sex hurting after a period of abstinence

[throbb]

Does having sex after a long break feel like losing your virginity again? Does it hurt? Do you have any advice? Especially if you are 40s or 50s and I especially if you have experience with a larger or very large guy (say 7.5” but not super thick)

My wife says so, and says that especially after a long time it hurts to go for a long time or to plunge deeper. She says it is like losing her virginity again. She wants to have more and more regular sex but finds it very uncomfortable.

This physiological and psychological issue has been a barrier to getting back into more regular activity.

We had long breaks due to being apart, traveling, staying at her mom’s for two months without privacy, etc., and now we are out of practice but having trouble getting over the gumo and getting back into it!

Any advice welcome!

 

[TinyPrincess]

Haven't experienced it - even after going with sex for more than a year. So can't help

 

[Scarletbegonia]

When I got together with my guy, it was like I’d not had sex in a few years.

I was out of condition for positions, had lube inconsistency.

it evened out over a few months.

 

[lilly girl]

Yes. At least for me this is true. My husband was in the military and he left for about a year and during that year I had no sex. He is well endowed and when he came back needless to say we were both eager to get intimate together but I found him painful and quite difficult to accommodate which sadly almost became a complete buzzkill. He had to take me slower and it took about a few weeks for me to get used to him again.

 

[throbb]

Yes. At least for me this is true. My husband was in the military and he left for about a year and during that year I had no sex. He is well endowed and when he came back needless to say we were both eager to get intimate together but I found him painful and quite difficult to accommodate which sadly almost became a complete buzzkill. He had to take me slower and it took about a few weeks for me to get used to him again.

Thank you for your candid and really helpful experience. We're in a cycle of a lot less frequency than that due to fear, and then never getting beyond slow. I'm OK with the slow, but to be honest the lack of frequency is a lot of tension. Of course it's ok for the woman to have absolute control, but it does get frustrating.

 

[ScotGirlJ]

She needs to be practicing with dildos and work her way up in size. She should try it everyday if she can. Lube helps even when we are naturally wet.

 

[ScotGirlJ]

Do you and your wife have a healthy sex life? You seem really frustrated going off of what you're saying in your post history. Do you think you may have a small porn addiction that's been created from sexual frustration? I'm always wary of married straight men who engage sexually with men. There's got to be something missing between you. So maybe this is the issue. Who wants to be the next Mrs Ted Haggard eh? It's seems like 80% of straight men on here are engaging in this way, so it's not that shocking to me now. It would be toxic to see for other married straight women, though. It does create a new standard for hetrosexual dating, though, which I'm not happy with. What girl wants this as their new normal for dating? No one. I hope you fix what needs to be fixed and be honest. Otherwise, it may be better to bow out.