A Major Loss - Mourning

[cedarizzo]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I went through something similar many years ago. My partner and I were watching a movie when he slumped over from a major heart attack. His family was polite to me the day after he died. They agreed to go to the funeral home with me and make the arrangements. I showed up at the appointment only to find out they had showed up an hour earlier and made all the plans without me. The only thing they worried about was his wallet/debit card/credit cards. They had promised to help cover his share of the rent/bills we had. When the funeral and burial were done, I never heard from them again. They did call a few months later because they needed some of his paperwork. They made sure to let me know that all his life insurance policies never got switched over and all his money was going to 2 of his nephews. He was 37 when he died, we never planned on anything like that. My heart goes out to you. I kind of know what you are going through. I hope you have friends to help keep your mind off everything. I hope you can find peace, especially during this holiday season.

 

[noirman]

Losing someone you love can be and usually is devastating.My condolences and sincere wish that you find peace of mind.

 

[larsmi]

My condolences for your enormous loss. Grief is so complex.

 

[danimal32]

I am so sorry for your loss and what you are currently going through. When someone you love passes away, it is never easy. Add the close proximity to the Holidays and it makes it even much harder. Those first Thanksgivings,Christmases, birthdays, etc., are rough. Do the best you can and please know it is fine to be sad, (this is all very recent), and take the time that you need to grieve. You honored his final wishes, you know you were loved and you have many memories (and pictures) that will contribute to your wonderful memories of your long-term relationship with him.

 

[ronin001]

Sorry, for your loss

 

[ChickenExotic]

Really sorry for your loss...

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

So sorry for your loss. It's very clear how much you loved your partner. I hope that love helps carry you through such a difficult time.

 

[134166]

A man who I have spent the vast majority of my adult life with passed away in the wee hours of Sunday morning. My partner of 15 years, my friend, my travel companion and everything else in between is gone.

Sexually we had stopped being compatible and did fool around with others, however we loved each other and going through the thousands of photos of the past 15 years I can see that. Multiple breathing complications, an infection, topped off with a flu shot when he had an infection caused him to get really sick really fast. He did not want to go to the hospital and his request has always been for the past 12 years was to die at home with the person he loved most.

His family were always nasty to him and I really wish they weren't a part of this process but they are. They are vicious and jealous and I really wish they knew how much he really did love them, regardless of how nasty they were to him.

Being so close to Christmas brings me into a different kind of depressed funk. Between friends at church and my cat I am slowly getting through this. Building a relationship with someone for 15 years and then all of a sudden they pass away is really really not easy. I did love him and I still do. I needed to express what was going on. The end of a beautiful relationship through death is definitely not an easy thing

I’m sorry for your loss :-(. It’s difficult to see those who shine a bright life into our lives fade away. That energy they radiate is truly the many mysteries of comfort and joy. Remember this though, energy never dies. That energy he radiated, now surrounds you and those he knew and made a difference in their lives. Transfer that energy onto others...this way his legacy will continue on a never ending ripple.

 

[BillM]

So sorry for Your loss and You now have a beautiful angel looking over You!!

 

[icaro0911]

My deepest condolences.

 

[Gj816]

A man who I have spent the vast majority of my adult life with passed away in the wee hours of Sunday morning. My partner of 15 years, my friend, my travel companion and everything else in between is gone.

Sexually we had stopped being compatible and did fool around with others, however we loved each other and going through the thousands of photos of the past 15 years I can see that. Multiple breathing complications, an infection, topped off with a flu shot when he had an infection caused him to get really sick really fast. He did not want to go to the hospital and his request has always been for the past 12 years was to die at home with the person he loved most.

His family were always nasty to him and I really wish they weren't a part of this process but they are. They are vicious and jealous and I really wish they knew how much he really did love them, regardless of how nasty they were to him.

Being so close to Christmas brings me into a different kind of depressed funk. Between friends at church and my cat I am slowly getting through this. Building a relationship with someone for 15 years and then all of a sudden they pass away is really really not easy. I did love him and I still do. I needed to express what was going on. The end of a beautiful relationship through death is definitely not an easy thing

I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep your head up as best you can. And yes you will get through this. I'm glad that you have a group of friends that are rallying around you.

Please feel free to DM if you want/need to talk. I have you in my thoughts for the coming days. Take care of yourself as you go through this grieving process.

