Songs for the Well-Endowed
- Thread starter Ecchi
- Start date
the only one that springs immediately to my mind is nurture my pig by the reverend horton heat
pretty much any lame gangsta rap song from the past 10 years will include at least one reference to the size of the performer's endowment, but I think that might be more of a compensation issue
pretty much any lame gangsta rap song from the past 10 years will include at least one reference to the size of the performer's endowment, but I think that might be more of a compensation issue
I'd throw in one of my former ex-g/f's favorite songs: "Size Queen", by Betty Blowtorch. Just looked it up on the net, contains phrases like (in excerpts):
"If you're wondering who I am
Well I'm a girl who can handle a man
I don't have time for little boys
I want a man with man size toys
I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me
I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me"
"Yo, I'm Vanilla Ice and I'll be your dream
So won't you open up your legs and I'll make you cream
Just like a waterfall
You know I got it all
A long white dick almost ten inches tall
Pull it out and I'll be the judge
I'll let you know if you're well-hung
I'll feel you up and I'll check for size
If it's puny don't waste my time"
"Oh, yeah...stick it in..."
"If you're wondering who I am
Well I'm a girl who can handle a man
I don't have time for little boys
I want a man with man size toys
I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me
I am a size queen, down and dirty, just give it to me"
"Yo, I'm Vanilla Ice and I'll be your dream
So won't you open up your legs and I'll make you cream
Just like a waterfall
You know I got it all
A long white dick almost ten inches tall
Pull it out and I'll be the judge
I'll let you know if you're well-hung
I'll feel you up and I'll check for size
If it's puny don't waste my time"
"Oh, yeah...stick it in..."
Would AC\Dc's "Big Balls" count?
I'm upper, upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
All the social papers say I've got the biggest balls of all
CHORUS
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!
CHORUS
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure,
They're the balls that I like best.
And my balls are always bouncing,
To the left and to the right.
It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night.
CHORUS
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh, we have such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail
Crabs
Crayfish
I'm upper, upper class high society
God's gift to ballroom notoriety
And I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
All the social papers say I've got the biggest balls of all
CHORUS
I've got big balls
I've got big balls
And they're such big balls
Dirty big balls
And he's got big balls,
And she's got big balls,
But we've got the biggest balls of them all!
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody comes and comes again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!
CHORUS
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when they're held for pleasure,
They're the balls that I like best.
And my balls are always bouncing,
To the left and to the right.
It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night.
CHORUS
And I'm just itching to tell you about them
Oh, we have such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail
Crabs
Crayfish
Of course. Rap is pretty much full-blown testosterone in a musical form (which explains why 99% of female emcees are cursed and hated). It's a man grunting over a sparse drumbeat about drugs, vagina and guns. Its roots lie in the very core of Africa and expose the thought process of the original man.Originally posted by Dr Rock
pretty much any lame gangsta rap song from the past 10 years will include at least one reference to the size of the performer's endowment, but I think that might be more of a compensation issue
Down the road there lived a man I'd like you all to know,
He grew a great big marrow for the local flower show.
When the story got around they came from far and wide,
And when they caught a sight of it, this is what they cried:
Oh, what a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before!
Oh, what a beauty, it must be two foot long or even more!
It's such a lovely colour and nice and round and fat,
I never thought a marrow could grow as big as that!
Oh! What a beauty! I've never seen one as big as that before!
He was leaning on the garden gate the other day,
And beckoned to a lady who lived across the way,
He led her up the garden path and showed it her with pride,
And when she saw the size of it the little lady sighed:
Oh, what a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before!
Oh, what a beauty, it must be two foot long or even more!
It's such a lovely colour and nice and round and fat,
I never thought a marrow could grow as big as that!
Oh! What a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before,
I mean me marrow! I've never seen one as big as that before.
He grew a great big marrow for the local flower show.
When the story got around they came from far and wide,
And when they caught a sight of it, this is what they cried:
Oh, what a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before!
Oh, what a beauty, it must be two foot long or even more!
It's such a lovely colour and nice and round and fat,
I never thought a marrow could grow as big as that!
Oh! What a beauty! I've never seen one as big as that before!
He was leaning on the garden gate the other day,
And beckoned to a lady who lived across the way,
He led her up the garden path and showed it her with pride,
And when she saw the size of it the little lady sighed:
Oh, what a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before!
Oh, what a beauty, it must be two foot long or even more!
It's such a lovely colour and nice and round and fat,
I never thought a marrow could grow as big as that!
Oh! What a beauty, I've never seen one as big as that before,
I mean me marrow! I've never seen one as big as that before.
bzyrch: This part of "Ball And Biscuit" by The White Stripes is thought to be a veiled reference to lead singer Jack's rumored endowment:
Read it in the newspaper
ask your girlfriends and see if they know
that my strength is ten fold woman
I'll let you see it if you want before you go
Read it in the newspaper
ask your girlfriends and see if they know
that my strength is ten fold woman
I'll let you see it if you want before you go
Pansy Division did a song called "Dick of Death" which fits pretty well.
