So it's either gay or straight? No room for bisexuality or pansexuality?

[Sagittarius84]

I understand what you’re saying I’m a black millennial bisexual myself, but like I wasn’t responsible for how poorly the black community deals with sexuality. If anything me being a confident open bisexual should be a positive not a negative.

You're absolutely right, it shouldn't be a negative, but I unfortunately understand why it is perceived as such. There's this ideation; a perception of a lack of masculinity being such a huge issue in our community, that so serves the comforts and egos of its complaintants, nobody dares looks into the hyper masculine expectations of socioeconomics and sexuality that drive the lie.

 

[mikyang]

This post is in response to the countless comments on a content creators sexuality because they post content with both men and women. It was going to be in response to one specific posted comment but I didn't want to single out one person as they are not only person or comment I've seen posted that invalidates bisexuality and pansexuality. Am I alone in thinking this way? Have a read and let me know.

Is it really that black and white? Are we really still operating under the assumption that someone can only have relationships with one gender or the other? Is it not possible for someone to love and be attracted to both men and women? The erasure of bisexual and pansexual identities, especially within the queer community, is frustrating, to say the least.

This constant assumption that all bisexual men are simply "closeted" gay men who haven't come to terms with their true identities drives me crazy. Maybe a gay man or a straight man, much like anyone else, just can't understand the full spectrum of attraction that someone who is bisexual feels—the ability to be drawn to both penises and vaginas, and the pleasures each brings. And if they don't get it? Fine. We all experience attraction differently. But that doesn't give anyone the right to invalidate or minimize someone else’s experience.

The queer community has fought tirelessly for the rights and freedoms we enjoy today. From marriage equality to the ability to live authentically without fear of persecution, the progress we've made has been hard-won. We’ve earned spaces where we can share, talk, and even debate openly about our experiences with sexuality and identity.

But here's the thing: when members of our own community reject or invalidate others based on their sexual identity—whether that's bisexuality, pansexuality, or anything else—it does a disservice to us all. It undermines the very essence of what we’ve been fighting for: acceptance, love, and the freedom to be ourselves, no matter what that looks like.

So, let's stop policing each other's identities. Let's accept, even if we don't always understand. Because the fight for equality and acceptance isn’t just about fighting the outside world—it’s about ensuring that we create spaces where everyone, regardless of their sexual preferences, feels seen, heard, and valued.

We’ve come this far. Let’s not turn on each other now.

my frustration is who gets treated better by the straights the gay/lesbian or the bi?

For example usa got skins the british tv show and the gay character become a lesbian instead of a gay male in high school

 

[mikyang]

I have seen the comments on posts and the back and forth debating someone's sexuality or declaration of sexual identity. Hence this post.

I personally believe that we need to do better at accepting others for who they say they are within the queer community. It's not our place to judge and assign labels. It's hard for many of us to come to a place where we are comfortable and able to acknowledge who we are. We shouldn't have to worry about facing added judgement, ridicule or feel invalidated by others within the community.

Do I think this post is going to change things? Not likely. But maybe, just maybe someone might look at things in a different light as a result.

how how have you experienced hate from the gays and lesbians being bi?

Being bi for woman is so more accepting and being bi straight is wonder. why straight guys are not as threated from bi guys why i dont know

 

[mikyang]

While I understand this, and have personally seen the hatred I'd like to offer something that upsets some gay guys if they get with a bi man.

I'm 22, and really was attracted to this bisexual guy. I have been trying to get a job so I could save money and go see him, as he's still in the states as am I.
He's made it very clear though that he wants to marry a woman. He doesn't want to date men, only get off with them. He wants a family.

Slowly after this, he starts talking less and less. Now in February, there goes weeks and weeks of no response from him. The last time he sent a picture/video, it was another guy sucking him off.

He has a girlfriend now. I'm happy for him, I really am. But I hate to think I was just a reason to get off.
I want to be his friend, I've mentioned tons of times that I wanted to talk more even if not pictures.

I care about him a lot, and I hope he's doing good. But it seems like this happens a lot with gay men when they are involved with bisexual men

see! do you see! he gets triple chocolate chip cookies! he gets to play both cards

 

[mikyang]

There’s room for everything! Not just your thoughts

everything how??


if i was dating a bi guy how would i know he would not have sex with a woman who got beat up and killed not a bi person but gay person matthew sheppard. which bi guy get beat up and murdered tell me at least 10

 

[mikyang]

Human feelings are so complicated. It's strange that we try to capture and label complicated emotions in neat boxes. Human emotions are not a Zen meditation room, but rather a picture of an atomic explosion,

I like male strippers, lesbian porn, eating out pussy, big dick comparison...

