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Two questions for ya

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Not_Punny, Mar 21, 2010.

  1. Not_Punny

    Not_Punny Superior Member

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    OK, so last night was my first visit to a full blown orgy club.

    The club I went to is very exclusive: it's invitation only, and they have weight and "looks" restrictions -- if you are overweight, underweight or dog-ugly, you are asked to leave.

    There were maybe 30 - 35 couples attending last night plus a few single people. The couples were mostly in their thirties and forties, some in their fifties and beyond, as well as a sprinkling of twenty-somethings.

    I did not go there to have sex with other men. I went with my main squeeze because I am a shameless exhibitionist and because I had never, EVER seen women having sex (with men or with each other) and I was curious to see it.

    While most of the men were ho-hum (quite a few I'd classify as overweight despite the weight restrictions) , the women there were very good looking -- none were "perfect," but every woman had something exceptional -- a great ass, great legs, amazing knockers, pretty face, etc. etc.

    Here are my conclusions about the evening:

    -- Most of the hetero sex going on was BORING. Except for two or three "live wire" women, most of the females (despite their good looks) barely moved. It was like a bunch of blow up dolls lying around being pumped by slightly over-bloated men. (Sorry, but I didn't find it in the least bit titillating.)

    -- Why was everyone so SILENT while they were having sex? Weird. It was like zombies having sex!!!

    -- Thankfully, there was SOME interesting sex going on --

    a) A body builder and his wrestler girlfriend. They were quite physical.
    b) A lady in a sex swing at least looked alive and like she was enjoying herself.
    c) A foursome, MFFM, were working over one of the girls, and I found that quite titillating. (She was one of the few "live wires" present)

    -- There was one charming gal who was a lesbian. She didn't have sex with anyone.... this was unfortunate because I would have like to have watched.

    Anyhoo, I had a nice exhibitionist time and will go again next month.

    HOWEVER, the experience left me with two burning questions:

    A) Is it usual or unusual for women to be so PASSIVE during hetero sex?

    B) Is it normal for a "straight gal" (me) to be attracted to the women??!!
     
    #1 Not_Punny, Mar 21, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2010
  2. SlamminSammy

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    I don't like for women to be passive during sex; it ruins the vibe.
    It's not only normal for a straight gal to be attracted to women; it's hot!
    Where in Cali was this sex club? I've heard of them & have always been intrigued about going cuz I wouldn't mind putting on a show myself. ;)
     
  3. Not_Punny

    Not_Punny Superior Member

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    It's in SoCal. I'm not really keen on revealing the location because I am selfish... I like to be anonymous. (Feels weird running into people from LPSG or being recognized from LPSG, which has happened several times.)

    Also, single men are not allowed to go. One has to bring one's own partner (unless you are a single female).
     
  4. B_crackoff

    B_crackoff Banned

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    I think you're being a wee bit hard on the guys (Georgie Porgy's at the orgies) - & one good feature does not an attractive woman make.

    Why didn't you get your guy to try & have a go on her, then if he was rejected, you could have explored a little smooching.

    It sounds like a bloody bridge club. Some of the most boring people in the world are swingers, & then they have boring sex in front of other people. Boring people like watching boring sex, & to be honest, intimate lovemaking is great to do, but bloody boring to watch.

    I'd also say that a 1st time with a new partner, added it to it being in public, might lead to a more gentler approach, a lot more boring to the eye.
     
  5. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy Banned

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    There is a reason why I prefer bi-oriented sex parties to straight/swinger oriented ones. They are much more active! Bisexual parties are generally more accepting of single men who are typically bi if they go the parties.

    I've noticed that straight women tend to be more passive and less vocal during sex than bi women, and that women tend to be more passive and less vocal than men.

    And, no, there is nothing wrong with a straight gal being curious about how other women express themselves sexually. I think the experience of watching others have sex is very mind-opening and very worthwhile on so many levels.

