How do I deal with a 16 year olds blatent advances. Do I address them to his parents or do I confront him with another trusted adult? Help me please.
Strange situation..
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B_Think_Kink
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I would tell him straight up that his advances are unwanted and try and remove the child from your life.
Not my kid, Family relative.
Sitting in front of me, Pulls his shorts aside, Full frontal package shot. Came into shower room asked me what it was like to have another guy suck your cock.
Sitting in front of me, Pulls his shorts aside, Full frontal package shot. Came into shower room asked me what it was like to have another guy suck your cock.
I say confront him with another trusted adult with you or, at least, in a fairly public place. His parents could be complete assholes about the gay thing and I think he'll take you more seriously with less sense of rejection if you address him man-to-man. Don't be a dick about it though. Tell him you're flattered and that you like him but, "not in that way," and you suggest he stick to guys near his own age. Teens hate being patronized so don't do it, but do try to be as empathetic and sincere as you can. If you bring a friend with you, a good idea I think, have the friend hang back out of earshot.
It may well be he's just looking for a mentor in which case you may want to help him out. I don't know what circumstances bring you into contact with him, but be aware of any potential legal prohibitions if you're in a position of authority over him. Mentoring kids is a great thing to do however I believe it's best to always keep it above board and with the full knowledge of the parents. The last thing you need is to have a couple of homophobic parents wondering why an adult gay man is hanging out with their 16 year old gay son. Many people are all too ready to find evil where ever their prurient minds search for it.
Honi soit qui mal y pense.
It may well be he's just looking for a mentor in which case you may want to help him out. I don't know what circumstances bring you into contact with him, but be aware of any potential legal prohibitions if you're in a position of authority over him. Mentoring kids is a great thing to do however I believe it's best to always keep it above board and with the full knowledge of the parents. The last thing you need is to have a couple of homophobic parents wondering why an adult gay man is hanging out with their 16 year old gay son. Many people are all too ready to find evil where ever their prurient minds search for it.
Honi soit qui mal y pense.
Family gathering, Never see him outside a group setting. I am aware of the legal issue. It freaked me out. I like that advice Jason.
K, this posted after I started my reply.
I think you have a great opportunity to help your nephew or cousin. If he's doing shit that awkward around you then he'll need all the help he can get. Talk to him straight-up and let him know that behavior's not cool with you and never will be. Also tell him though that if he needs a friend who is also gay and could show him the ropes (age appropriately) then you'd be happy help. Tell him not to be embarrassed about what he did because you were 16 too and did some crazy things and those incidents will be considered forgotten. Tell him there's a whole great world of guys out there for him and that you'll be happy to help him out. It's very rough being gay and young and if this kid has a brain at all, he'll jump at the chance to learn from you.
Are his parents cool about this you think or are they uptight? Do they even know? If he's thinking about coming out, you could be just the right guy to help him do it.
BigDallasDick8x6
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Make sure you are NEVER alone with him. If you're in a room by yourself and he comes in, LEAVE!! He tells a lie, and you go to jail. Don't put yourself in that position.
And WHY was the shower room unlocked?? Doesn't sound like you're taking reasonable precautions. Did he see you naked? If he saw a tatoo or birthmark and lies that you had sex with him, he can testify to the markings (a la the Michael Jackson trial) in your private areas to bolster his claim. That would look really bad for you in front of a jury.
Don't mean to scare you but the environment of hysteria we are in about sex with underage kids (not that that isn't a serious problem) calls for caution. I know teachers now that won't hug kids when they are crying because of legal concerns. What a shame things have gotten so nuts, but they have. You are the one who has to protect yourself -- no one else will.
Good luck.
Are you familiar with the Lillian Hellman play, "The Children's Hour"? I concur with the last writers advice. But I would have the adult friend well within earshot!! I agree that you should not be patronizing with a 16 year old. But, I am also very much aware of the games teen-agers like to play. At times, they can be very VERY vicious. Under no circumstances should you talk to this young man alone. In the future, I would avoid all situations where there is the chance that you will be alone with him. I doubt that it would be wise to say anything to his parents.
Group mens shower/changing room. No, was not naked. Have NEVER been alone with him. That is why I freaked out. I don't want any problems.
