It’s whatever you think it is. Within your own relationship you get to define the rules. Even single you get to decide what works for you and what doesn’t. I have an open relationship. If my husband wants to get fucked by someone I’m cool with that. Dinner and a movie with someone else doesn’t work for me because it’s something more than sex.
Infernal offers an excellent reply. Cheating can be defined differently by everyone.
The important factor is 2 committed partners have the same definition.
The important factor is 2 committed partners have the same definition.
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Every relationship is built differently, every relationship has their own rules .
I always felt that the definition of "cheating" was when you do something with others that you would not do if your significant other was in your presence....
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I agree if it’s something you hide from your significant other then yes cheating. If your in a open relationship and all parties are fine with it then nope.
Although some partners don't want to know what's going on, but that again is defined by the two(or 3, etc) people in the relationship
Is an "open relationship" indicative of no boundaries or some agreed upon boundaries...in which case, then the agreed upon boundaries are not to be violated....no?
Cheating is giving something to another that you have pledged to be exclusively your partner's.
I posted a thread quite some time ago on the emotional component of cheating, so I would say that it's definitely more than simply physical. However, I think it's something that both partners need to negotiate and establish between themselves as everyone has different tolerances for different behaviors.
MuscledHorse
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Cheating is a concept from the Christian church wrongly equating Lust and Love as being synonyms. The result (aside from many failed relationships and Taylor Swift having something to sing about) has been to found relationships built around jealousy and insecurity. Scientifically (and non-Judaic historically) we are not sexually monogamous animals; monogamy is the exception in nature not the rule, even when animal pair off as mates many still play sexually as did many of the ancient cultures from China to Rome. To tie emotional fidelity to sexual fidelity has been disastrous on the marriage and divorce rates.
That said, as another poster above put it, cheating is, in the end, what you and the other person(s) involved in the relationship decide it means. My bf is a big a horndog as I am and we play together as well as separately constantly. We aren't jealous of what the other is doing. There is no fear he is going to have great sex with a guy and run off with him. In fact, we enjoy hearing about each other's exploits and he has more than once done the camera work for a justforfans filming I was in, But at the end of the day, I am there for him and he is there for me because we understand the difference between Lust and Love and no amount of sex or hot guys can change the caring we have for each other.so in our world the concept of cheating simply doesn't exist.
That said, as another poster above put it, cheating is, in the end, what you and the other person(s) involved in the relationship decide it means. My bf is a big a horndog as I am and we play together as well as separately constantly. We aren't jealous of what the other is doing. There is no fear he is going to have great sex with a guy and run off with him. In fact, we enjoy hearing about each other's exploits and he has more than once done the camera work for a justforfans filming I was in, But at the end of the day, I am there for him and he is there for me because we understand the difference between Lust and Love and no amount of sex or hot guys can change the caring we have for each other.so in our world the concept of cheating simply doesn't exist.
We have agreed-upon boundaries. If my husband wants to stop for some dick on the way home, I'm totally fine with that. The caveat is that he tells me it's going to happen. I don't need details, just the knowledge that it happens. I give him the same courtesy. I work from home, so if I have someone over during the day, I send him a quick text to let him know it's happening. The other agreements are no bareback, and we don't fuck anyone else in our own bed. It's worked well for us so far. He can do what he needs to, but I know that no matter what he does with someone else, he sleeps next to me at night.
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Yes agreed upon boundaries and that are not violated. Basically full trust in your significant other, nothing to hide. I have not been in an open relationship myself but have a Freind who is.
This is really awesome discussion.
This whole thing makes you wonder if marriage is s valid today compared to centuries ago. When we were in medieval times and only lived to 25, things were different. Then a few decades ago marriages were husband-centric and the man sort of 'ran' things, and whatever he 'wanted', he got. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying for back to that. Progress in progress and those were dark times. The question is, "is marriage still a valid social construct?"
marriedasian
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cheating is different for everyone. everyone has their own tolerance level. it's on all of us as individuals to define that line and share that with our significant other(s) and vice-versa.
to some, simply looking at another person is cheating (as childish as that may seem) or even making eye contact and sending a smile; while to others, it's only once penis is in vagina... so to each their own therefore this question is very murky.
for me personally, i've evolved past the point of cheating and have transitioned to lying. i don't care if my wife cheats on me with another man but if she lies about it and i find out later then it's game over for her. it's not the cheating that bothers me, it's the lying about it. i don't care if she fucks another guy; i care that she lied about it. i can live with a cheater but i can't live with a liar. there's no way i can keep up with a liar.
i've gotten to the age now where sexual physical intimacy is pretty much a free-for-all. i'm more interested in someone i can trust and can count on when the shit hits the fan. everything else in between is gravy and extra bonus.
to some, simply looking at another person is cheating (as childish as that may seem) or even making eye contact and sending a smile; while to others, it's only once penis is in vagina... so to each their own therefore this question is very murky.
for me personally, i've evolved past the point of cheating and have transitioned to lying. i don't care if my wife cheats on me with another man but if she lies about it and i find out later then it's game over for her. it's not the cheating that bothers me, it's the lying about it. i don't care if she fucks another guy; i care that she lied about it. i can live with a cheater but i can't live with a liar. there's no way i can keep up with a liar.
i've gotten to the age now where sexual physical intimacy is pretty much a free-for-all. i'm more interested in someone i can trust and can count on when the shit hits the fan. everything else in between is gravy and extra bonus.
Cheating does not necessarily mean that the person loves you any less....it only means that the person got caught up in the physical ......but to cheat and lie about it is just downright disrespectful!!
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