First of all, you admit that you're killing yourself with your habits. Second, 9/11 is a day that none of us will ever forget. Lastly, keep on writing. It's a great outlet for your feelings and it's something you can go through later and process, 1 item at a time. All the best...
Hey dude, hang in there. 9-11-01 was hard as hell on all of us. I'm a veteran and hey I cried when those planes were hitting the twin towers and pentagon. I wondered where our jet fighters were. I have moved on since then but I,ll never forget that day. Living well is the best revenge! I red that in a muscle magazine under a picture of Conan The Barbarian. I live by this code. Keep your chin up! Your a survivor. Besides you have a GF that sounds hot and you gotta keep her that way. Take care of yourself.
Hi Hangman, you have clinical depression and should get into treatment. With your substance abuse you should avoid anti-depressants if possible because they are habit forming. You should do one of the "talking cures", individual psychotherapy or else group therapy or other counselling. Depression is a dog that won't get off your back without shaking it off. Cost will be a problem. Here in Australia we have Medicare which pays for psychiatric treatment (about 75% covered). In the USA you would need health insurance. Or investigate charities for youth and or mental health. There must be someone willing to see you for free.
I lost my job in tourism because of 9/11 and had to start again. I was seriously traumatised by the horror of that day. I have stood in awe at the top of the WTC and I am so sad that one of my favourite places in the world was destroyed. The annual memorial light show is beautiful and does make me feel better.
Break your routine, go to the beach or the country just to walk in nature. Run or exercise to exhaust your body then go somewhere quiet (a cabin in the woods?) to sleep for a couple of days. Come back to your routine refreshed.
People here care about you. Post when you need to about anything you need to.
