Went to a nude/clothing opt swimming hole

[nhguy78]

I was feeling weird at a nude swimming hole yesterday. It felt great being nude (society is confused by nudist asexuals). Later in the day, I started to feel weird around certain people. Wondering it was a fleeting attraction I was feeling. Could this be that "ace flux" thing? Maybe just that rare attaction.

Regardless, it kinda affected my mental health. It's like I didn't know what to do with it and made me feel weird like being alone in a crowd. Also, I'm either socially awkward extrovert or an introvert. Last night on the drive home I started to overthink and get trapped in this funk.

Ever get those moments?

 

[AllieHeidi]

Literally, no one cares about asexuals on this website (or in the world, really). I don't even know why this section exists. Most people think we're undesirable weirdos because we don't like having sex and avoid us like the plague.

This section is dead for a reason. We're not wanted as partners/companions by the vast majority of people on this planet, so why even bother having this section? To emphasize this fact, lol?

Make it make sense.

 

[GS_PL]

If everyone there was acting appropriately in addition to you, then there wasn't anything to feel about your experience other than trying something different and pondering what it was like.

I am so grateful for places that permit single men to be nude, rather than up front have a prejudice and deny admission. It sucks to have to suffer because of past unsavory behavior of others. You're fortunate to have a partner who was willing to share this opportunity with you. Strength in numbers is no joke.

 

[powerbook06]

I was feeling weird at a nude swimming hole yesterday.

What is a "nude swimming hole"? But regardless, I have never been nude with other people around, so I do not have a similar or analogous experience to share.

Later in the day, I started to feel weird around certain people. Wondering it was a fleeting attraction I was feeling. Could this be that "ace flux" thing? Maybe just that rare attaction.

Who knows, if not you. In a similar place I would rather feel dizzy or even disgusted.

 

[powerbook06]

I don't even know why this section exists.

We are just a few around here to share some experiences, knowledge or opinions, once in a while. No need for this place to be crowded or particularly active. Time runs with different pace for asexuals.

 

[nhguy78]

Literally, no one cares about asexuals on this website (or in the world, really). I don't even know why this section exists. Most people think we're undesirable weirdos because we don't like having sex and avoid us like the plague.

This section is dead for a reason. We're not wanted as partners/companions by the vast majority of people on this planet, so why even bother having this section? To emphasize this fact, lol?

Make it make sense.

We don't exist here for others' pleasure. They can go fuck themselves. I amarried to a pansexual man and we're good. We make it work. He's a keeper.

 

[nhguy78]

If everyone there was acting appropriately in addition to you, then there wasn't anything to feel about your experience other than trying something different and pondering what it was like.

I am so grateful for places that permit single men to be nude, rather than up front have a prejudice and deny admission. It sucks to have to suffer because of past unsavory behavior of others. You're fortunate to have a partner who was willing to share this opportunity with you. Strength in numbers is no joke.

Yeah, I hear you. Absolutely everything platonic as it should be.

I do have a nudist husband and he can be a free spirit but at the same time super cautious as well. I do with we connected with other safe people in social settings.

 

[nhguy78]

What is a "nude swimming hole"? But regardless, I have never been nude with other people around, so I do not have a similar or analogous experience to share.


Who knows, if not you. In a similar place I would rather feel dizzy or even disgusted.

Swimming hole ... Just a spot for swimming. It's private property on a reservoir for a power company. They allow recreation and nudity in a small section.

 

[Trevor]

Literally, no one cares about asexuals on this website (or in the world, really). I don't even know why this section exists. Most people think we're undesirable weirdos because we don't like having sex and avoid us like the plague.

This section is dead for a reason. We're not wanted as partners/companions by the vast majority of people on this planet, so why even bother having this section? To emphasize this fact, lol?

Make it make sense.

Is anyone really asexual? I have convinced my elderly parents that I am because that is better than being gay or bi in their eyes.

 

[AllieHeidi]

Is anyone really asexual?

Yes.

 

[AllieHeidi]

We don't exist here for others' pleasure. They can go fuck themselves. I amarried to a pansexual man and we're good. We make it work. He's a keeper.

I am a pancupiosexual man married to a pan demisexual man.

Cupiosexual: If someone identifies as cupiosexual, they do not experience sexual attraction but still desire to engage in sexual behavior or have a sexual relationship.

