Red Flags and Dating Deception: Catching Liars, Cheaters and Oddballs
Be careful who you trust and take your time getting to know someone
Exercise caution and proceed slowly. What do you really know about this person? How can you be sure? Any suitor must earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Don't give it away for the asking -- and you will be asked. As an added precaution, make sure you set up a secondary email account, to be used just for this relationship, which you can shut down should things seem not right.
Your instincts are right 99% of the time. Trust yourself. Go with your instincts, even when they can't be logically explained. When something feels wrong, it generally is. When someone appears untrustworthy, they usually are.
There are pathological liars everywhere. DON'T believe everything you hear.
Watch for Red Flags and Odd behavior Exhibited by Your Date
You are a smart cookie.....you can spot the unscrupulous and deceitful jerks. They betray themselves with inconsistency and unexplainable behavior.
Be responsible and trustworthy yourself Some say that the lines between honesty, exaggeration and deception have blurred, especially in print personals and online dating. Is it a crime to represent yourself as a few years younger, especially when your friends frequently comment that you don't look your age? Has thinning hair become a euphemism for bald? If we want to hear the truth, we must start by telling the truth, even when it isn't easy or advantageous. And we must conduct ourselves and our romances in a responsible manner. Don't fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don't become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online. Live by standards of honesty and decency. Let the buck stop with you.
Older Men Dating Younger Women
Ten years younger is OK (provided you have some sort of personality and are not a teenager), but we are wary of you-if you marry us, you might leave when we get older for a younger woman who can have babies. If you look more than ten years older than we do, we may not find you attractive, especially if we have managed to stay looking younger than our age. If we can mate with a male who is our age-we will do it. A significant age difference can bring problems from the start of the relationship that never end. Women are more aware of the problems as they hit their 30's and 40's and see the health problems striking male family members in their 50's and 60's. And a woman experiencing this in her own family will think twice before looking at dating or marry men with potential medical issues.
Usually men looking for a younger woman, look for women ten years younger than they are, and women look for men five years younger to five years older. If you are ten years older than we are and don't look it, that's all that matters. No, you don't have to lie about your age. Women live longer and healthier lives at older ages than men. We are living in the sandwich generation, and now that women are exposed to seeing their mother and grandmother taking care of their ill spouse, we think about having to take care of someone older than us...which can stop many romances over 10 years age difference after a few dates. On the other hand, if you have other bargaining points, money, status, height, a vocabulary, the ability to dance, we may be willing to date you despite how old you are. The reality.......singles date within 3-5 years of their age. You see very few singles dating someone more than 5 years older/younger. Unless you are a celebrity or very rich willing to date a gold digger......stick to singles closer to your age.
This is not to say that if you have a disability or a health problem you won't be desirable, it is just one of many factors that someone looks at. Remember, your date is constantly "interviewing" or qualifying you......just some of the list of strong points a date looks for are: 1. financial stability/low or no debt, 2. physically fit, 3. good conversationalist/aware of what is going on in the world around him/her 4. strong/healthy, 5. treat others with kindness and love, 6. goal oriented/stable career with growth, etc.
More Red Flags as you get past the First Date:
Chronic Lateness. For clarity, "chronic" here means "three dates in a row." But three in a row is a pattern, and what the pattern says is: I don't want to get into this. So neither do you. Dump them and move on. You want someone who respects you and your time.
Rudeness and Impatience with Service Help: Waiters and waitresses, taxi drivers, housekeepers, etc. If your date doesn't treat them with kindness and respect, they won't treat you well either.
Scary Divorce or Relationship Breakup Stories. Does your date tell you the entire messy story with all the dirty details by the second date. Admits to Cheating on an Ex Once a cheat, always a cheat.
Deep Attachment Pets Pet owners that talk to their cats or dogs in baby talk, allow their pets on the couch or bed (just unclean and disgusting), talk to their dogs in front of you like a family member have attachment issues. The pet will always come first......Run.
Short Relationship Histories Anyone that is over 35 that has never had a relationship over 3 months has commitment issues and most likely won't be able to commit to you.
Evil Children. Children with behavior and anger issues, don't mind the parent you are dating or show outright hatred towards you. Head for the door.
Money Matters. If a man suggests splitting the tab on a first date, the woman should pay-then bolt. I don't say this is fair, especially if, for instance, the woman is in management and the man is in a lower end job. But it's the way it is, and any man who tries to worm out of his society-given role as tab-picker-upper on the first (or second or third) date for the sake of saving a few bucks is a creep to be ditched.
Dirty Clothing, Underwear and Socks. Clothing must be clean.
Odd or Gross Eating Habits Ketchup On Eggs. Ordering odd dishes every time you are out at a restaurant.
Destructive Habits Does the guy/gal drink too much, chain smoke, or use drugs? "Normally self-destructive people do not limit their damaging behavior to themselves
Truth About Deception Information about lying, deception, cheating, dating, love and romance. Free relationship advice and quizzes.
I think everything they said about older men dating younger women goes for older women dating younger men too.
Gosh, this is depressing information! It almost makes me want to not date.
