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Convincing Boy-Friend to Move to NW Ontario

My boyfriend thing eaglebird lives in Nova Scotia as previously posted. I really want him to move back to Ontario and go to school with me to complete a university degree.

I have a few reasons for wanting him to move and I'll list them here:

1)School: school here costs less and you need less required courses for the same program.
-we have the best Nursing facility in Canada.
-I own the books needed for the course, thus reducing his cost of being here.
-his dad is making a fuss because he wants to go back to school to better his life.
-I want him to achieve something great with his life because I know he can and I want to be the person to push him to do it.

2)Friendship/Relationship: he is the only boy I've ever been interested in.
-I want to continue where we left off during the school year.
-Want to wake up to his beautiful face, listen to him laugh during the day and fall asleep next to his warm body.
-I want to spend more time with the sexiest boy ever.
-I want to fuck him many more times.

The issue of me moving there is that the chances of me getting accepted to the university there are slim and I would have to work like crazy to get in.

His reason he claims for not coming this far is that he is too far from his family. But he's almost 19 and I think since he's been away from his family for 2 years that another 4 years after being home for a year and half wont kill him.

Can you guys help me with ideas on how to convince him to move here with me. I know it sounds crazy, but he means the world to me.

Comments

thadjock
did u read this after you wrote it? i'm no dr drew but all of the reasons you want him to move to where u r, are selfish ones and have nothing to do with what he wants.

or here's a thought: he's just not that into you
 
B_Think_Kink
Yeah you're right, him moving to where he can get a better education is selfish. You're a fucking moron, honestly.
 
Principessa
Sorry Tink, I got nothing. :frown1: Truth is changing universities for a relationship is rarely a good idea as it almost never works out. Heck, that was the whole basis of the show Felicity.:rolleyes:

1)School: school here costs less and you need less required courses for the same program.
Click to expand...
-we have the best Nursing facility in Canada.
Click to expand...
This is the only valid point you made. Everything else is based on your feelings and sex which I can guarantee his parents don't give a shit about.
 
thadjock
thanks for the compliment, i'll add "fucking moron" to my trophy shelf.

i was just trying to point out the bleeding obvious.
you wrote:

-I want him to achieve something great with his life because (i need a bf who's worthy) I know he can and
I want to be the person to push him to do it.
(ya, pushy girlfriends who don't think you're maximizing ur potential , are every guy's dream.)

-I want to continue where we left off during the school year.
-Want to wake up to his beautiful face, listen to him laugh during the day and fall asleep next to his warm body.
-I want to spend more time with the sexiest boy ever.
-I want to fuck him many more times.
(i'm sure there's a pattern here...i just can't quite....put my...finger on it....hmmm...)

The issue of me moving there is that the chances of me getting accepted to the university there are slim and I would have to work like crazy to get in.
(yeah, that would involve effort on YOUR part. and even though he "means the world" to you, he's not worth that!)

it sounds crazy, but he means the world to me
(Umm...only half of this statement is true)

it sounds to me like ur boy wants to hang on to his balls a while longer. set your sights on weaker prey. using the "better education" argument to get somebody to do what YOU want is called manipulation, not love.
 
thadjock
OMG! :yikes: Thadjock doesn't know his snarky comments will likely release the kraken! :popcorn:

what part of my comments were "snarky"?

she asked:
Can you guys help me with ideas on how to convince him to move here with me.

I won't be an accomplice to that deception, and all my comments were the truth, i can't help it if she can't handle the truth,

i've just had too many friends who have had their lives jakd around by chicks who think they know what's best for the guy, who then end up dumping the dude because they found another "project" guy to work on.

and didn't you agree with me on substance?
 
Pitbull
If a woman wants an honest male point of view please do not shoot the messenger.

Thad Jock is neither snarky or a fucking moron.

There are 3 components to him making a decision.
1.) What you can offer him
2.) What being in his present school can offer him
3.) The conclusion he has arrived at (logical brain stuff)

Since you cannot offer anymore of anything he might want.
And his school and school life isn't going to undergo any radical transformation.
The only way he will change his mind is if his brain can reach a different conclusion - the request for help with a new convincing argument.

As a guy - can tell you brain does not like throwing out conclusions and adopting new ones. It takes time. A different life outlook must exist.

I have no great argument for you to present him.

I can tell you that trying to push him or pull him will only increase resistance.
We men are like mules.
The more you try to pull us the deeper we dig our heels in.

And the things you wrote are the things that make the typical 19 year old shit his pants and run the other way. Scary stuff.
 
ManlyBanisters
TK - there's no way of convincing him. He has to convince himself.

How about a 3rd option - how about both of you moving somewhere else together?
 