This is why almost no one takes us seriously. Sometimes I feel like I'm the last surviving asexual who actually has no desire to have sex with anyone ever; which used to be the sole definition.

If there is, in fact, a small group of people who merely have low sex-drives mislabeling themselves as asexual, I believe it's this group right here. And demisexuals are just normal people who require monogamy before sex. Most people are like this.

It's now gotten to a point where if you tell someone you're asexual, you receive some variation of this response:

 

[nhguy78]

This is why almost no one takes us seriously. Sometimes I feel like I'm the last surviving asexual who actually has no desire to have sex with anyone ever; which used to be the sole definition.

If there is, in fact, a small group of people who merely have low sex-drives mislabeling themselves as asexual, I believe it's this group right here. And demisexuals are just normal people who require monogamy before sex. Most people are like this.

It's now gotten to a point where if you tell someone you're asexual, you receive some variation of this response:

We are diverse. Some of us have sex. Most do not. Also, we are all normal. Demisexuals are not necessarily monogamous. Demisexuality is no sexual attraction until developing a deeper connection.

 

[playklax01]

We are diverse. Some of us have sex. Most do not. Also, we are all normal. Demisexuals are not necessarily monogamous. Demisexuality is no sexual attraction until developing a deeper connection.

Correct. I'm demi and can tell when someone is generally 'attractive' but I have absolutely no desire initially to have sex with them. I typically won't find someone 'sexually' attractive until after I get to know them. The connection does not need to be 'deep' with me, but deeper like you said. I've had first dates where the person shows up and I'm like 'ehh, they're ok', but then later in the date when we've gotten to know each other, it can change and I can be like 'omg, they're hot!'.

And yes, monogamy has nothing specific to do with it. Demis can cheat too, especially if they find that unicorn that they find sexually attractive right off the bat (without the deeper connection). It does happen, it's an overwhelming feeling (omg!), but happens very rarely.

 

[AllieHeidi]

Demisexuals are not asexual because they experience sexual attraction. Demisexuality absolutely does not belong in the category of asexuality. It's just another form of being allosexual. I feel a need to gatekeep this for the exact same reason gay men feel a need to gatekeep what it means to be a gay man (men who are only sexually and/or romantically attracted to the same sex).

Gatekeeping is necessary because when it comes time for people like me to tell people I'm asexual it is imperative that they understand that it means under no circumstances whatsoever do I experience sexual attraction for others. It stops people from "trying anything with me" if they find themselves interested. It sets a clear boundary. It also helps with being taken seriously since the vast majority of human beings find it difficult to comprehend what it's like to never experience sexual attraction and consider us "defective."

Again, most people are "demisexual." Frankly, I don't even know why there is a label for a normal state of the human condition which is essentially saying, "I need to get to know you better and have a connection before I desire to have sex with you." In fact, most women function this way.

I think that society has become so hyper/oversexed that people who don't feel the need to hop into bed with someone on the first date are, incorrectly, thinking that something must be wrong with them or they're "different" just because they don't subscribe to the "tenets of hook-up culture." The media and porn would have one believe that the majority of people are into casual hook-ups when that is not necessarily the case, at all.

Demisexuality: Just A Normal Human Being

 

[AllieHeidi]

The article link doesn't work anymore. So, here's a discussion about it. A lot of asexuals disagree that demisexuality is a branch of asexuality. It is not. If you experience sexual attraction, however long it takes you to get there, you are not asexual. Allosexuality has many forms. None of those forms involve not experiencing sexual attraction.

 

[nhguy78]

Demisexuals are not asexual because they experience sexual attraction. Demisexuality absolutely does not belong in the category of asexuality. It's just another form of being allosexual. I feel a need to gatekeep this for the exact same reason gay men feel a need to gatekeep what it means to be a gay man (men who are only sexually and/or romantically attracted to the same sex).

Gatekeeping is necessary because when it comes time for people like me to tell people I'm asexual it is imperative that they understand that it means under no circumstances whatsoever do I experience sexual attraction for others. It stops people from "trying anything with me" if they find themselves interested. It sets a clear boundary. It also helps with being taken seriously since the vast majority of human beings find it difficult to comprehend what it's like to never experience sexual attraction and consider us "defective."