All I can tell you is that I seem to have zero interest in transsexual women. LOL.

It's too complicated to express my true sexual feelings, for the most part.

We're constantly forced to believe that we're all this, or we're all that. But that's not how human emotions are. Now, there are men and women who like exclusively one gender for sex. There sexualities are little less complicated, but still complicated when you include their sexual fantasies which they will never act upon.

Interestingly, we're told in our culture that it is women who are more likely to be bisexual --- not men. But a lot of women who play bisexual in porn are just pretending for money. I think bisexuality is way more common among men, if you consider men's natural tastes in porn (men can get a boner from a wall). I also think "gay-for-pay" with males should be considered differently than it is for straight women who engage in lesbian sex on camera for men's pleasure.

More straight men are more curious than eve, and are willing to admit a little gay side now

Just my ideas...

but see??

 

[mikyang]

Not Queer. The people who fought those fights would in all likelihood never want to be referred to as Queer. That is A SLUR.

It was the LGBT and by T I mean OG T. Not to be confused with a 50 year old straight man who wants to play dress up, or a 15 year old straight girl with purple hair who is collecting pronouns like Pokemons.

As I said never Queer. And don't forget that.

All these intrusive "identities" are just there to muddy the water and do not represent us. Like "pansexuality", what a joke. It's in the name - panSEXuality. No need for fake nuance.

see it is a slur but its like saying the n word to blacks and yet here we are saying the q word meaning is encompassess us how? i am gay not q

 

[mikyang]

We have identified irrevocably 2 human sexes - defined by their gametes and chromosomes. Sex is a physical act. Human sexuality is sex between the sexes of the human species. The possible variations are 3, 4 if you want to include the negative Asexuality.

Do I need to be a Rocket Scientist to know what a rocket is? No. I just need a working brain and eyes. But lucky for me, this nonsense has been scrutinized by career scientists and experts, and we happen to agree on the same conclusions.

So enough of your word gymnastics. Have a seat.

but when did you know your were gay bi trans how can anybody as young as 10 know who they are? 10

 

[mikyang]

As the original poster of this thread I find it interesting to see where this thread has gone. It’s interesting to see the different interpretations of what I posted.

It’s gotten a lot deeper than I expected and on a whole other level that wasn’t what I intended. But I am enjoying reading everyone’s comments and thoughts.

Simply put my original post was more about reading and hearing gay men (my experience) say that a bisexual man needs to choose - either gay or straight. It’s that kind of thinking that I think needs to change. It’s less to do with labels and more in just accepting other people as they are. You don’t need to understand it.

Personally I don’t understand the struggles of a trans person. I’d be wrong to minimize their struggles and identity. Or to say that they have only become trans because they are or have become intimate with another trans person.

Comments like this - “I 100% blame his ex for turning him straight!” or “I think most of us have know a gay guy (out or not) who “turned” straight for whatever reason, and that it doesn’t turn out well. There are lots of gay guys who marry women and breed with them in hopes of becoming “normal” to please their families and friends, and there’s no way they’re happy.
Models name is obviously gay, even his girlfriend must know that he gets it on with a guy(s), and some females are actually okay with this. My guess is that it’s an open relationship, she likely has a boyfriend or girlfriend on the side. But no matter how hard he might try to convince himself that he’s straight, he’s going to REALLY miss having a big beautiful dick to suck on.”

These comments are from this site and are common place and in my opinion delegitimization bisexuality. Why can’t people just accept that some of us like tacos as much as eggplant/aubergine? But I think we can all agree there’s nothing like a nice juicy peach.

then why get married?? why not have an open relationship

 

[mikyang]

Yes, words take a bit to express things. One thing I do when I get comments about gender and sexuality is ask them what THEY consider themselves. I find there are more spirited debates among those that don't use/accept LPSG's sexuality/gender profiles.

Like I said, I'm a male that enjoys some dick. But my romance and emotional attachments are for women only. I don't think I'm rare in this regard. So I decided to put 70/30 for straight/gay. It may be more complicated for others.

see you use gay guys to suck your dick! you cant see how damaging it is to be in love with another guy just get on your knees and suck off. you would never consider anal sex god forbade

 

[mikyang]

The number of guys around my are that list their Sniffies profile as "straight" is not small.

why did you think otherwise they are hiding among the gays saying bi not being gay

 

[mikyang]

Some men go play golf... Some men go get their dick's sucked by other men.

and do they do the sucking at times or is it just the gay guys

 

[WilliamG]

see you use gay guys to suck your dick! you cant see how damaging it is to be in love with another guy just get on your knees and suck off. you would never consider anal sex god forbade

???
I usually do the sucking. And I like to bottom. And yes... No one involved is "in love" in my situations.