B_Think_Kink
thadjock;bt15600 said:
thanks for the compliment, i'll add "fucking moron" to my trophy shelf.

i was just trying to point out the bleeding obvious.
you wrote:

-I want him to achieve something great with his life because (i need a bf who's worthy) I know he can and
I want to be the person to push him to do it.
(ya, pushy girlfriends who don't think you're maximizing ur potential , are every guy's dream.)
How is it my potential that me being smarter than he is is helping him through university?

-I want to continue where we left off during the school year.
-Want to wake up to his beautiful face, listen to him laugh during the day and fall asleep next to his warm body.
-I want to spend more time with the sexiest boy ever.
-I want to fuck him many more times.
(i'm sure there's a pattern here...i just can't quite....put my...finger on it....hmmm...)
Well yes, they are things I want, outside of the school thing. Good call pointing that out, I'm sure people would have never understood that.

The issue of me moving there is that the chances of me getting accepted to the university there are slim and I would have to work like crazy to get in.
(yeah, that would involve effort on YOUR part. and even though he "means the world" to you, he's not worth that!)
Thank you, I have a learning disability with math, I wouldn't be able to make it into the program.

it sounds crazy, but he means the world to me
(Umm...only half of this statement is true)

it sounds to me like ur boy wants to hang on to his balls a while longer. set your sights on weaker prey. using the "better education" argument to get somebody to do what YOU want is called manipulation, not love.
Click to expand...
It's not manipulation when he knows everything that I've posted here is it? He's not being manipulated into anything.

I asked for further help into getting him over his issue about leaving his family.
 
B_Think_Kink
Pitbull;bt15604 said:
If a woman wants an honest male point of view please do not shoot the messenger.

Thad Jock is neither snarky or a fucking moron.

There are 3 components to him making a decision.
1.) What you can offer him
2.) What being in his present school can offer him
3.) The conclusion he has arrived at (logical brain stuff)

Since you cannot offer anymore of anything he might want.
And his school and school life isn't going to undergo any radical transformation.
The only way he will change his mind is if his brain can reach a different conclusion - the request for help with a new convincing argument.

As a guy - can tell you brain does not like throwing out conclusions and adopting new ones. It takes time. A different life outlook must exist.

I have no great argument for you to present him.

I can tell you that trying to push him or pull him will only increase resistance.
We men are like mules.
The more you try to pull us the deeper we dig our heels in.

And the things you wrote are the things that make the typical 19 year old shit his pants and run the other way. Scary stuff.
Click to expand...
Most, but not him, I've actually asked him if I scare him with me wanting to be with him that badly stuff, he said it doesn't bother him.
 
thadjock
thanks for the compliment, i'll add "fucking moron" to my trophy shelf.

i was just trying to point out the bleeding obvious.
you wrote:

-I want him to achieve something great with his life because (i need a bf who's worthy) I know he can and
I want to be the person to push him to do it.
(ya, pushy girlfriends who don't think you're maximizing ur potential , are every guy's dream.)
How is it my potential that me being smarter than he is is helping him through university?
(you misread what i wrote,--having a GF who doesnt' think YOU ['you' being the dude] are maximizing YOUR ['your' being the dude's] portential is every guys dream [not! it's called sarcasm])
(but it's good u think ur smarter than he is)

-I want to continue where we left off during the school year.
-Want to wake up to his beautiful face, listen to him laugh during the day and fall asleep next to his warm body.
-I want to spend more time with the sexiest boy ever.
-I want to fuck him many more times.
(i'm sure there's a pattern here...i just can't quite....put my...finger on it....hmmm...)
Well yes, they are things I want, outside of the school thing. Good call pointing that out, I'm sure people would have never understood that.
(my point was that it's all about **YOU**. "I want" "I want" "I want".....what about what HE wants????? )

The issue of me moving there is that the chances of me getting accepted to the university there are slim and I would have to work like crazy to get in.
(yeah, that would involve effort on YOUR part. and even though he "means the world" to you, he's not worth that!)
Thank you, I have a learning disability with math, I wouldn't be able to make it into the program.
(this kind of undermines your claim that your university is superior to his if his has higher admittance standards that would exclude u)

it sounds crazy, but he means the world to me
(Umm...only half of this statement is true)

it sounds to me like ur boy wants to hang on to his balls a while longer. set your sights on weaker prey. using the "better education" argument to get somebody to do what YOU want is called manipulation, not love.

have your boy PM me and pitbull, we'd like to have a lil chat with him over beers.
 
