Any one in a relationship with some who drinks every night? My partner drinks every night and I’m at my ropes end. Would like to hear how others have dealt with this.
Troubled Relationship...
- Thread starter erpap
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cedarizzo
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My 2nd bf had a really need drinking problem. He would get drunk every night. It would be so bad that a lot of times he wasn't able to remember what happened the next day. He would pass out on a futon in the basement, usually with a lit cigarette and the radio on full blast. I could always tell when he passed out because he would fall over and pull the headphone cord out of the radio. I would go down there, turn the radio off and make sure he didn't hurt himself and that his cigarette was out. This happened most nights, the other nights he would get drunk but would still sleep in bed with me.
The current boyfriend drinks every day, but he doesn't get drunk. If he works that day, the drinking starts after work. But if he is off, the drinking will start before noon. Because of the 2nd bf's behavior, the current bf's drinking used to bother me. But after 12 years, I guess I've gotten used to it.
The current boyfriend drinks every day, but he doesn't get drunk. If he works that day, the drinking starts after work. But if he is off, the drinking will start before noon. Because of the 2nd bf's behavior, the current bf's drinking used to bother me. But after 12 years, I guess I've gotten used to it.
I am a recovering alcoholic (37 years sober) and my husband (of now 33 years) had never seemed to have a drinking problem until the pandemic isolation happened. He is quite disabled, on crutches or In a wheelchair for 20+ years, so compromising his awareness of how he moves has never been a good idea. But with the isolation of Covid, and me still working full time, he was bored and depressed so a nice glass of gin every night seemed like a good idea to him. But then some nights there were refills, other nights there was wine or beer with dinner.
All of this for someone who's not only disabled but also on major pain management meds which ALL say, "Do not drink alcohol while using this medication."
Last summer, he was falling literally every day, sometimes multiple times per day, and his memory was failing him on many fronts. I gave him an ultimatum:
*This is not "social" drinking
* You can only drink when others are around you and drinking.
Over time, I gradually relaxed and let him have a glass of wine or beer with dinner. But he did stop falling--maybe twice a month instead of every day--and his memory improved!
And then pandemic restrictions eased, we and our friends were vaccinated and it was time to be social again! We invited a couple for dinner whom we have known for a long time. They like to drink, but they only had 2 glasses of wine each. Husband had 2 glasses of gin and 3 glasses of wine!
After our guests left, he fell and ripped muscles, tendons and ligaments from his groin to his knee on his good leg. He was in hospital and then PT rehab for a month, still has a PT twice a week and still can't use crutches.
At a neighborhood Gay Pride party 2 weeks ago, he said, "Can I have a beer?"
I said, " After all this? If you think that's a good idea, then good luck finding another husband!"
All of this for someone who's not only disabled but also on major pain management meds which ALL say, "Do not drink alcohol while using this medication."
Last summer, he was falling literally every day, sometimes multiple times per day, and his memory was failing him on many fronts. I gave him an ultimatum:
*This is not "social" drinking
* You can only drink when others are around you and drinking.
Over time, I gradually relaxed and let him have a glass of wine or beer with dinner. But he did stop falling--maybe twice a month instead of every day--and his memory improved!
And then pandemic restrictions eased, we and our friends were vaccinated and it was time to be social again! We invited a couple for dinner whom we have known for a long time. They like to drink, but they only had 2 glasses of wine each. Husband had 2 glasses of gin and 3 glasses of wine!
After our guests left, he fell and ripped muscles, tendons and ligaments from his groin to his knee on his good leg. He was in hospital and then PT rehab for a month, still has a PT twice a week and still can't use crutches.
At a neighborhood Gay Pride party 2 weeks ago, he said, "Can I have a beer?"
I said, " After all this? If you think that's a good idea, then good luck finding another husband!"
Yeah. Dan Savage ("Savage Love" podcast and column, and several book) has a concept he calls "price of admission "
Basically, if the drinking or other behavior is more than you can bear, then the cost of admission for your partner to be in your life is up to you to set.
