ok ladie please tell what the friend zone is , why u have one and what make u put a guy int the friend zone
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For me: I consider the friend zone to be when I have become very comfortable with a man. I can talk to him about life in general, some serious topics, some silly topics, and yes even the general topic of sex. But, because we are such good friends (and becasue I am married) I'd never ... EVER ... consider having sex with him.
It is personal for me, and rather complicated. It's not something I just "developed" and said "he goes into the friend zone" .... but .. when I think of friend zone, this is what I think of. Just a really great guy, but not one that I'd have any sexual attraction towards.
edit: This does not mean to imply that the person is unattractive or anything. He could be the sexiest guy on the planet, but I'd have no attraction towards him for reasons on my own. I can admire beauty without a desire to have sex with him.
It is personal for me, and rather complicated. It's not something I just "developed" and said "he goes into the friend zone" .... but .. when I think of friend zone, this is what I think of. Just a really great guy, but not one that I'd have any sexual attraction towards.
edit: This does not mean to imply that the person is unattractive or anything. He could be the sexiest guy on the planet, but I'd have no attraction towards him for reasons on my own. I can admire beauty without a desire to have sex with him.
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fluffychocolate
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Truly! Their friendzone thread was really eye opening in how they view it. Never once do they consider the concept that perhaps being in the friendzone is a good thing. I have men and WOMEN in the friendzone. If you are my friend then I like you and will be there for you in good times and bad. With enough alcohol in my system I might be induced to commit a few petty crimes with you. Only might. :biggrin1: Being in the friendzone is only a bad thing if the only reason you are interested in me is to have sex with me. I don't have sex with friends. :shrug: It just works out better for me that way.
fluffychocolate
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My bad, it wasn't in the men's section at all but here. http://www.lpsg.com/166151-the-friend-zone.html
B_ILIW
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er... a zone in like how they put General Zod?
er.. it's just sectioning off people into zones of dateability. it's normal. not every woman I meet and become friends with I would want to date, for various reasons. Could be looks, character/personality, interests, goals, what have you. Men and women who complain about the friendzone IMO have false entitlements. Human beings aren't entitled to anything in life.
er.. it's just sectioning off people into zones of dateability. it's normal. not every woman I meet and become friends with I would want to date, for various reasons. Could be looks, character/personality, interests, goals, what have you. Men and women who complain about the friendzone IMO have false entitlements. Human beings aren't entitled to anything in life.
I don't really use the term, but there are guys who I'm friends with where I don't think we would be a good fit romantically. Some guys use the term like it's some scary netherworld you get exiled to, but all it really is is some people you just connect with as friends. Doesn't mean you did anything wrong.
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B_ILIW
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fluffychocolate
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That is pretty much my feeling on the whiners.
er... a zone in like how they put General Zod?
er.. it's just sectioning off people into zones of dateability. it's normal. not every woman I meet and become friends with I would want to date, for various reasons. Could be looks, character/personality, interests, goals, what have you. Men and women who complain about the friendzone IMO have false entitlements. Human beings aren't entitled to anything in life.
I disagree. I have many male friends who are very attractive, and if I weren't in a committed relationship I might want to be more than friends with them. I happen to value my partner much more.
Yeah but for people who use the term "friend zone" (guys), I don't think this is what they mean. I think most people understand that if you're in a relationship you aren't going to get with them because you're in a relationship. When people say friend "zone" I think they mean that you're seemingly available, are friendly with them but not interested in being more than friends.
Like I said in the other topic (if I remember right)
It's understandable that people who have their feelings of attraction rejected will be upset about it. It's especially upsetting if you still hang around them as friends with you're underlying emotions being denied.
People get upset when someone they like reject them. People get more upset when that person they like still exists in their lives. It's almost like their feelings are being taunted and teased.
It's not anyone's fault. But I do think people have the right to feel upset when they want a romantic or sexual relationship with someone and are rejected. Feelings sometimes don't go away.
Some women and men might say "That person should be HAPPY that we're still friends! How dare he expect sex from me!" But this is somewhat warped perception of the ideas of attraction and rejection. It's not a "sense of entitlement" that makes someone whine about being in friendzone. It's having strong feelings for someone and having those feelings crushed.
It's understandable that people who have their feelings of attraction rejected will be upset about it. It's especially upsetting if you still hang around them as friends with you're underlying emotions being denied.
People get upset when someone they like reject them. People get more upset when that person they like still exists in their lives. It's almost like their feelings are being taunted and teased.
It's not anyone's fault. But I do think people have the right to feel upset when they want a romantic or sexual relationship with someone and are rejected. Feelings sometimes don't go away.
Some women and men might say "That person should be HAPPY that we're still friends! How dare he expect sex from me!" But this is somewhat warped perception of the ideas of attraction and rejection. It's not a "sense of entitlement" that makes someone whine about being in friendzone. It's having strong feelings for someone and having those feelings crushed.
fluffychocolate
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First, any man or woman who say the highlighted is not a nice person and the person crushing on them should really reevaluate their reasoning for keeping them in their lives at all.
Second, the person whose feelings are not returned has a right to their feelings but they shouldn't be lingering in them. If they are having a hard time moving from romantic feelings to friendship then a friendship may be out of the question and they should sever all ties with that person so that they can move on. That is the healthy thing to do.
I have both been friendzoned and done the friendzoning. It isn't easy on either side of it but guess what? A healthy well adjusted person gets over it and moves on and finds new love interests. There are seven billion people on this planet. There are plenty of them out there that will like/love/sex you if you go looking for them.
Second, the person whose feelings are not returned has a right to their feelings but they shouldn't be lingering in them. If they are having a hard time moving from romantic feelings to friendship then a friendship may be out of the question and they should sever all ties with that person so that they can move on. That is the healthy thing to do.
I have both been friendzoned and done the friendzoning. It isn't easy on either side of it but guess what? A healthy well adjusted person gets over it and moves on and finds new love interests. There are seven billion people on this planet. There are plenty of them out there that will like/love/sex you if you go looking for them.
B_ILIW
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People can feel what they want.
But then why is the friendzoned party right and the object of desire the wrong party? S/he obviously doesn't care for his or her friend in a romantic way, and has every right to choose not to. I think more often than not, the object of desire knows or can sense it, but doesn't want to say "no" since they fear the end of the friendship.
I guess my own subjective view is that we shouldn't expect anything from anybody, we have our own norms, rules and thinking for practically any action or feeling. If I were friendzoned, I'd get over it and use that as a spur to find somebody else. As Lisa Simpson said to Homer Simpson, the Chinese use the same word for crisis and opportunity....
nicenycdick
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You've really got it all wrong. There are many things that go into being friends and just as many that go into being lovers. Those things, however, are different, but neither is the lesser of the other. I have to say that some of my best relationships with women have been as friends and not as lovers. If you are lucky, you will find the one that is both...that's the keeper!
I hate to say it, but only insecure people look at it that way. "Good" has nothing to do with it. Life has no objective rating system. There has a to be a connection and compatibility, and people are attracted to different qualities. Someone could be perfectly "good" and just not be for me.
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