return to the not-so-distant past; a time when I had a wife who was apt to moan if I fucked too vigorously or too deep. As for oral sex – well, forget it. In the first place she did not enjoy having me go down on her – “undignified” she called it, like dogs sniffing at assholes – and, in the second place, she outright refused to go down on me.
“Gross” was her favourite word where oral sex was concerned, and she had trouble appreciating my foreskin too. Apparently, all the males in her family were cut at birth and she blithely assumed that I’d be happy to undergo the knife too. Maybe I would have if there’d been any guarantee our sex life would improve, but circumcision wasn’t going to make my dick any shorter or slimmer. And my balls would still smell like balls at the end of a long day.
So, there I was with an unsatisfactory sex life. And then – out of the blue – Lisa suggested swinging. I think she hoped that partner-swapping might sap my over-enthusiastic libido. I also think she hoped that mixing with a nice group of people might enable me to see how civilised people copulated; people less animalistic than me. I didn’t really care what the reason was. If I was to be given license to fuck good-looking and horny dames, then that was fine by me.
One of our traditions was to ask each other what fantasy we would like to have realised on our birthdays. In another story – “Be Careful What You Wish For” – I have given an account of what transpired the year I expressed a desire to be ravaged by sex-starved Amazons. Now it’s time to relate what happened the year Lisa said she’d like us to spend an evening with a swingers group.
It should be noted that Lisa’s fantasies often outran her sexual capacity. We would watch porn together occasionally and she’d talk up her plans to do with me whatever we’d seen actors doing on the screen. But somehow we always fell well short of anything remotely inspiring.
Apparently, I was the major obstacle to our sexual happiness. According to Lisa, my dick was too long, too thick and too enthusiastic for comfort. Now, I’m not claiming to be hung like a horse. Believe me, I’m no John Holmes. But nor do I have any cause to dread comparisons in the men’s change-rooms.
Anyway, let’s return to the not-so-distant past; a time when I had a wife who was apt to moan if I fucked too vigorously or too deep. As for oral sex – well, forget it. In the first place she did not enjoy having me go down on her – “undignified” she called it, like dogs sniffing at assholes – and, in the second place, she outright refused to go down on me.
“Gross” was her favourite word where oral sex was concerned, and she had trouble appreciating my foreskin too. Apparently, all the males in her family were cut at birth and she blithely assumed that I’d be happy to undergo the knife too. Maybe I would have if there’d been any guarantee our sex life would improve, but circumcision wasn’t going to make my dick any shorter or slimmer. And my balls would still smell like balls at the end of a long day.
So, there I was with an unsatisfactory sex life. And then – out of the blue – Lisa suggested swinging. I think she hoped that partner-swapping might sap my over-enthusiastic libido. I also think she hoped that mixing with a nice group of people might enable me to see how civilised people copulated; people less animalistic than me. I didn’t really care what the reason was. If I was to be given license to fuck good-looking and horny dames, then that was fine by me.