Waitresses and Waiters

[DC_DEEP]

Focusing on something brought up, touched on in several posts, but not expounded upon: How incredibly STUPID does a person have to be, to start out giving the server a hard time, even before the food is served?

Three people you should NEVER EVER be rude & condescending toward: Your restaurant server, your auto mechanic, and your accountant.

 

[invisibleman]

Bartenders and the wait staff do have to tip out the expediters and busboys, the dishwashers usually don't get tipped out at about half of the restaurants or bars. Nobody is over the shoulder of the bartenders when they use their special spoons to get the money out of the tip jars, they are fairly autonomous and usually well trusted.

The biggest problem with waiters and waitresses is the fact that the IRS has assumed that an average of 20 percent of the wait persons sales (they are like a retail store) are recieved as tips for their service. When people don't tip atleast 20 percent, the wait person pays tax on money they didn't recieve! This is not something that is widely known, and is the major source of frustration among career employees of the restaurant industry.

I always tip 20% (good service and first-time offense bad service) at dining restaurants. When I get bad service from a restaurant whose food I really like, I tell the server. I tell the host. (I still tip 20%). If there is a repeat in bad service, I will only get take out only and won't eat in. (Thus, no more tipping.)
The only time, I didn't leave 20 percent was when I ate at a particular restaurant that had its GRAND OPENING at the time. It was my first time eating there. I went in. The host was very, very nice to me. She was the owner. My server was a young blond headed straight kid...very jock. Very straight. He came around took my order. I ordered a Sprite and an entree which would have been like $ 9.00 plus 20 percent which would've been $10.80. I waited. Waited. Waited for my drink to come. I walked to the back and there was my server eating his lunch and talking with this girl like they were on a friggin' date. I said kinda pissed, "Am I supposed to get my drink and make my food too?!" That guy said, "Sorry, dude." He rushed to get me a Sprite and brought me my order to my table. The food was great though. Thank goodness, I had a glass of water on my table because the server never returned to fill my glass of Sprite. He came around only to bring me the check. I was like, "WTF?!" I went to the host. And said, "I don't know what you are paying your servers with. I have just received really bad service. I had to go in the back of your restaurant to get my food and drink. I didn't get ANY refills on my drink or even water. You are very, very lucky that I really love the food here at your establishment. Because had your food sucked, I would not have paid for this meal. I will be back later on this week. The host took the drink item off of my bill which made it $7.00.
I paid my bill and as I was leaving, the host ran to the back.

I came back to the restaurant. The host remembered me. She said that she had gotten rid of those two servers because they weren't really about their jobs and more about each other. So, I let them go be more with each other. We both laughed. She personally took my order and brought me a Sprite and my order expeditiously. She came around frequently and refilled my drinks. The food was still great. I finally had received some great service. I tipped her 30%!!! I was totally floored with the service she had given me and the professional effort she put in towards retaining me as a customer. I have been a customer for a couple of years now.

 

[DaveyR]

Three people you should NEVER EVER be rude & condescending toward: Your restaurant server, your auto mechanic, and your accountant.

I would add one more to that list DC. Your Dentist.

It was touched upon earlier in the thread that the British are mean tippers in general. Living in a tourist mecca where the majority of the visitors are Brits I have to whole heartedly agree that in general they are.

I would consider myself a fairly generous tipper where warranted. I don't accept bad Service and would not tip if the Service had been bad. There are very few times I have been on the receiving end of poor Service I am happy to say.

One occasion stands out for me and that was in Central Park NY. I think it was called the Inn on the Park or something similar. I was with my cousin from NJ and the service was the worst either of us have ever encountered. When the tab came, printed on the bottom was "suggested tip - 5% to the Maitre D and 15% to the Waiter. We left one cent.

This was the one and only time I have come across this in the US. I have always found Americans to be experts when it comes to Waiters, Shop Assistants and the like. They could teach a lot to most other Countries.

 

[joyboytoy79]

That's why I usually like to pay by credit card, and ask my waiter if he minds the tab paid by credit card, but the tip paid in cash. They usually look at me a little funny, until they realize that they can report a $0.00 tip on $100.00, but actually receive $20.00 that does not have to be reported. Most are usually quite happy to have the credit card receipt show the zero-dollar tip.

Have i ever mentioned that i love you????

-Anyway-

I myself am a very poor college student. When i do eat out (rarely) i tip as much as i can within my means. However... I've also had some terrible service, only to have whomever i'm dining with compensate for my lack of tip. Gargh!