    Nor is there anything wrong with a straight gal being emotionally or sexually attracted to women or curious about women. This might be the first step in exploring affections and sexual interactions with women. After a while, you may decide the "straight" label no longer applies to you. You can also decide you really are straight and that sex with women does not arouse you. What better way to find out than by direct experience?
     
  6. Incocknito

    Incocknito Sexy Member

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    The truth is that a lot of women (and men) have sex hangups or other individual traits which make them "quiet", "bad lays" or what some may term "bad at sex".

    Did you notice that the women who were louder were slightly less attractive than the other women? Curvier? Or that they had bigger boobs?

    I've found that the pretty or plain girls with the big boobs are usually really fun and loud in the bedroom.

    Whereas your beautiful / hot / prom queen type girls are usually timid, reserved and "horizontal-only" in bed.

    As for being attracted to women...its normal to be attracted to any animal having sex. There was a study done into it and women were getting aroused watching chimps and various other animals have sex.

    It doesn't mean you're gay or doesn't mean the people in that study wanted to have sex with evolutionary cousins. It just means that your biological programming is functioning as it should.

    I wish I had the balls to go to a sex party.

    PS know how I know you enjoyed it? There's at least one spelling mistake in your first post :p
     
  7. HazelGod

    HazelGod Sexy Member

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    Much truth in that statement.

    There's a world of difference between the kind of sex you have when it's just you and a partner, completely immersed in one another...versus the kind of exhibitionistic sex you have when you're "putting on a show."

    That said, I've never been able to stand the sort of woman who didn't actively participate. To me, a woman's responsiveness to me is the key to the whole experience...without that, it feels as if we're all interchangeable figures play-acting some script.
     
  8. SlamminSammy

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    In that case, I think you should take me with you next time. ;)
     
  9. B_quietguy

    B_quietguy Banned

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    I've watched couples make love. It is not boring to me at all. The way they show particular aspects of their intimacy is very telling. I pay attention to the way they kiss, touch, and caress. I also note whether and how often they give one another pleasure. Some do it joyfully for the love of their partners. Others have to be asked to do it. You can learn a lot about somebody's character by watching how they treat their partners in the most intimate actions.
     
  10. cbrmale

    cbrmale Expert Member

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    Yes, it's normal. Me, with more than 100 partners, I would have had about twenty who were really active, really uninhibted, and really into sex for sex's sake. One was a middle-aged escort who owned her own legitimate business, and she was one of those rare escorts who actually do sex work because they enjoy the sex. We corresponded by email a few times before meeting up, and we wore each other out over the course of several hours. I couldn't walk properly for a couple of days afterwards. Another who sticks in my mind was someone I met at a conference a couple of years ago. She was about ten years younger than me, very attractive and her attractiveness gave her great confidence, and she clearly enjoyed raunchy sex. We really clicked in an intellectual and sensual way, driving each other harder and harder. The rest of the 20 or so were Asian girls, mostly Chinese with some Thai and Korean. Universally good to great sex partners, very uninhibited.

    Yes, it's very normal and common. Approximately 3% of men are exclusively homosexual, and another 6% of men are either bisexual or attracted to men enough to consider bisexuality. Approximately 3% of women are exclusively homosexual, and around 40% of women are bisexual or attracted to women enough to consider bisexuality. One theory about this is that women are clearly very attractive; attractive enough to ignite desire in other women. Another theory is that in a past era, women used to communally share child-rearing and subsistence agriculture while men went away to hunt and trade. Because they spent so much time together in intimate groups, women have evolved to be bisexual.

    This second theory also links to the theories as to why women are generally better at communication and language skills than men, and men are generally better at things that require high-level co-ordination, as well as abstract problem-solving, than women (successful hunting required good coordination of spear and other weapons, as well as the ability to avoid becoming the hunted or killed).

    I agree with the point above that romantic sex between loving partners is a sublime experience but, clearly, would be rather boring to watch.
     
  11. ManlyBanisters

    ManlyBanisters Sexy Member

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    Bullshit. "women are clearly very attractive" - attractiveness is highly subjective. It is very simple. Sex sells. Until recently men had a much higher spending power than women therefore sexy women were used to sell shit. The synonymity of 'woman' and 'sex' has had a big impact on what people find sexy and attractive. It is nothing to do with women being generically more attractive than men because there is no such thing.