"When i met him he was nice enough
for a shot man trying to act real tough in a bar
That kind of attitude won't get you very far
His shirt was open and i saw his chest
a salt-and-pepper, soft and furry mess
You know how that turns me on
Then he took my hand
and ran it over the outline in his pants
He had the dick of death
And so i closed my eyes
and tried to fantasize about this dick of death
We grabbed a cab and went away to my place where we
dropped our clothes so fast you'd think we were racing
I couldn't wait to see it for myself
There it was, staring up at at me
Long and perfect, boy, was i ever lucky
He kissed me and we fell down on the bed
Then he took my hand
And let me guide him into my promised land
He had the dick of death
I looked into his eyes
And let him sodomize me with his dick of death
I'd never seen one
Quite this big before
When he's soft he's nearly
Hung down to the floor
I don't know if i love him
but i love his dick of death."
They're a great band. Imagine a gay Green Day/Smiths hybrid.
"When i met him he was nice enough
for a shot man trying to act real tough in a bar
That kind of attitude won't get you very far
His shirt was open and i saw his chest
a salt-and-pepper, soft and furry mess
You know how that turns me on
Then he took my hand
and ran it over the outline in his pants
He had the dick of death
And so i closed my eyes
and tried to fantasize about this dick of death
We grabbed a cab and went away to my place where we
dropped our clothes so fast you'd think we were racing
I couldn't wait to see it for myself
There it was, staring up at at me
Long and perfect, boy, was i ever lucky
He kissed me and we fell down on the bed
Then he took my hand
And let me guide him into my promised land
He had the dick of death
I looked into his eyes
And let him sodomize me with his dick of death
I'd never seen one
Quite this big before
When he's soft he's nearly
Hung down to the floor
I don't know if i love him
but i love his dick of death."
They're a great band. Imagine a gay Green Day/Smiths hybrid.
Shelby
Experimental Member
FRANK ZAPPA and THE MOTHERS OF INVENTION
BWANA DICK
My God, Madge... you voluptuous New York City slit...
Why did'nt you tell me before?
It was so hard to tell with your little blousey-poo on,
but.. now that I see you... I would have helped...
I didn't know you were so obviously.. PREGNANT...
I've got the thing you need
I am endowed beyound your wildest
Clearasil-spattered fantasies, oh oh oh..
Girls from all over the world
Love to write my name on the toilet walls
At the Whisky a Go Go
For I am Bwana Dik
I am Bwana Dik
Me Bwana Dik
Me Bwana Dik
My dick is a monster
Give me your heart
My dick is a Harley
You kick it to start
(Chorus line) When Bwana Dik speaks
The heavens will part
My dick is a dagger
I'll force it to fit
My dick is a reamer, Baby
To scream up your slit
Steam it! Ream it! cream it!
BWANA DICK
My God, Madge... you voluptuous New York City slit...
Why did'nt you tell me before?
It was so hard to tell with your little blousey-poo on,
but.. now that I see you... I would have helped...
I didn't know you were so obviously.. PREGNANT...
I've got the thing you need
I am endowed beyound your wildest
Clearasil-spattered fantasies, oh oh oh..
Girls from all over the world
Love to write my name on the toilet walls
At the Whisky a Go Go
For I am Bwana Dik
I am Bwana Dik
Me Bwana Dik
Me Bwana Dik
My dick is a monster
Give me your heart
My dick is a Harley
You kick it to start
(Chorus line) When Bwana Dik speaks
The heavens will part
My dick is a dagger
I'll force it to fit
My dick is a reamer, Baby
To scream up your slit
Steam it! Ream it! cream it!
This is so obvious, people. Cover song by Aerosmith.
Got me the strangest woman
Believe it, this chick's no sinch
When I wanna get her goin'
Then I whip out my Big Ten Inch
Record of the band that plays the blues
Well the band that plays the blues
She just loved my Big Ten Inch
Record of her favorite blues
Last night I tried to tease her
I gave my love a little pinch
But she said now stop that jivin
and whip out your big ten-inch
Record of the band that plays the blues
Well the band that plays the blues
She just loved my Big Ten Inch
Record of her favorite blues
I'll cover her with kisses
and when we're in a lover's clinch
she gets all excited
when she puts on my big ten-inch
Record of the band that plays the blues
Well the band that plays the blues
She just loved my Big Ten Inch
Record of her favorite blues
My gal don't go smokin'
and liquor just makes her flinch
Seems she don't go for nothin'
'cept for my big ten-inch
Record of the band that plays the blues
Band that plays the blues
She just loved my Big Ten Inch
Record of her favorite blues
Got me the strangest woman
Believe it, this chick's no sinch
When I wanna get her goin'
Then I whip out my Big Ten Inch
Record of the band that plays the blues
Well the band that plays the blues
She just loved my Big Ten Inch
Record of her favorite blues
Last night I tried to tease her
I gave my love a little pinch
But she said now stop that jivin
and whip out your big ten-inch
Record of the band that plays the blues
Well the band that plays the blues
She just loved my Big Ten Inch
Record of her favorite blues
I'll cover her with kisses
and when we're in a lover's clinch
she gets all excited
when she puts on my big ten-inch
Record of the band that plays the blues
Well the band that plays the blues
She just loved my Big Ten Inch
Record of her favorite blues
My gal don't go smokin'
and liquor just makes her flinch
Seems she don't go for nothin'
'cept for my big ten-inch
Record of the band that plays the blues
Band that plays the blues
She just loved my Big Ten Inch
Record of her favorite blues
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