As for the bit Stronzo mentioned about call center Customer Service professionals:

Having worked for agencies ranging from Mail Order catalogs, to Credit Card companies to the US Government, I know how difficult it actually IS to work in a call center. It isn't, as someone mentioned, just reading off of a computer screen. Yes, that's what most CC reps do. Yes, that sucks. But there is a reason why they seem dissinterested, or even hostile with the vast majority of their customers. It's because after 3 days of being nice, and having 95% of your customers treat you with indignity and hatred (my very life was threatened on several occasions, and i was one of the NICE ones!), coupled with the fact the your employer as a general rule does not want you to give the customer what he/she wants, you get fed up. Call Centers pay exceptionally well because turnover is HIGH (the highest of any profession, actually), and often they have a hard time getting new employees in. It's really not because it's considered a "cooler" profession. Trust me, there is absolutely NO glamour in it.

And about the noisy kids... If you have young children, and want to dine out with them, take them to McDonalds and let them play. Please, mostly for the sake of the children, don't take them to a high-end restaurant where they will be bored to death and will be reprimanded for acting like what they ARE - CHILDREN! And people wonder why their kids grow up with so many complexes.

 

[bud7]

I am a generous tipper and have worked as a bartender who depends on tips.

What escapes my understanding is this: If I am paying a restaurant up to a hundred bucks for a meal and triple value for wine ($10-15/glass), why can't the restaurant pay the wait staff a living wage? I frequently feel like I am already paying a lot and then the surcharge is added.

It is not like this in other industries. When I go to the department store, I do not pay the salesperson or cashier for serving me. When I see my shrink/doctor I don't tip the secretary/nurse.

Though I never punish waiters or waitresses, I do sometimes feel like I am being gouged. I will continue to be generous, but I am somewhat pissed off at the owners. It feels like they are not paying their fair share.

 

[dong20]

Focusing on something brought up, touched on in several posts, but not expounded upon: How incredibly STUPID does a person have to be, to start out giving the server a hard time, even before the food is served?

Three people you should NEVER EVER be rude & condescending toward: Your restaurant server, your auto mechanic, and your accountant.

Yes, but there is a difference between being rude and making a legitimate complaint about poor service. If one is employed in a service industry then there is nothing wrong with ones customers expecting a little service. If expressing displeasure about being blithly ignored for 10 mins or more (especially when standing in plain sight) before anyone even deigns to ask if I have a reservation or, if not would I like to wait at the bar for example I will voice my dissatisfaction; usually by leaving. If that is giving staff a 'hard time' then I'm all for it. Proactive rudeness is stupid yes but rudeness works both ways!

DC, I know, or assume that's not what you meant but many waitstaff take umbrage when even a mild expression of impatience or displeasure is voiced, a variant of the Maitre' D syndome I guess you could call it. I have no patience for a supposed 'professional' who behaves like a arrogant snob. Some do and I will not hesitate to say so to their face should the need arise, after all I'm trying to give them business!! Why should I pay to be insulted? I can get that at home for free!

 

[hot-rod]

During all my school years (indeed before I was actually of legal working age in Massachusetts) I was in the food service business. Cape Cod in the height of the season is one great big restaurant it can seem.

I began as a busboy and eventually (every summer and all through college here) I was a waiter. Without question I find it one of the most interesting and challenging jobs there is. The money was damned good too. It seems to me the profession is highly-skilled when done well.

So why does there seem to be such a sub-standard view of it as a profession?

My boyfriend and I frequent a very nice place quite close to where we live and without exception the waitstaff is capable and professional. Yet there's barely an evening we're out to supper when I don't see some idiot giving a waiter or a waitress a hard time (generally when the place is packed and its obvious the server in question is doing his or her level best to perform).

By comparison if I have a charge on my credit card I'd like to dispute or want to make changes in my cable service I'm often (not always) greeted with indifference and attitude. But that profession is somehow more "cool"?:33:

I've known "kids" who do it and I know waitresses and waiters (waitpeople?) who make a very lucrative career from it. So what's up with people thinking going to a restaurant is a green light to treat a server like dirt?

I'm not saying everyone does it but I saw it just two nights ago and I felt dreadful for the girl. What about tipping?? Do you leave 20% if the service and food is very good? It's the proper percentage now for exceptional service.. not 15.