    Women have evolved to be bisexual? Utter horseshit. Citations from respected anthropology sources please or I'm going to assume that's just your fantasy.

    Studies I've read (specifically on computer game play, though the application can be assumed to be broader) state that women and men are about on a par with each other on abstract problem solving but that women are better at pattern recognition and men have better reflexes.

    You show me your source, I'll show you mine :wink:

    The reason far more women than men admit to bisexual tendencies or out-right bisexuality is that bisexual behaviour is more socially acceptable in women than in men. I don't believe there is any more to it.

    So why are these timid, reserved types at a sex party and having sex in front of strangers... Is that typical timid, reserved behaviour?
     
  12. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I feel the need to start a orgy club for the over weight, under weight and dog ugly people to fuck

    Everyone deserves good sex :yup:
     
  13. Incocknito

    Incocknito Sexy Member

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    When I said timid and reserved I meant sexually.

    It's possible to be timid and reserved in one aspect of life (eg sex) but also to be outgoing and "open" in another (eg work, socially etc).

    So it would be possible for a sexually reserved woman to go to a sex party. Remember also that she has a partner. Lots of women will do things just for their partner / to make him happy etc.

    Perhaps the women having sex were more there for their boyfriends than for themselves which might explain the dull sex they were having.

    But it still doesn't change the fact that a lot of people (men and women) have a low aptitude for sex. Fun sex anyway.
     
  14. ManlyBanisters

    ManlyBanisters Sexy Member

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    Are you sure that's not just the ones that fuck you?

    :tongue:
     
  15. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 Banned

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    *OMG!

     
  16. EllieP

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    NotPunny, you're a lot more adventurous than me, Darling! I would have not only been so nervous but terribly self-conscious going to a club like that. I can't even handle a nude beach well. Guess I'm not much of an exhibitionist or voyeur.

    As for your questions, well, silent sex must be something for nuns, because I've never experienced it! And as for being interested in other women, well, there is a little spark of curiosity in that dark corner that I rarely go near.
     
  17. petite

    petite Expert Member

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    Silent? I can't orgasm if I'm quiet. It just won't happen. You have to put a hand over my mouth to muffle me if we need to be quiet.

    I don't move a lot if he's in the driver's seat, but my favorite positions are with me on top, and that's definitely not passive. I really wouldn't know how other women do it.
     
    #17 petite, Mar 22, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2010
  18. D_Czarova Zucchini

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    what were the "weight restrictions"?
     
  19. D_Czarova Zucchini

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    good on ya!:wink:

    why I hate swing clubs, just middle-class (and mostly middle aged) assholes getting off how many people they can exclude...as if they didn't get enough of that in high school.:mad:
     
  20. galaxus

    galaxus Experimental Member

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    I have a question: Were there any couples of color present? Were they all white? Majority white?
     
    #20 galaxus, Mar 22, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2010
  21. D_Czarova Zucchini

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    well we know no fatties or stags were welcome...

    what'd'you think!?!
     
  22. D_Letha Weapons

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    A) I am not passive, and I tend to be a talker (and if I'm really being pounded, a screamer). I'd like to think that my girlfriends are the same as me, but I don't know.

    B) Yes, definitely. I think that it's possible to be quite turned on by a woman, and very appreciative of her sex appeal, without wanting sexual contact with her.
     
  23. RawDog

    RawDog Expert Member

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    My lesbian wife says:

    "Well duh! Boys are yucky, gross and they smell bad!" (All except me, she said)

    But, seriously, how are you attracted to the women? Is it admiration attraction or envy attraction? Are you attracted in such a way that you want to be like them or be with them?
     
  24. Not_Punny

    Not_Punny Superior Member

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    Hold on, I'm adding your name to the list! :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:


    Yes, it was majority white. There was only one black couple (very nice people -- hung with them for a while -- it was their first time at such a place, and he was a hoot because he had brought a paddle, which turned out to be the ONLY toy brought by anyone!), there was a black man/white woman couple, plus two Asian couples. No Hispanics, which was pretty odd, because that's half the population around here!


