So i need some advice about sexuality

[IceCold617]

I know im a grown man but im seriously confused now. Recently I started having gay thoughts and masturbating to gay porn. like as opposed to exclusively straight porn.
and anyway im starting to get worried that i dont know myself that much anymore, I always knew i was different than most of the guys when i was in high school but i always thought it was because i never had too many guy friends it was always eclipsed by the number of girls that were my friends. ive only dated girls, but after a recent string of bad luck with girls, im starting to question myself. I couldnt date any guys that i know but im seriously confused by my sudden urge to masturbate to gy porn and be with guys as well as girls. Im starting to think i like guys as well but im confused and dont know for sure. literally no one knows this im asking for anyone on lpsg for advice because its anonymous and some people have possibly gone through this

 

[BIGBULL29]

I know im a grown man but im seriously confused now. Recently I started having gay thoughts and masturbating to gay porn. like as opposed to exclusively straight porn.
and anyway im starting to get worried that i dont know myself that much anymore, I always knew i was different than most of the guys when i was in high school but i always thought it was because i never had too many guy friends it was always eclipsed by the number of girls that were my friends. ive only dated girls, but after a recent string of bad luck with girls, im starting to question myself. I couldnt date any guys that i know but im seriously confused by my sudden urge to masturbate to gy porn and be with guys as well as girls. Im starting to think i like guys as well but im confused and dont know for sure. literally no one knows this im asking for anyone on lpsg for advice because its anonymous and some people have possibly gone through this

You're not alone, buddy. We can't choose what we're attracted to, and we can't be happy denying who we are. And only you can figure out who you are. Each person has a sexuality unique to himself, despite his overall orientation. But enjoy your sexuality, no matter what it is. Try not to look at all the negatives of it. And if you should discover you're gay or bisexual at some point, it's really not the big deal you envision it from "now".

Most dudes have some same-sex attraction, despite what they say; however, that doesn't make them all gay.

Best of luck, buddy
BULL:smile:

 

[Bbucko]

The only way to know is to explore. Personally, I'd suggest at least attempting to meet a man whom you find both interesting (mentally/emotionally) and attractive (physically). Take it slow, see how it goes.

And, although I'm no prude or prohibitionist when it comes to anonymous sex, in your case, I'd suggest exploring the intellectual side of same-sex attraction instead of just discovering that a blowjob in a bookstore gets you off: that's not "exploring" whether or not you're bi/gay, it just means you're horny and it's not the same thing.

 

[IceCold617]

well of course its not just the sex for me i want to find someone who actually cares for me. then i can decide wether i like to have sex with men or women.

one of the things that makes this complicated is that i have had like 2 years worth of bad luck dating girls and i dont know wether me questioning my sexuality is just me being depressed and lonely or if i do like guys.
another thing is that i know my family and a lot of people around me wouldnt be ok with me finding a guy to test the waters with.

 

[Corius]

Know what? It will happen for you in somewhat the same way it has happened for people for thousands of years; you will be as prepared as all those before you.

People have always needed people so they reach out in friendship and find quite often that the friendship is reciprocated. When friends become more than just friends they want and need ways to show their affection and that's when the sex happens and for thousands of years people have found that such sex seems so natural and right because it confirms the bond that already exists.

Maybe the OP is one of those lucky persons who will on the journey into the fullness of his sexuality experience loving relationships with both men and women.

By all means, do not be dismayed; things happen for different persons in different ways. Remain open for surprises and cultivate that quality of readiness to recognize the boons (opportunities) that come into life and to grasp hold of them.

P.S. I really don't think you need the porn. Surely your mind can provide you with the necessary images and because they wlll be images close to real life you will be ready to venture forth on that other side of your sexuality as well.

 

[phoenix_blue90]

do you have to tell your friends and family that you're "testing the waters" with a guy? why not embark on that journey on your own? if you're getting to know this side of yourself, then it's probably best you figure it out on your own. that way when you face your family and friends, you will have a pretty good idea of who you are as a person.

also...can you really say that you were different than most guys at your high school because of these feelings? they weren't openly discussed, so maybe some of those guys were feeling the same way? in fact i'm willing to bet they were.

bottom line. sexuality is a continuum. and for many people it's subject to change over time. one of the biggest problems this society has, are the cycle of lies perpetuated from generation to generation, about gender and sexuality. the traditional view of those topics are so backwards it's almost sickening.....

i take that back it is sickening.

 

[IceCold617]

hahahaha thanks guys i couldnt figure out who to talk to. thank god for the good ole internet.

 

[BIGBULL29]

i take that back it is sickening.

It is very sickening. And it stops people from enjoying their lives and leads to real unhappiness.

Everyone has a right to love someone and be loved. Everyone has a right to privacy. Everyone has a right to live in peace.

 

[helgaleena]

OP, just keep an open mind and continue to love yourself. In my experienc the vast majority of people are attracted to both sexes to varying degrees, and very few are '100%' either way.

Odds are that you will find a compatible someone among the females simply because there is more social support for that sort of pairing, so don't rule anything out. Now go and explore. Taking sensible precautions of course.