B_Think_Kink
thadjock;bt15611 said:
thanks for the compliment, i'll add "fucking moron" to my trophy shelf.

i was just trying to point out the bleeding obvious.
you wrote:

-I want him to achieve something great with his life because (i need a bf who's worthy) I know he can and
I want to be the person to push him to do it.
(ya, pushy girlfriends who don't think you're maximizing ur potential , are every guy's dream.)
How is it my potential that me being smarter than he is is helping him through university?
(you misread what i wrote,--having a GF who doesnt' think YOU ['you' being the dude] are maximizing YOUR ['your' being the dude's] portential is every guys dream [not! it's called sarcasm])
(but it's good u think ur smarter than he is)
-I want to continue where we left off during the school year.
-Want to wake up to his beautiful face, listen to him laugh during the day and fall asleep next to his warm body.
-I want to spend more time with the sexiest boy ever.
-I want to fuck him many more times.
(i'm sure there's a pattern here...i just can't quite....put my...finger on it....hmmm...)
Well yes, they are things I want, outside of the school thing. Good call pointing that out, I'm sure people would have never understood that.
(my point was that it's all about **YOU**. "I want" "I want" "I want".....what about what HE wants????? )

The issue of me moving there is that the chances of me getting accepted to the university there are slim and I would have to work like crazy to get in.
(yeah, that would involve effort on YOUR part. and even though he "means the world" to you, he's not worth that!)
Thank you, I have a learning disability with math, I wouldn't be able to make it into the program.
(this kind of undermines your claim that your university is superior to his if his has higher admittance standards that would exclude u)

it sounds crazy, but he means the world to me
(Umm...only half of this statement is true)

it sounds to me like ur boy wants to hang on to his balls a while longer. set your sights on weaker prey. using the "better education" argument to get somebody to do what YOU want is called manipulation, not love.

have your boy PM me and pitbull, we'd like to have a lil chat with him over beers.
Click to expand...
My university is the best in Canada. Ontario just has different acceptance requirements. You need more credits to get into Ontario, but they give you the option of what you want to take. NS says you need 3 specific ones, and 1 other one.

Like you're arguing a moot point on that, it's just a known fact, we have people coming in from all over the world to attend the university here.

I'd rather you not fill his head with more nonsense. Thanks though.
 
badgirl22
Not knowing the whole relationship, and just taking it based on what you wrote, I'd guess the family thing is just an excuse. Or, perhaps it has to do with his family financially helping him while he's in school, something maybe he really needs. I know this is going to sound so cliche but if the relationship is really that important to him he'll make these decisions on his own or a long distance thing will work. If it's not as important to him as it is to you, then, his decision is made and there's nothing you can do about it.

Sometimes making up excuses is the easiest way to let someone down we've cared about but no longer want to be with without crushing their hearts. We've all been there done that to a certain degree I think.

Good luck with this one. From what I've seen on this site there are some pretty damn cute canadians out there. I'm sure you can find another one.

You are still so young. Take it from an old coot, it's too young to be settling down anyway. Maybe he's realized this.

One more thing, the more you pull him, the further you'll push him away. Move on with your life and he may just come running back to you - his decision, not yours, based on something HE wants.
 
Pitbull
Pitbull;bt15604 said:
And the things you wrote are the things that make the typical 19 year old shit his pants and run the other way. Scary stuff.
Click to expand...

Think_Kink;bt15610 said:
Most, but not him, I've actually asked him if I scare him with me wanting to be with him that badly stuff, he said it doesn't bother him.
Click to expand...

Well he may not be scared but he does not seem to feel the same way.
How you feel isn't changing his mind.
Status Quo is fine.
He feels in control of the situation.
He does not need to commit at the present time.
 
B_Think_Kink
badgirl22;bt15615 said:
Not knowing the whole relationship, and just taking it based on what you wrote, I'd guess the family thing is just an excuse. Or, perhaps it has to do with his family financially helping him while he's in school, something maybe he really needs. I know this is going to sound so cliche but if the relationship is really that important to him he'll make these decisions on his own or a long distance thing will work. If it's not as important to him as it is to you, then, his decision is made and there's nothing you can do about it.

Sometimes making up excuses is the easiest way to let someone down we've cared about but no longer want to be with without crushing their hearts. We've all been there done that to a certain degree I think.

Good luck with this one. From what I've seen on this site there are some pretty damn cute canadians out there. I'm sure you can find another one.

You are still so young. Take it from an old coot, it's too young to be settling down anyway. Maybe he's realized this.

One more thing, the more you pull him, the further you'll push him away. Move on with your life and he may just come running back to you - his decision, not yours, based on something HE wants.
Click to expand...
Thanks, it's just hard because he keeps telling me not to give up on him, he's a great guy, I just don't know what to do with him. Let him go and he looses hope that the person to influenced the change in his life is going to be there. Or hold on and keep hoping for change he might not be able to give himself or me.
 
thadjock
Pitbull;bt15604 said:
Thad Jock is neither snarky or a fucking moron.
Click to expand...

thx pit u seem pretty damn level headed urself.

I'm also glad--if a little suprised--to see women's comments here that essentially back up all my points. I was honestly expecting this to be divided among gender lines. women with reason are rare, i commend you both. now i'm sure that comment will release a firestorm of sexist napalm on me so i'm going to go get my nomex & kevlar underwear on now.
 
B
not to sound so cliche - but if you love something. let it go... and if it come back etc etc
be independant and live your own life
goodluck........... he'll come running eventually
 

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