The other question I have is;

Do you think restaurants should allow patrons with very small children (high chair age) when it's a "high end" establishment and the rest of the patrons are paying a premium for their food? If so what happens if the child misbehaves and disrupts the entire dining room?

I ask because not too long ago we had just such a thing happen.

I think going out and dining in a place like you have discribe, that they should leave the little brats at the house with a sitter. You can't have a nice evening out like that with young'uns tagging along. Come to think of it, why do people have this little brats, anyway?......[laughing] As for tipping, I like to tip very well. Even if my waiter just has a nice plessent smile, I take good care of them> It's really hard work anyway but very enjoyable.

 

[DC_DEEP]

Yes, but there is a difference between being rude and making a legitimate complaint about poor service. If one is employed in a service industry then there is nothing wrong with ones customers expecting a little service. If expressing displeasure about being blithly ignored for 10 mins or more (especially when standing in plain sight) before anyone even deigns to ask if I have a reservation or, if not would I like to wait at the bar for example I will voice my dissatisfaction; usually by leaving. If that is giving staff a 'hard time' then I'm all for it. Proactive rudeness is stupid yes but rudeness works both ways!

DC, I know, or assume that's not what you meant but many waitstaff take umbrage when even a mild expression of impatience or displeasure is voiced, a variant of the Maitre' D syndome I guess you could call it. I have no patience for a supposed 'professional' who behaves like a arrogant snob. Some do and I will not hesitate to say so to their face should the need arise, after all I'm trying to give them business!! Why should I pay to be insulted? I can get that at home for free!

I agree, dong20. When I receive poor service, though, I don't vent on the server, I speak to a manager when I finish. And waiting 10 minutes in a full house is not the same as waiting 10 minutes when the place is empty. I take a lot of that into account.

Due to some extraordinary circumstances, two years ago on New Year's Day, my partner and I had breakfast in a restaurant (we ordinarily would have eaten at home). It was surprisingly busy, and our waitress was a very pleasant woman in her early 30s. She was working very hard, the restaurant was obviously short-staffed (January 1st, imagine that...) and I could see she was exhausted, but she was nonetheless exemplary, and kept our coffee mugs full and hot. She received a very nice tip, considerably over the standard 20%. Breakfast is not the highest-priced menu, so we felt her time and attitude were worth more than the standard would have warranted.

 

[Gisella]

Dong..a bill of 150,00 English pounds...its just an exemple or it was really the price?

Well, I dont go to expensive places but just middle class and working class good buffets..never choose more than US 30,00 for my entree and if could find one of 19,99 similar would be satysfied too...the only many courses meal that I had was in French people homes...:wink:

 

[DaveyR]

Dong..a bill of 150,00 English pounds...its just an exemple or it was really the price?

Well, I dont go to expensive places but just middle class and working class good buffets..never choose more than US 30,00 for my entree and if could find one of 19,99 similar would be satysfied too...the only many courses meal that I had was in French people homes...:wink:

Gisella - The French, Spanish, and Italians are similiar in having many courses and for taking a long tme over dinner.

We have 3 Spanish families beside us who get together a lot over dinner. They all gather round a huge table on the terrace. Often they don't start eating until after 10pm and can be there for 4 or 5 hours. We treat eating dinner as just that - eating dinner. They treat it as a great social occasion. It's really nice to see.

 

[dong20]

Dong..a bill of 150,00 English pounds...its just an exemple or it was really the price?

Well, I dont go to expensive places but just middle class and working class good buffets..never choose more than US 30,00 for my entree and if could find one of 19,99 similar would be satysfied too...the only many courses meal that I had was in French people homes...:wink:

It's not a typical price but dinner for two in a reasonable West End eatery, with wine can run to that very easily and has done. Typically I would expect to spend about half that but a good meal is, as Daverock says never about the cost, only partly about the food, it's almost entirely about the experience; KFC, a bottle of plonk or a 6 pack with my friends will generally trump any 5 star any la carte dinner. Less is more.:wink:

 

[Gabriel]

Waiting tables has my respect for many different reasons. I work at a very fast paced corporate restaurant that is ALWAYS busy, so people are high strung most of the time. However, the ability to have aching feet, throbbing headaches and a lingering feeling of discomfort as you take someone's order, you are still able to smile. That is difficult. Not only that, but everyone seems to think that if their food takes 20 minutes to get out, that it's the server's fault. No, in fact, 75% of the time (the other 25% being someone forgets to run their food) the cooks are fucking you over. Not to mention, they have an attitude.