    I thought everyone talked too! Maybe they were quiet because they were in a public library ??? (j/k)



    LOL, I've known that I liked boys since I was three years old. That being said, the first person I kissed was a girl (we were practicing for the boys), and while I thought I would never be with a girl sexually, I'm finding myself seriously considering the possibility.

    That being said, I'll always prefer the boys. They have lollipops!! :tongue:



    I'll quote their weight requirements:

    [FONT=Times New Roman,Times,Serif]Below is membership height/weight scale derived from the AMA range for normal weight. The ______ Club requires that you and your partner fit within the range of weight for your height. Please do not have us ask you to leave.

    Height Woman Men

    4’10” 90 – 123
    4’11” 91 – 126
    5’0” 93 – 129
    5’1” 96 – 132
    5’2” 100 – 136 110 – 151
    5’3” 103 – 139 113 – 156
    5’4” 105 – 142 116 – 161
    5’5” 109 – 145 119 – 166
    5’6” 113 – 150 122 – 171
    5’7” 116 – 154 125 – 176
    5’8” 119 – 158 128 – 182
    5’9” 124 – 163 131 – 187
    5’10” 129 – 168 135 – 192
    5’11” 134 – 173 139 – 198
    6’0” 139 – 178 142 – 204
    6’1” 146 – 209
    6’2” 151 – 215
    6'3" 155 - 221
    [/FONT]
    unquote


    LOL, I can hear you all the way from SoCal!! (just kidding) :tongue:

    In retrospect, I think that the women were either self-conscious, or were just having sex in public because their guy wanted it.


    Oh, you're adventerous, all right -- just a different brand of it! :wink:

    It could be that the women were self conscious, so weren't letting themselves go. It's hard to imagine that they'd be that lethargic in their own bedrooms.

    Looking back, when I was first fooling around, I'd get so nervous that I'd freeze... I'm sure that my earliest bf's sometimes thought they were dating a doll from Madame Tusssauds! :eek:
     
  25. Not_Punny

    Not_Punny Superior Member

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    quietguy;2667515]I've watched couples make love. It is not boring to me at all. The way they show particular aspects of their intimacy is very telling. I pay attention to the way they kiss, touch, and caress. I also note whether and how often they give one another pleasure. Some do it joyfully for the love of their partners. Others have to be asked to do it. You can learn a lot about somebody's character by watching how they treat their partners in the most intimate actions.[/QUOTE]


    Well, I'm not much of a voyeur then :biggrin1: -- it actually weirded me out to see people being intimate. I had to control the urge to break out laughing. :eek:

    At least I know know what I am not!! (not a voyuer) Next time I go, I won't even bother going into certain of the rooms at the location.




    Interesting points, cbrmale (cybermale?). I know MB objuected to some of your points (no offense to either of you), but I've read a variety of theories myself. (And theories are just that -- theories)

    Wow, that high a percent of the unpassive percent were Asian? Wow! So if it's a white-women thing, then maybe it's due to WASP and JAP upbringings? (Being a GOOD girl, and all that.)

    Hmmmm. I don't think I've ever had romantic sex in my life. If it ever happened, I'd probably fall over laughing. IMHO, sex is anything but romantic.



    Ha ha -- you've certainly got the balls to go to a sex party. You just don't have the guts! (That was a compliment, m'dear.) :tongue:



    Good point, Mr. Incocknito. I think you may be right.

    Also, maybe those particular women had a submissive streak???




    Fully agree with the second paragraph, HG. I always thought that it was just a joke that some women just laid there... until I was walking though multiples of rooms... and that was exactly what the women were doing! OMG! Sort of like a pornographic version of the "It's a Small World" ride at Disneyland! :eek:

    However, I digress with your views in the first paragraph. :tongue: I like to put on a show whether or not anyone is watching although I do amp it up several notches when someone is watching. :biggrin1::biggrin1::biggrin1: S'fun.




