Thoughts On Polyamory?
- Thread starter Ddrkid
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I am polyamerous with two partners right now, and it's worked beautifully for over a year now.
When I was younger I would never have considered it an option. At this point in my life, perhaps in theory it's OK for people who would get into that.
Thing is (for me anyway), I'm just not into the whole partnership thing and the strings attached stuff that comes with that. I enjoy sex but do not want the 24/7 partner(s) around. Just not part of what I would want now. Perhaps I just love my independence too much. The idea works for me if those involved are cool with it though.
Thing is (for me anyway), I'm just not into the whole partnership thing and the strings attached stuff that comes with that. I enjoy sex but do not want the 24/7 partner(s) around. Just not part of what I would want now. Perhaps I just love my independence too much. The idea works for me if those involved are cool with it though.
For me and my partners, it is ALL about the emotional support and comfort; the sex comes second. Sure, the physical relationships are great, but for the three of us it is entirely about the psychological and emotional support primarily.
I totally 'get' that. I guess I am blessed to have great friends who provide support. Honestly, I understand what you are saying. The situation is working for you and it's great!
Don't get me wrong though, the sex is also important, and amazing, lol
When I was single (gay man here) I was all about spreading it around but now that I am married I do not have time to rent, subsidize or jeopardize my relationship...
Tried it once and I found it remarkably easy, though I get jealous a lot. But in this case it went sour pretty quickly. Turns out one of the partners was a narcissist and the other borderline psycho. They really deserved each other. At first I was hurt a lot, loosjng my partners and my friends. Now I’m in a relationship with a very caring guy and it made me realise that instead of double the love I got double the madness.
I would certainly by open to polyamoury again, but I am very careful about choosing new friends, let alone romantic partners, after this whole experience.
I would certainly by open to polyamoury again, but I am very careful about choosing new friends, let alone romantic partners, after this whole experience.
Obscure fact: the inventor of Wonder Woman (who was created as a statement on women's rights) lived with his wife and a female grad student for many years in a polyamorous relationship They passed off the student as a live-in maid. Seemed to work, and it fit into their general attitude that society doesn't get to tell us what to do.
Polyamory is not for the faint of heart. It takes a lot of work and is a constant exercise in transparency and openness. I've found it generally easy to navigate, but I've experienced some people who were in it for the wrong reasons (ie. not feeling guilt for cheating, trying to save their failing relationship). It definitely is possible if everyone is on the same page about it, but for those who view it as a solution and not a lifestyle I'm afraid they might have difficulty making it work.
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i'm for it but the wife won't touch it. she has not issues fucking other people but letting other people into our personal life is a big no-no for her. for her, she's too jealous and not willing to share my connection with her. yea, we fuck other people but she knows that i will always be there for her and i only love her... this deep personal connection is not something she can share. i can understand where she's coming from and respect that.
i, on the other hand, have no issues connecting with more than one person assuming the other person can do it as well. it's gotta come full circle or forget it. it's unfortunate that a lot of people in this community try to go poly for the wrong reasons (financial gain, sexual explorations, etc.). as @bucknaked9 said, it's very HARD. if it was easy, more people would be doing it.
when i speak with my buddies about it, i always make the same joke over and over: "you want to have 2 wives? goodness, i can barely deal with 1 and you want 2!?"... haha... most people only see the positive side of poly and the benefits but they don't realize that the bad comes with it too... and don't even get me started on MMF vs MFF dynamics.
i, on the other hand, have no issues connecting with more than one person assuming the other person can do it as well. it's gotta come full circle or forget it. it's unfortunate that a lot of people in this community try to go poly for the wrong reasons (financial gain, sexual explorations, etc.). as @bucknaked9 said, it's very HARD. if it was easy, more people would be doing it.
when i speak with my buddies about it, i always make the same joke over and over: "you want to have 2 wives? goodness, i can barely deal with 1 and you want 2!?"... haha... most people only see the positive side of poly and the benefits but they don't realize that the bad comes with it too... and don't even get me started on MMF vs MFF dynamics.
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