Growing up as a kid was always exciting for me. During my childhood, I've always knew that my mother would soon have another child and hopefully I'd have a little baby brother in my life. I was right on half of what I was hoping. My mother got pregnant and delivered and welcomed a new baby girl to the family on February 14th, Valentines day!
From that day forward and forever on until I die, I never saw Valentines day "The day of love" again. It's not that because my hopes were shattered but because my little new born sister was born quietly, with no heartbeat beating rythymicly in her little chest.
Two days before the delivery, the baby was alive and healthy, moving and all...but when she was born, she had the cord wrapped around her neck three times which resulted upon her death.
On that Valentines day, everyone one was in morn. The sad thing is, the doctors has the skills and the opportunity to save my sisters life, but they didn't.
We were honored to have my 2nd sister be apart of the family, dead or alive, so we named her "Trinity Loveangel Kee", "Trinity" meaning "Three" for being the 3rd born in the family.
A month has passed and mother comes home from work and wakes us up. Us being me, my older sister, and my father. She asks evveryone to come sit in the living room. Me sitting there with a puzzeled look on my face, was wondering what was going on. Then, my mother pulls out an ultrasound photo and hands it to me. I look and I see nothing. I hand it to my sister and with a glow upon her face, she says "I see it!". My mother smiles and says "I'm pregnant!"
Again!? Damn...lol. Long story short, December comes and my mother is nine months pregnant. I could feel the baby moving! I was so excited. Two days before Christmas day, December 23rd, it's time for delivery! I will never forget this day because I was literally there in the room during the birth! I was so fascinated, it blew my mind!
While my mother was pushing, I was sitting in the chair by the window and by the time the doctor told my mother to push for the 3rd time, I was already out of my chair for two reasons. One, because I wated to see thesex of the baby! (I wanted to see his little weiner! LOL) and two, because I wanted to see everything that was going on.
During the third push, my heard was pounding. I felt like it was my baby beling delivered lol. After about ten seconds of bushing, the head was visible! I was in so much awe, it was unbelievabl. Soon, the whole babe was out and I heard something that I haven't heard for a long while...the cry of a baby! It was alive!!
Born on December 23rd at 11:45 AM weighing 6 pounds and 12 ounces, 22 inches long (if the baby would have weighed another pound, the numbers would have been the numbers of my birthday!) a little baby girl was born. "It's a girl!!!" the doctor said. It's a what!? I was happy and sad at the same time. But, it was okai, God gave us back what he took from us. Nyjii'mah T. Loveangel Kee is her name.
It was really super important that both I and my little sister to have my fathers last name "Kee" now but back then (before Trinity or Nyjii'mah) it wasn't that important but I'll explain why it's so important now.
My father was in the same situation I'm dealing with right now. If he had no had any children and he died, that would be the end of the Kee family. But fortunately, he had us, my older sister Jasmine (the first born), me (the middle child), Trinity (the 2nd middle child *not alive*), and Nyjii'mah (The last one). My older sister has my mothers last name and just me and my younger sister has the "Kee" name.
Being the last male Kee is sitting a lot of stress on me. It feels like it's all sitting on my shoulders and it's all up to me if this name is going to continue or not. I feel bad because I'm gay...and I don't want any children. It's not all over, there is still someone else besides me that carries the name and that's my younger sister.
Right now, she is only but 5 years old and when she gets older, I must tell her that it is very very important to name her children with the Kee last name so that the family name could continue on for generations and generations in the future.
I feel that I have a lot of pressure because of this. I feel like I am letting down everyone because I don't want kids....I'm gay and I love guys....lets just hope that my little sister doesn't turn out like my older sister and I...gay.
(Yeah, my older sister is gay too and he has absolutely nothing to do with why I'm gay! Period!)
The only hope I have is for my little sister but no like upon this Earth is promised. She might not live her life to see her have a child and I might not live long to maybe change my mind and be with a woman. But, All that is left to do is pray....just pray.
From that day forward and forever on until I die, I never saw Valentines day "The day of love" again. It's not that because my hopes were shattered but because my little new born sister was born quietly, with no heartbeat beating rythymicly in her little chest.
Two days before the delivery, the baby was alive and healthy, moving and all...but when she was born, she had the cord wrapped around her neck three times which resulted upon her death.
On that Valentines day, everyone one was in morn. The sad thing is, the doctors has the skills and the opportunity to save my sisters life, but they didn't.
We were honored to have my 2nd sister be apart of the family, dead or alive, so we named her "Trinity Loveangel Kee", "Trinity" meaning "Three" for being the 3rd born in the family.
A month has passed and mother comes home from work and wakes us up. Us being me, my older sister, and my father. She asks evveryone to come sit in the living room. Me sitting there with a puzzeled look on my face, was wondering what was going on. Then, my mother pulls out an ultrasound photo and hands it to me. I look and I see nothing. I hand it to my sister and with a glow upon her face, she says "I see it!". My mother smiles and says "I'm pregnant!"
Again!? Damn...lol. Long story short, December comes and my mother is nine months pregnant. I could feel the baby moving! I was so excited. Two days before Christmas day, December 23rd, it's time for delivery! I will never forget this day because I was literally there in the room during the birth! I was so fascinated, it blew my mind!
While my mother was pushing, I was sitting in the chair by the window and by the time the doctor told my mother to push for the 3rd time, I was already out of my chair for two reasons. One, because I wated to see thesex of the baby! (I wanted to see his little weiner! LOL) and two, because I wanted to see everything that was going on.
During the third push, my heard was pounding. I felt like it was my baby beling delivered lol. After about ten seconds of bushing, the head was visible! I was in so much awe, it was unbelievabl. Soon, the whole babe was out and I heard something that I haven't heard for a long while...the cry of a baby! It was alive!!
Born on December 23rd at 11:45 AM weighing 6 pounds and 12 ounces, 22 inches long (if the baby would have weighed another pound, the numbers would have been the numbers of my birthday!) a little baby girl was born. "It's a girl!!!" the doctor said. It's a what!? I was happy and sad at the same time. But, it was okai, God gave us back what he took from us. Nyjii'mah T. Loveangel Kee is her name.
It was really super important that both I and my little sister to have my fathers last name "Kee" now but back then (before Trinity or Nyjii'mah) it wasn't that important but I'll explain why it's so important now.
My father was in the same situation I'm dealing with right now. If he had no had any children and he died, that would be the end of the Kee family. But fortunately, he had us, my older sister Jasmine (the first born), me (the middle child), Trinity (the 2nd middle child *not alive*), and Nyjii'mah (The last one). My older sister has my mothers last name and just me and my younger sister has the "Kee" name.
Being the last male Kee is sitting a lot of stress on me. It feels like it's all sitting on my shoulders and it's all up to me if this name is going to continue or not. I feel bad because I'm gay...and I don't want any children. It's not all over, there is still someone else besides me that carries the name and that's my younger sister.
Right now, she is only but 5 years old and when she gets older, I must tell her that it is very very important to name her children with the Kee last name so that the family name could continue on for generations and generations in the future.
I feel that I have a lot of pressure because of this. I feel like I am letting down everyone because I don't want kids....I'm gay and I love guys....lets just hope that my little sister doesn't turn out like my older sister and I...gay.
(Yeah, my older sister is gay too and he has absolutely nothing to do with why I'm gay! Period!)
The only hope I have is for my little sister but no like upon this Earth is promised. She might not live her life to see her have a child and I might not live long to maybe change my mind and be with a woman. But, All that is left to do is pray....just pray.