I'm one of the waiters you'll get who will make your plate look nice and edible, because though it may taste the same, who wants to eat something that looks like it just erupted?

It's very rare you find someone who leaves the 15% for less that excellent work, and most tip 18% on absolute awesome service instead of the 20%. You may think 2% isn't much, but when their bill is $80.00 and you get 18% (14.40), instead of 20% (16.00), well, there's $1.20 difference. Again, it may not be much to you, but is toothpaste free? No. That 1.20 makes a difference, I assure you.

When I was in High School (Oh so many years ago), I was suspended for arguing with my Economy teacher, who always said "You don't want to flip burgers at McDonalds!" Well, without those burger flippers, who'd make your precious Big Mac? I hate how there are some people who figure their "status" makes them more valuable than another person. For example, a dope dealer's life is just as valuable as a priest's life. Sure, one of them is ruining lives while another is helping them, but you cannot put a price on a human life.

Hopefully, the next time you go into a restaurant and think "Ugh, here comes that server again," remember that we're people too, please.

 

[dong20]

I agree, dong20. When I receive poor service, though, I don't vent on the server, I speak to a manager when I finish. And waiting 10 minutes in a full house is not the same as waiting 10 minutes when the place is empty. I take a lot of that into account.

Indeed, as generally do I. When it's busy and they're trying hard I will wait but when it's slack and they're simply being lazy/rude then stuff 'em they get what they deserve....:tongue:

Due to some extraordinary circumstances, two years ago on New Year's Day, my partner and I had breakfast in a restaurant (we ordinarily would have eaten at home). It was surprisingly busy, and our waitress was a very pleasant woman in her early 30s. She was working very hard, the restaurant was obviously short-staffed (January 1st, imagine that...) and I could see she was exhausted, but she was nonetheless exemplary, and kept our coffee mugs full and hot. She received a very nice tip, considerably over the standard 20%. Breakfast is not the highest-priced menu, so we felt her time and attitude were worth more than the standard would have warranted.

That's how it should be and that is my philosophy. Maybe I'm harsh (but I know I'm not stingy) but no one gets a free ride. I work hard for my money and I don't see why I should the only one...:smile:

 

[DaveyR]

Waiting tables has my respect for many different reasons. I work at a very fast paced corporate restaurant that is ALWAYS busy, so people are high strung most of the time. However, the ability to have aching feet, throbbing headaches and a lingering feeling of discomfort as you take someone's order, you are still able to smile. That is difficult. Not only that, but everyone seems to think that if their food takes 20 minutes to get out, that it's the server's fault. No, in fact, 75% of the time (the other 25% being someone forgets to run their food) the cooks are fucking you over. Not to mention, they have an attitude.

I'm one of the waiters you'll get who will make your plate look nice and edible, because though it may taste the same, who wants to eat something that looks like it just erupted?

It's very rare you find someone who leaves the 15% for less that excellent work, and most tip 18% on absolute awesome service instead of the 20%. You may think 2% isn't much, but when their bill is $80.00 and you get 18% (14.40), instead of 20% (16.00), well, there's $1.20 difference. Again, it may not be much to you, but is toothpaste free? No. That 1.20 makes a difference, I assure you.

When I was in High School (Oh so many years ago), I was suspended for arguing with my Economy teacher, who always said "You don't want to flip burgers at McDonalds!" Well, without those burger flippers, who'd make your precious Big Mac? I hate how there are some people who figure their "status" makes them more valuable than another person. For example, a dope dealer's life is just as valuable as a priest's life. Sure, one of them is ruining lives while another is helping them, but you cannot put a price on a human life.

Hopefully, the next time you go into a restaurant and think "Ugh, here comes that server again," remember that we're people too, please.

You make some great points here.

How often are we guilty of seeing people as the job they do and not the human being that they are? I think we would all do well to think about that a little more often.

As for waiting 20 minutes for food I would be more than happy to do so. When food arrives too quickly I am suspicious that it has been previously cooked either fully or partially then microwaved. When we go out we prefer to take our time over dinner. This is something we have learned more about since moving to Spain. I am talking about good restaurants here and not fast food joints.

 

[Gisella]

Yes Daverock and Dong...

I do understand the food experience, well if in a restaurant I dont experience much but family and friends is another thing. When I was in Brasil we eat late..put separate table with all the foods, one for the drinks and later coffee and later desserts...and we start eating late go late hours and some one still play some music too.

