Worst Coital Conversations

[lbj15]

We've had a lot of threads about the best things people have said before sex, during sex, after sex, but what about the worst?

My three contributions:

1) Me: "You have amazing breasts." Her: "You're like the hundredth guy to tell me that."

2) Her, right before I was going to penetrate her: "Actually, you should get a condom. I have have genital warts."

3) After hooking up with a girl I had previously broken up with and having a night of non stop drunken fucking, I woke up, rolled over, she smiled and said "hey", and I said "oops."

 

[lbj15]

Oh there was also waking up the next morning with blood everywhere and me wondering if I'd somehow ruptured something in the poor girl, and somehow being relieved when she said "oh fuck, my period came early."

She was incredibly cool. Even bought me new sheets and mailed them to me with a thank-you note.

 

[OldWise]

I once had a girlfriend who, like the lesbian couple in the movie, The Kids Are All Right, was totally obsessed with gay-man sex. The idea of glory holes and gay orgies or just gay men hanging out in men's restrooms hunting for a quick hookup revved her up like mad. (And she had many gay men friends; maybe in a past life she was a gay man.) This put me into something of a bind, as I was willing to create and tell her all sorts of gay fantasies and even buy her gay porn magazines, but I didn't want to see any gay porn movies. I even bought a sheet of plywood and cut a hole in it, so she could pretend to be sucking cock from a gloryhole. When we fucked, which was al the time, however, I lived in fear that she would instantly deflate my erection by telling me one of her favorite fantasies wherein I had sex with my best friend or my boss! Instant softy! Not my cup of tea. I know, however, that many bisexual men would kill for such a woman.

 

[Perfectsix]

“Your brother is a lot bigger than you”

 

[gebro]

"Are you in yet?"

 

[jumbo747jet]

"Ceiling needs repainting"

 

[jackleg]

"Are you in yet?"

"am i in, yet? i'm done"!!!

 

[ericbear]

I once had a girlfriend who, like the lesbian couple in the movie, The Kids Are All Right, was totally obsessed with gay-man sex. The idea of glory holes and gay orgies or just gay men hanging out in men's restrooms hunting for a quick hookup revved her up like mad. (And she had many gay men friends; maybe in a past life she was a gay man.) This put me into something of a bind, as I was willing to create and tell her all sorts of gay fantasies and even buy her gay porn magazines, but I didn't want to see any gay porn movies. I even bought a sheet of plywood and cut a hole in it, so she could pretend to be sucking cock from a gloryhole. When we fucked, which was al the time, however, I lived in fear that she would instantly deflate my erection by telling me one of her favorite fantasies wherein I had sex with my best friend or my boss! Instant softy! Not my cup of tea. I know, however, that many bisexual men would kill for such a woman.

Actually, there is an entire genre of gay male porn that is specifically produced for consumption by straight women. This started out as the so-called "slash" stories, the name of which comes from the days when people placed personal ads in print publications, and would include the abbreviation "m/m" to indicate they were looking for a gay encounter. One study found that of the women polled (of all sexual persuasions) that did watch porn, 82% preferred man-on-man. Interestingly, the usual reason cited is that they felt is was more real, that is, that both participants were actually enjoying the action.

Study: Many Women Prefer Gay Male Porn Because It's 'Authentic'
Why Some Women Love Watching Gay Porn

In real life, I've certainly encountered a number of women fascinated with how they boys play...

 

[tallmarriedprof]

Actually, there is an entire genre of gay male porn that is specifically produced for consumption by straight women. This started out as the so-called "slash" stories, the name of which comes from the days when people placed personal ads in print publications, and would include the abbreviation "m/m" to indicate they were looking for a gay encounter. One study found that of the women polled (of all sexual persuasions) that did watch porn, 82% preferred man-on-man. Interestingly, the usual reason cited is that they felt is was more real, that is, that both participants were actually enjoying the action.

Study: Many Women Prefer Gay Male Porn Because It's 'Authentic'
Why Some Women Love Watching Gay Porn

In real life, I've certainly encountered a number of women fascinated with how they boys play...

Yes -- i had a (female) fuck buddy in the past who watched a lot of guy-guy stuff.