Be careful who you trust and take your time getting to know someone
In a perfect world we all want to believe that whoever we talk to is an honest and decent person. But in today's real and virtual and worlds, you must guard against trusting the untrustworthy and giving away your love under circumstances that could come back to haunt you.
Exercise caution and proceed slowly. What do you really know about this person? How can you be sure? Any suitor must earn your trust gradually, through consistently honorable, forthright behavior. Don't give it away for the asking -- and you will be asked. As an added precaution, make sure you set up a secondary email account, to be used just for this relationship, which you can shut down should things seem not right.
Your instincts are right 99% of the time. Trust yourself. Go with your instincts, even when they can't be logically explained. When something feels wrong, it generally is. When someone appears untrustworthy, they usually are.
There are pathological liars everywhere. DON'T believe everything you hear.
Watch for Red Flags and Odd behavior Exhibited by Your Date
You are a smart cookie.....you can spot the unscrupulous and deceitful jerks. They betray themselves with inconsistency and unexplainable behavior.
Be responsible and trustworthy yourself Some say that the lines between honesty, exaggeration and deception have blurred, especially in print personals and online dating. Is it a crime to represent yourself as a few years younger, especially when your friends frequently comment that you don't look your age? Has thinning hair become a euphemism for bald? If we want to hear the truth, we must start by telling the truth, even when it isn't easy or advantageous. And we must conduct ourselves and our romances in a responsible manner. Don't fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don't become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online. Live by standards of honesty and decency. Let the buck stop with you.
Older Men Dating Younger Women
Ten years younger is OK (provided you have some sort of personality and are not a teenager), but we are wary of you-if you marry us, you might leave when we get older for a younger woman who can have babies. If you look more than ten years older than we do, we may not find you attractive, especially if we have managed to stay looking younger than our age. If we can mate with a male who is our age-we will do it. A significant age difference can bring problems from the start of the relationship that never end. Women are more aware of the problems as they hit their 30's and 40's and see the health problems striking male family members in their 50's and 60's. And a woman experiencing this in her own family will think twice before looking at dating or marry men with potential medical issues.
Usually men looking for a younger woman, look for women ten years younger than they are, and women look for men five years younger to five years older. If you are ten years older than we are and don't look it, that's all that matters. No, you don't have to lie about your age. Women live longer and healthier lives at older ages than men. We are living in the sandwich generation, and now that women are exposed to seeing their mother and grandmother taking care of their ill spouse, we think about having to take care of someone older than us...which can stop many romances over 10 years age difference after a few dates. On the other hand, if you have other bargaining points, money, status, height, a vocabulary, the ability to dance, we may be willing to date you despite how old you are. The reality.......singles date within 3-5 years of their age. You see very few singles dating someone more than 5 years older/younger. Unless you are a celebrity or very rich willing to date a gold digger......stick to singles closer to your age.
This is not to say that if you have a disability or a health problem you won't be desirable, it is just one of many factors that someone looks at. Remember, your date is constantly "interviewing" or qualifying you......just some of the list of strong points a date looks for are: 1. financial stability/low or no debt, 2. physically fit, 3. good conversationalist/aware of what is going on in the world around him/her 4. strong/healthy, 5. treat others with kindness and love, 6. goal oriented/stable career with growth, etc.
More Red Flags as you get past the First Date:
Chronic Lateness. For clarity, "chronic" here means "three dates in a row." But three in a row is a pattern, and what the pattern says is: I don't want to get into this. So neither do you. Dump them and move on. You want someone who respects you and your time.
Rudeness and Impatience with Service Help: Waiters and waitresses, taxi drivers, housekeepers, etc. If your date doesn't treat them with kindness and respect, they won't treat you well either.
Scary Divorce or Relationship Breakup Stories. Does your date tell you the entire messy story with all the dirty details by the second date. Admits to Cheating on an Ex Once a cheat, always a cheat.
Deep Attachment Pets Pet owners that talk to their cats or dogs in baby talk, allow their pets on the couch or bed (just unclean and disgusting), talk to their dogs in front of you like a family member have attachment issues. The pet will always come first......Run.
Short Relationship Histories Anyone that is over 35 that has never had a relationship over 3 months has commitment issues and most likely won't be able to commit to you.
Evil Children. Children with behavior and anger issues, don't mind the parent you are dating or show outright hatred towards you. Head for the door.
Money Matters. If a man suggests splitting the tab on a first date, the woman should pay-then bolt. I don't say this is fair, especially if, for instance, the woman is in management and the man is in a lower end job. But it's the way it is, and any man who tries to worm out of his society-given role as tab-picker-upper on the first (or second or third) date for the sake of saving a few bucks is a creep to be ditched.
Dirty Clothing, Underwear and Socks. Clothing must be clean.
Odd or Gross Eating Habits Ketchup On Eggs. Ordering odd dishes every time you are out at a restaurant.
Destructive Habits Does the guy/gal drink too much, chain smoke, or use drugs? "Normally self-destructive people do not limit their damaging behavior to themselves
Truth About Deception Information about lying, deception, cheating, dating, love and romance. Free relationship advice and quizzes.
I think everything they said about older men dating younger women goes for older women dating younger men too.
Gosh, this is depressing information! It almost makes me want to not date.
