Yelling out, "Harder"

[RawDog]

Okay, I've got a question for the women on this forum.

When you, in the throes of passion, yell out, "Harder! Fuck me HARDER!" or something like that, what is it that generally motivates you? Is it that you want more depth because you're tenting and need it deeper inside to be satiated? More of an impact on your clitoris? Could it be wanting to raise the animalistic intensity of the whole act? Is it the friction that you need more of?

More to the point, does anyone actually yell out, "DEEPER! I want you DEEPER!"?

 

[Knight]

Good question. My gf says or shouts "Fuck me harder" or just "Harder" when she's about to cum, I guess it just makes it more intense for her. Then she arches her back and takes me all the way in

Deeper though thats a bit tricky. I mean if I was all the way in and she was saying deeper...well I wouldnt be able to go any deeper. That might actually be a turn off

 

[madame_zora]

Okay, well I can only tell you what it feels like, I don't know of any conclusive research on the female orgasm, but it feels like what Muttley said. During orgasm, it feels like I'm opening up more and I want him inside deeper. Don't worry, Knight, it's not as bad as it seems! It's only a very slight things and just a slight adjustment in forcefulness will do just great! More than anything else, when I'm cumming (which can take a while for the orgasm to complete for a woman) I just don't want him to STOP! So many times men think our orgasms are like theirs- over in a few seconds- which is simply not the case, so if he cums as soon as I start to orgasm, I won't get to finish.

By the way, Knight, your avatars keep getting hotter! Yeow!

 

[Knight]

Thanks Zora Yours is definitely hot too I like, I like.

I did have to pull out once as my gf was cummin...and it seemed like as soon as I pulled out her orgasm stopped lol...is it like that for everyone else?

 

[SexyJean]

I try and stay away from "hard" language like the F-word, only because my husband responds more to gentleness. At the same time, I don't mind talking dirty every now and then and encouraging him by saying things about his size "Ohhh, it feels incredible", "I can't believe you're all the way in!" "God, it feels WONDERFUL" -- things like that.

Hard language doesn't appeal to my dh and if anything, it might put more pressure on him. I've had guys who liked hard language but he isn't one of them.

 

[RawDog]

Thanks for all the responses and they've been enlightening. I thought I had it mostly figured out, but it seems to be deeper (no pun intended) than I thought.

 

[madame_zora]

As far as I know, for most women the orgasm will stop as soon as the stimulation stops, so if you can avoid pulling out at the crucial moment, that would be a good thing.

 

[steve319]

Originally posted by Knight@Apr 2 2005, 03:13 PM
I did have to pull out once as my gf was cummin...and it seemed like as soon as I pulled out her orgasm stopped lol...is it like that for everyone else?

[post=296169]Quoted post[/post]​

That's certainly been my experience. It took me awhile to learn that too, I'm ashamed to say! I've always prided myself on trying to be an attentive and giving partner, but this little timing difference went right over my head in the early years (it's funny how shy we are discussing this stuff when we're just starting out, isn't it?).

Since then, though, it's not been a problem since over the years I've become a big believer in (and practicioner of) foreplay in all it's many varied and lovely forms!
I always try to make sure she's further down the road, so to speak, before I get started.

 

[InsertHere]

Well I'll say it - I say deeper! There's nothing better than that nice deep grinding and sometimes I need to make it very VERY clear that that's what I need to send me over the top!

 

[13788]

illpo: Great post!

 

[The_One]

To what Knight said: Getting deeping can be as simple as a position change. (Ha, Simple on paper, try switching positions while a female is on the verge of orgasm.) From my experience, The Modified Missionary; womens legs on the males shoulders, allows for a deeper penetration, and form what I know, doggy style allowes for the deepest.

 

[13788]

doubtless_mouse: Knight - something I found that works when my wife has asked for just a little more, is to flex my butt (like a kegel (sp?)) it causes a quick full engorgment of the penis which adds a little more length and girth. Another thing that works is just lifting her up (when in missionary). The slight angle change helps you go just a little bit deeper.

While this is off topic (but as the topic is about sex it is still on topic), how many of you penetrate as far as you can and then do the butt flex thing for a few minutes, not stroking just sitting there close together and both of you using muscle control to stimulate? This is something we do everynow and then (sometimes feels great other times not so great). I know on the times that she is receptive to this technique, it has been some of the best sex we have had. I find it to be physically pleasing and emotionally satisfying as you are as close as any two people possibly can be and re-inforcing that closeness with great physical pleasure.


Ramblings from the Mouse

 

[summertime01]

Knight, for me it means for him to thrust a little harder/more forcefully/a little more quicker when I'm on the verge of orgasm

 

[Dr. Dilznick]

Originally posted by madame_zora
So many times men think our orgasms are like theirs- over in a few seconds-

[post=296155]Quoted post[/post]​

Hmmm I think it should be pointed out that not all men fit into this stereotype. My orgasm usually lasts at least 50 seconds, sometimes well over a minute.

 

[Knight]

Nice replies guys. I'll try the butt clenching thing. I stick it in all the way in when she cums til she's done anyways but not for like a prolonged amount of time., could be fun. There's lots of things we still need to try hehe

 

[Kat]

When we start out I let him know when I want him (or the dildo) deeper. However, when I get really hot and bothered I get a real gutter mouth! "Fuck me harder" is one I use quite a bit. Anyway, for me it means bury "it" in me and move faster. Over the years both of us have come to understand each other rhythms and needs pretty well so a few naughty explicatives works wonders!

Kat

 

[LongTimeComing]

The second or third time I was with my current GF she said something that I thought was really hot -- "Don't stop, I'm gonna EXPLODE!"

 

[SexyJean]

Originally posted by Kat@Apr 3 2005, 12:55 PM
When we start out I let him know when I want him (or the dildo) deeper.  However, when I get really hot and bothered I get a real gutter mouth!  "Fuck me harder" is one I use quite a bit.  Anyway, for me it means bury "it" in me and move faster.  Over the years both of us have come to understand each other rhythms and needs pretty well so a few naughty explicatives works wonders!  Kat

[post=296449]Quoted post[/post]​

Kat, perhaps since you and your husband are more experienced than my husband and I, I am not sure this would work for us (esp. him). I've found that the few times I have talked "dirty" he feels more pressure to perform, and as he was not experienced when we dated and married, that's the LAST thing I need him to feel.

For right now, given that we're still pretty "new" in our sexual relationship, my husband responds very well to seductive, soft, come-ons. If he is inside me, this is especially so (especially if it's a more traditional sexual position we're using). If he is placing his cock between my breasts, or shooting over my breasts/stomach, or if I'm giving him a handjob, then I can be a little more graphic. But even then, I never take it to "porn star" level dialogue.

Kat, maybe guys who have had more sex need newer turnons, and harsher language can be that turn-on? Right now, my hubby doesn't need it and if anything, it's a turnoff. I do wonder, though, in 5 or 10 years, if I will be saying the same thing.

 

[BruceSter]

Hi there,

in my relationship with my lady friend, the talk downshifted somewhat in its dirtiness... at the beginning, it was more of an ecstatic screaming and very dirty words (like "Fuck me harder", "Bone my gash", "hammer that cunt") and a lot of deep, guttural groaning and moaning but after some time she moved over to the gentle things too, softer noises. The dirty language and deep groaning still are in use, but don't come as easily as at the beginning of our relationship.


Bruce

 

[Gisella]

No way u are going to catch me yelling "harder" if i'm about to cum but saying: just keep doing what u are doing and dont change a bit !( if u do i will gonna kill u ! )

I can ask harder or deeper or that in any other time BUT not at the time iam almost there.