    Bridge club! Georgie Porgies! You're funny!

    But I'm challenging you to support the statement that swingers are boring people. How many swingers do you know, and how do you know that they're swingers unless you yourself have gone to swinger clubs.

    (BTW, the place I went wasn't a swinger's club, per se, and I didn't see much swapping going on at all. Most people had sex with their partner, socialized and then left, and I only saw about ten people handful were having interchangable sex.)
     
  26. Not_Punny

    Not_Punny Superior Member

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    Don't know of any bi-friendly clubs or parties, but I'll keep an eye out for them.

    Meantime, thanks for your encouragement. I am definitely going to "get in touch" with the "feminine side" of sex. But not with one of those Stepford women. :eek:
     
  27. Not_Punny

    Not_Punny Superior Member

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    At first, I wore street clothes.

    Then I wore a see-through lace tank top with matching lace boy shorts (black).

    Then I wore just a teeny tiny thong.

    The other women wore "sexy clothes" (short short mini's, boots, lace stockings, corset tops, etc.) Some women were walking around topless. Some of the women were naked during sex, but they got dressed (or half-dressed) before getting up and walking around.

    I was probably the only female walking around all-but-naked, but then I suspect that I was the only true female exhibitionist there.

    Quite a few men were walking around naked. The other men were fully clothed. None of the men wore "sexy" clothes.


    No, there were no dues at the door, but everyone pitched in to help cover the drinks and the food.

    It was a private home: a large house on 27 acres of land with lots of different areas. The owner has several othyer houses and ONLY uses this house for sex parties and other naked events (naked tennis, etc.), although he says that the other naked events are very conservative -- no nooky.

    Yes, there was music, several outdoor fireplaces, a HUGE, twenty-person jacuzzi, a room with a disco ball and dance pole.

    It was a great setting. I just think that the people going were a bit staid.


    Yes, the swing could turn 360 degrees. The guy doing the girl in the swing was performing adequately, but without any showmanship. Sigh!


    She said she'd be there.... :tongue:


    I don't think they're permitted. Nobody was wearing any masks, and I don't think they'd appreciate their pictures being taken. I did want to bring a camera next time and ask someone to take pics of me and my guy. Be fun to post those. :tongue:

    [/QUOTE]

    I tend to agree!

    Well, this particular outing was just my FIRST attempt. :tongue: There are a couple of other places I'll be checking out.

    One place's name I will reveal because it's not a private club, and you pay at the door -- Sea Mountain Inn in Palm Springs. Apparently, it's a lot more wild.

    And wild is good! :wink:
     
  28. Ed69

    Ed69 Legendary Member

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    This is the difference between porn and real life.You have watched to much porn.We don't flop around making noise like Caligula.
     
  29. D_Sparroe Spongecaques

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    Come along to the parties i go to once a month.A whole array of different people,not have their head up their own bums thinking they are 'all that' ....i have an absolutley great time as everyone is friendly and non judgemental.Some there are overweight,underweight,tall,short,blonde,brunette,bald,20/30/40 somethings,pierced,non pierced,tattood,non tattood,prof people and manual workers and all the other things too.........but most of all non judgemental.

    The parties OP describes sounds as boring as watching paint dry.....still they all probably think they are too frikken sexy to make a noise,especially a rarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr noise :wink:


    No,i don't think its normal for women,hetero or otherwise to be so passive,well not in my world anyway.

    Yes,its perfectly normal for a hetero female to find another female attractive
     
  30. Symphonic

    Symphonic Sexy Member

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    A) It is quite normal. There's simple no real requirement to move all that much in most positions and moving can make it awkward anyway.

    B) Yes, it's normal. Keep in mind there's a difference between voyeurism and sexual attraction; the straight guy who appreciates a large penis is not suddenly "gay" nor is the man who appreciates a very good looking male body. It would be different however if he were to actually desire sex & relations with men. Even random "gay" sex wouldn't make him "gay".
     
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