Again, most people are "demisexual." Frankly, I don't even know why there is a label for a normal state of the human condition which is essentially saying, "I need to get to know you better and have a connection before I desire to have sex with you." In fact, most women function this way.

I think that society has become so hyper/oversexed that people who don't feel the need to hop into bed with someone on the first date are, incorrectly, thinking that something must be wrong with them or they're "different" just because they don't subscribe to the "tenets of hook-up culture." The media and porn would have one believe that the majority of people are into casual hook-ups when that is not necessarily the case, at all.

Demisexuality: Just A Normal Human Being

Again, we are all normal. Asexuals are normal. Aromantic asexuals are normal people. There is nothing wrong with asexuals. It's just who you are. If you're tired of people not getting the hint when you say no, it is because they're not an ally. They don't care about you and probably it's because they don't understand. I agree that society is oversexed. Boundaries don't exist and people get hurt.

Have you ever heard the phrase asexual spectrum? It exists for a reason because there are many experiences that relate to the level of attraction and types of attraction. It seems to me that you think that demisexuality = allosexuality. That is not true. I recommend you follow asexuals and those talking about asexuality especially the ace spectrum on social media. Also, don't confuse demisexuality with saving ones self for marriage. Demisexuality is not a choice. Abstinence is a choice. Being repulsed by sex is not a choice. Choosing not to have sex is a choice.

 

[AllieHeidi]

Again, we are all normal. Asexuals are normal. Aromantic asexuals are normal people. There is nothing wrong with asexuals. It's just who you are. If you're tired of people not getting the hint when you say no, it is because they're not an ally. They don't care about you and probably it's because they don't understand. I agree that society is oversexed. Boundaries don't exist and people get hurt.

Have you ever heard the phrase asexual spectrum? It exists for a reason because there are many experiences that relate to the level of attraction and types of attraction. It seems to me that you think that demisexuality = allosexuality. That is not true. I recommend you follow asexuals and those talking about asexuality especially the ace spectrum on social media. Also, don't confuse demisexuality with saving ones self for marriage. Demisexuality is not a choice. Abstinence is a choice. Being repulsed by sex is not a choice. Choosing not to have sex is a choice.

I disagree that asexuality is a spectrum. Sexuality exists on a spectrum. Asexuality is just asexuality. It involves not ever experiencing sexual attraction. Just like being a gay male means never experiencing sexual attraction to females. Being gay isn't a "spectrum." You're either gay or you're not. If a so-called gay man goes around saying that he can only feel sexual attraction for women when he establishes an emotional connection, he's not gay. He's just bisexual with conditions. Asexuals never experience sexual attraction to others. There are no "conditions" where this will change.

Demisexuals experience sexual attraction under certain conditions (i.e. getting to know someone and developing an emotional connection). That is a form of being allosexual. I say that it's "normal" not to insinuate that being asexual is "abnormal" (why would I call myself "abnormal?"), but in the generic sense of what is observed within the vast majority of the human population; in other words, what is the observed norm. Not that it somehow "goes against nature." Understand?

Demisexuals are just describing a feeling that the vast majority of allosexual human beings experience, especially females. The world is oversexed and has made people (especially young people) believe that they're "broken" for not wanting to bang the first person they see within five minutes of meeting them. The average person doesn't function that way. So, is the average person 'demisexual?' The label/term is a bit redundant. That's all I'm saying.

And I'm quite familiar with asexuality. I have known I'm this way for over 20 years before social media turned my sexuality into a complete joke.

 

[Sandymat]

Were you happy with yourself and comfortable being nude ? .....that’s all that matters

 

[Scarletbegonia]

Is anyone really asexual? I have convinced my elderly parents that I am because that is better than being gay or bi in their eyes.

Yes, Virginia, asexuals exist. Even on a spectrum.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

I go to clothing optional hot springs.

If I feel odd around someone, it’s usually because of the vibe they give off.
Groups of swingers and kinksters tend to like this particular one, and they sometimes forget it isn’t Scarlet Ranch (the weird suburban swinger club near our capital city), and they will creep out the hippies.

I can be aware of someone’s attractiveness, but I’ve never had sexual attraction in the wild.
I also don’t believe one must have zero interest in sex to be asexual.

“define short”