But that situation that people keep bring food and change plates and more plates, kind of 7 or 8 courses, I got only once in my life very impressive!!!

Well, you 2 people are much more sophisticated than me...and like English movies had you ever go to the studio or private library for cigars and port or other drinks too???

Wow, if so please tell me, ok ?

 

[DaveyR]

Well, you 2 people are much more sophisticated than me...and like English movies had you ever go to the studio or private library for cigars and port or other drinks too???

Gisella that made me laugh. I have never been to a private library and cigars make me want to puke. Now a glass or port is another matter. :biggrin1: :drunk:

 

[Gisella]

Gisella that made me laugh. I have never been to a private library and cigars make me want to puke. Now a glass or port is another matter. :biggrin1: :drunk:

:tongue:

I was imagening a bunch of English men there, and you 2 with mustaches and that silk scarf and etc...but I think it can be pipes too.

Thanks Daverock.:wink:

 

[DC_DEEP]

Now for my horror story.

My friend LJ and I love live music, so we got tickets (way in advance) and attended Memphis in May. We were having a blast, hearing some excellent bands and some excellent music. When we were both hungry for dinner, we started walking around in the area, and all the restaurants appeared to be pretty busy. We finally decided on Landry's Seafood (not one of my favorites, but seemed the best choice at the time.) It took longer than it should to seat us in the patio area, and we waited and waited for someone to at least bring us some water and a menu. After about 15 minutes, we saw 3 of the wait staff, looking and pointing at us and arguing, obviously over who would have the misfortune of waiting our table. One lost out, came over and took our order. When the food arrived about 25 minutes later, my order was wrong. I would have just eaten it anyway, except that I was (severly) allergic to the entree he brought, and had to send it back. I told LJ to go ahead and eat, no need for her dinner to get cold waiting for me. She's a slow eater, but she finished hers before mine arrived. We never once got drink refills. After I had finished, we tried repeatedly to get our waiter to bring us the check, but he would not show up. I even went to the hostess station, and she told me he would bring the check. We waited another 15 minutes, and eventually decided that not only would there be no tip, but we were walking out without paying for the dinner. We walked slowly, hoping someone would notice and ask us about it, but no one did. That is the only time either of us has ever skipped out on paying, and after we talked about it, we decided that we didn't feel as badly about it as we did at first. Worst dinner experience, ever.

 

[dong20]

:tongue:

I was imagening a bunch of English men there, and you 2 with mustaches and that silk scarf and etc...but I think it can be pipes too.....

You must have been reading the racial sterotypes guide 2006 again.:tongue: :wink:

I've never worn a mustache or a silk scarf come to that, smoked a pipe and I don't like port, except maybe, just maybe a very very old KWV. However, a good meal followed by a Romeo & Juliet or an old Cohiba, interesting conversation and some Johnny Blue label; just once in a while; that is another matter entirely.

 

[dong20]

Now for my horror story.

My friend LJ and I love live music, so we got tickets (way in advance) and attended Memphis in May. We were having a blast, hearing some excellent bands and some excellent music. When we were both hungry for dinner, we started walking around in the area, and all the restaurants appeared to be pretty busy. We finally decided on Landry's Seafood (not one of my favorites, but seemed the best choice at the time.) It took longer than it should to seat us in the patio area, and we waited and waited for someone to at least bring us some water and a menu. After about 15 minutes, we saw 3 of the wait staff, looking and pointing at us and arguing, obviously over who would have the misfortune of waiting our table. One lost out, came over and took our order. When the food arrived about 25 minutes later, my order was wrong. I would have just eaten it anyway, except that I was (severly) allergic to the entree he brought, and had to send it back. I told LJ to go ahead and eat, no need for her dinner to get cold waiting for me. She's a slow eater, but she finished hers before mine arrived. We never once got drink refills. After I had finished, we tried repeatedly to get our waiter to bring us the check, but he would not show up. I even went to the hostess station, and she told me he would bring the check. We waited another 15 minutes, and eventually decided that not only would there be no tip, but we were walking out without paying for the dinner. We walked slowly, hoping someone would notice and ask us about it, but no one did. That is the only time either of us has ever skipped out on paying, and after we talked about it, we decided that we didn't feel as badly about it as we did at first. Worst dinner experience, ever.

Excellent (in a strangely perverse way). A similar thing happened to me but we never made it to the door. I didn't pay and there was no fuss, about which I felt vaguely cheated but we were in such a good mood I didn't care.