Geez, sounds like I hang out with a better class of kids. My young cousins genuinely like me and will tell me, and few other of my cousins, just about anything they won't tell their parents. We get along really well and I know they wouldn't do that to me (most can't now as they're mostly 18 or over, but I've been one of, "the cool uncles," for a long time now). You can't live in fear and particularly not when a family member needs help.
Ed69
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- Ed69,
Yes you can live in fear,I won't spend a moment in a cage fore family.
I have my own to take care of now and that's all that matters!
Aye aye aye... touchy subject.
On one hand, at 16 he's more than old enough to know what he wants. And he knows he can't get it. He's curious. He's horny.
Ain't society cruel?! ;-)
You however are an adult.
No matter what, society and the law say that you are the responsible one. You are the one with better judgment than the kid.
For the next two years do not allow yourself to be alone with this kid.
Not for the kid's protection.
But for yours.
This has very little to do with your family and everything to do with the law.
Now, when the kid turns 18 if you and he want to celebrate like there's no tomorrow then have at it. I'd wait until the day after though just to be on the safe side.
(Not that I was getting any vibes that you ever were planning on doing anything anyways.)
He could be goating you. He could genuinely be nervous. He could be helping his dad out with a mean trick to "fuck with the fag in the family". You never know.
On one hand, at 16 he's more than old enough to know what he wants. And he knows he can't get it. He's curious. He's horny.
Ain't society cruel?! ;-)
You however are an adult.
No matter what, society and the law say that you are the responsible one. You are the one with better judgment than the kid.
For the next two years do not allow yourself to be alone with this kid.
Not for the kid's protection.
But for yours.
This has very little to do with your family and everything to do with the law.
Now, when the kid turns 18 if you and he want to celebrate like there's no tomorrow then have at it. I'd wait until the day after though just to be on the safe side.
(Not that I was getting any vibes that you ever were planning on doing anything anyways.)
He could be goating you. He could genuinely be nervous. He could be helping his dad out with a mean trick to "fuck with the fag in the family". You never know.
My advice: RUN the hell away from him. Don't even confront him. You'll end up being labeled a gay pervert. You can't afford that label unless you're leaving town (preferably going overseas).
Years ago, you could confront the kid and tell him to knock it hell off and fuck around with kids his own age. But, not in today's USA. People would think that any such discussion initiated by the adult male being seduced or harassed by the teenager would somehow imply that it was all the adult's doing as he was the one who was really "into" the kid. You'd be forever a pervert and possibly need to be registered as a sex offender after having served a jail sentence.
Society is so sick and twisted: It encourages teenie-bopper girls to look all sexual in their cheerleader outfits at the high school football game, but an adult man dare not confront a teenager for acting sexually inappropriate with him (the fact that its gay in nature even makes the man look even more perverted)
Je ne puis pas penser à une expression plus heureuse que celle qui suit: Honi soit qui mal y pense (merci mon cher ami, Jason:smile
Translation = Shameful is he who thinks any evil of it
Years ago, you could confront the kid and tell him to knock it hell off and fuck around with kids his own age. But, not in today's USA. People would think that any such discussion initiated by the adult male being seduced or harassed by the teenager would somehow imply that it was all the adult's doing as he was the one who was really "into" the kid. You'd be forever a pervert and possibly need to be registered as a sex offender after having served a jail sentence.
Society is so sick and twisted: It encourages teenie-bopper girls to look all sexual in their cheerleader outfits at the high school football game, but an adult man dare not confront a teenager for acting sexually inappropriate with him (the fact that its gay in nature even makes the man look even more perverted
)Je ne puis pas penser à une expression plus heureuse que celle qui suit: Honi soit qui mal y pense (merci mon cher ami, Jason:smile
Translation = Shameful is he who thinks any evil of it
Quite Irate
Sexy Member
I tend to agree wholeheartedly with BigDallasDick8x6. I work in a juvenile detention center and as a rule, if a kid shows any interest like that in you, You should never be alone in a situation with that resident. Always try to have another staff member with you or at least three other residents.
Trying to talk with this kid, alone, could end up a disaster for you. I would also speak with his parents if possible and even at that point I would have another person with me, in case things get a little out of hand.
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