Will it be considered cheating?

[interestedchap]

Hi. I just got a question that I'll be interested in seeing some of your responses. I'm still about 7-10 years away from marriage BUT I'm just wondering if my little appetite for jerking off with other dudes (max would be hand job) doesn't wear off in the coming future, will this be considered adultery when I'm married or just guys doing what guys do? Because technically the jerk off is still a sexual act with another person other than your wife but then again its just more of a fun physical release?

P.s My wife probably wont know about the J.O sessions as I'm likely to marry some one from a "conservative" background like myself...little will they know of my little pleasures..lol

 

[kiahman]

I understand. Be honest with yourself, and it will be a lot easier to be honest with other significant people in your life. You have an intrest in JO with other guys, and I dont think that really makes you gay. I assure you, that a life that you can openly share with someone else is much easier and enjoyable life that's worth sharing. Keep in mind, you would want and expect the same from your future wife.

 

[Thirdlegproduction]

your partner secretly has jerk off sessions behind your back while he/she is married to you?

No, any way you twist it, it's still cheating and if it was just a physical release you could do it on your own.

 

[D_Mannie_Peddy]

Why do you assume you will get married, in the first place?

 

[Kotchanski]

If you don't tell her and/or she doesn't give you consent, then yes it is cheating.

In no sense is this "guys just doing what guys do" that is what we like to call denial.

I suggest you either give up the wank parties, learn to be honest and find someone who loves you for who you are or give up on marriage.

 

[tbrguy]

Let me see if I've understood you:

• You 'might' get married
• In 7 - 10 years
• You currently enjoy masturbating with other men
• You think you'll continue to masturbate with other men when married
• But you won't tell your wife
• She is/would be/will be from a 'conservative' background
• You too are from a 'conservative' background

So what's your question?

Will this be cheating?

If it isn't, why would you not tell your spouse to be?

You obviously know the right answer - what do you really want to know?

 

[marriedjacker29]

Clearly, it is a form of cheating. In my book, anything you're hiding or being dishonest about constitutes cheating. The real question is....Are you ok with that, and with the consequences of it?

 

[rbkwp]

I consider NO one in life is honest' even tho we may think or like to believe we are, we are born in sin, with sinful ways
we are just not that way inclined tbh

so NO, i dont think its cheating, and until the makers of laws deem it so, that its legally cheating ( like screwing another when legally in wedlock/ all them magical lawful/religious vows ya make) then NO, i dont think its cheating
(and we would all continue to break such fn laws anyway)

How
many married M / F, privately JO without there partner knowing
ie
when the missus goes in to have the kid, and very highly sexed hubby home alone, ( if he tells her or not) is THAT cheating?

 

[D_Anne_T_Freeze]

If you have to ask, it's cheating. Stop kidding yourself.

 

[B_avast]

I totally second what whitemonster said but for as little as I know girls are pretty comfortable if they know you are attracted to guys..thhey might be even turned on by knowing that.. Masturbating with another girl is a different story though.. So I cant see any hindrance as regard to a marriage,just tell your wife your secret. She will be ok and you have to carefully pick your wife..you dont want to get married with a conservative person ;-)

 

[xmarksbreakdownx]

Well, I guess I'm the odd ball out.

I wouldn't consider it cheating. I mean, it's just two guys jerking off. There's no... "feelings" there or anything like. No different from going out drinking or playing video games or something to me?

But I guess I'm wrong. I kind of see it as just a male bonding thing to do too. It's not like it would be a big secret like you sleeping with another woman. Would you tell your wife every conversation you and your buddy have or everything you guys do together? No. How would that really be different?

 

[B_BigRedXL]

It really depends on your wife. If she is the kind of person that love sex and always wants you pounding her and never wants anyone else to use your cock; then it could be seen as cheating. If it's two buds watching porn, I don't think that is cheating because it is self pleasure; or mutual masturbation. Once you start getting into oral, things get complicated and it most likely is considered cheating. She may consider your dick hers, once you start sticking it strange places it is cheating. But if you are masturbating without the aid of another, I can't call it cheating.

Once an orifice is involved, it is cheating.

Think of it like watching porn; you are pleasuring yourself without using another human being. Mutual jack off is the same thing, unless you have a different version of mutual masturbation. If I jack with another guy, it is just me touching my own dick; no one else.

 

[IntoxicatingToxin]

I will mirror what a few others have said - if she doesn't know about it, it's deceiving. Maybe or maybe not cheating, but certainly deception, which is nearly as bad. If you can't marry someone that you can be honest with, then you shouldn't be getting married. My boyfriend and I have already discussed the possibility of him having sex with other people in the future (he's bi-curious) and I've already told him that I'm fine with it as long as I know about it (and can hopefully record it, ha!). Had he not told me about it and went to make out with a guy or something, I would be devastated. And pissed.

 

[PaloSantoMarron]

No way is mutual j/o cheating. just a nice hot male bonding experience.

 

[Mushroom9]

Most men and women view sex differently. Sex (meaning anything that leads to ejaculation) for many women is a way of bonding, forming more intimate relationships, making a family. However, many men view sex as recreational (re-creation, notwithstanding). We're hard-wired differently. Just be careful. What you see as harmless fun, she may see as the ultimate betrayal.

 

[Serial Kisser]

No way is mutual j/o cheating. just a nice hot male bonding experience.

If you're in a committed relationship with someone, would you really be ok with them going and having a sexual experience with someone else? I doubt it.

 

[xmarksbreakdownx]

If you're in a committed relationship with someone, would you really be ok with them going and having a sexual experience with someone else? I doubt it.

So... Would I mind if my wife and her female friend masturbated together? No. Not. At. All.

 

[nicecircjob]

I think this idea reveals you are not a good candidate for marriage. "Forsaking all others and cleaving unto your wife." Can you do that part of the marriage vow? If not you will not have a happy union. "A house divided cannot stand. . . . " Why not let her do the masterbating to you? This idea of masterbating with other men shows homosexual tendencies and I don't think you could be be happy married to a women. It wouldn't last. It would have about as much as a snowballs chance in hell. That's how I see it. I don't see you as conservative, liberal if anything.

 

[interestedchap]

Some interesting responces here. Its also interesting to note that most women are saying its cheating where-as most guys understand where I'm coming from and I guess we dont understand where the ladies are coming from.

From what I can deduce for myself here, (as in if its against your personal beliefs its not the end of the world) it will be wise to let my wife know of the mutual jerk offs if I happen to still be taking part in them in the future.

 

[D_Jacqueline_Boozann]

Wouldn't masturbation be part of his moral and or/spiritual value system, if any?