 

[Countryguy63]

So sorry for your loss

 

[Scarletbegonia]

A man who I have spent the vast majority of my adult life with passed away in the wee hours of Sunday morning. My partner of 15 years, my friend, my travel companion and everything else in between is gone.

Sexually we had stopped being compatible and did fool around with others, however we loved each other and going through the thousands of photos of the past 15 years I can see that. Multiple breathing complications, an infection, topped off with a flu shot when he had an infection caused him to get really sick really fast. He did not want to go to the hospital and his request has always been for the past 12 years was to die at home with the person he loved most.

His family were always nasty to him and I really wish they weren't a part of this process but they are. They are vicious and jealous and I really wish they knew how much he really did love them, regardless of how nasty they were to him.

Being so close to Christmas brings me into a different kind of depressed funk. Between friends at church and my cat I am slowly getting through this. Building a relationship with someone for 15 years and then all of a sudden they pass away is really really not easy. I did love him and I still do. I needed to express what was going on. The end of a beautiful relationship through death is definitely not an easy thing

My deepest condolences, Wally.
May All That Is grant you strength and grace in the coming weeks, to deal with family, friends and any fall out.
In the weeks into months into years ahead, May your love sustain you.

 

[Beardon]

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and nice messages. I am not completely alone Francis the Cat keeps me company, she is wonderful and honestly that's what is keeping me going, I depend on her as much as she depends on me. For Christmas a group of us that originally did not have plans for Christmas are going to Chinese Buffet and then hanging out afterwards. This way none of us will be alone for Christmas. Christmas eve will be my usual church service. It will be difficult and it has been difficult, having to go and pay for his cremation and make memorial service arrangements has not been easy, but I will get through, I have to.

Dear buddy...please try to celebrate your best friend’s life. All the wonderful times spent together whether laughing, sleeping, hugging, and even crying. Life is so delicate as you especially have so sadly found out. My love and kisses to Francis...a four legged angel who can and will help you through this tragedy. And lastly, always stay loyal to your friends as we all know we can turn to them for anything....so much easier than family. I’ve been down that road and it certainly is not something to treasure. I wish I could be there with you all of you at the Chinese buffet...actually for 2 reasons...one..to raise a glass to toast your beloved mate and 2...also to give you a great big hug. I’ll be thinking of you...and please stay strong...you are truly loved Take care of yourself my friend.

 

[Nikita222]

Look after yourself mate

 

[thebiggulp]

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and nice messages. I am not completely alone Francis the Cat keeps me company, she is wonderful and honestly that's what is keeping me going, I depend on her as much as she depends on me. For Christmas a group of us that originally did not have plans for Christmas are going to Chinese Buffet and then hanging out afterwards. This way none of us will be alone for Christmas. Christmas eve will be my usual church service. It will be difficult and it has been difficult, having to go and pay for his cremation and make memorial service arrangements has not been easy, but I will get through, I have to.

Wally, I really feel for you. Cling to Francis when you need to, because sometimes you'll feel like that's the only thing keeping you afloat. My partner of 23+ years died in February. It's been a difficult, terrible and wonderful year for me. The strangest ride that I could ever imagine. Grieving is different for everyone. Take all of the time that you need. If you need to, reach out to others, myself included. Be kind to yourself.

 

[Beardon]

Wally, I really feel for you. Cling to Francis when you need to, because sometimes you'll feel like that's the only thing keeping you afloat. My partner of 23+ years died in February. It's been a difficult, terrible and wonderful year for me. The strangest ride that I could ever imagine. Grieving is different for everyone. Take all of the time that you need. If you need to, reach out to others, myself included. Be kind to yourself.

Beautiful words my friend. Stay well and please take care of yourself. Always live for the future but never forget how you’ve gotten there. You are loved, buddy.

 

[hue]

Sorry, for your loss

cherish the best memories

 

[g0nz0]

So dreadfully sorry to hear about your loss... my deepest sympathies.

 

[BennyT]

I feel your pain.... my wife of 40 years passed on Friday. She had been sick for years and I thought I was ready. Boy was I wrong. I had no idea. The pain and emotional tidal wave is far mor intense than I could ever have imagined. My heart is worse than broken...Being alone is hard. Being with people is harder. I wish you the best. I don’t have any advice...Just keep putting one foot in front of the other.......