Age gap between partners

[sangheili90]

I was thinking about this very subject today and was wondering if people see age as just a number or if it going beyond a specific age is seen as odd or undesirable. I've noticed a lot of attractive older women out there, though they represent a very small minority of the population, and never felt this was an issue at all, but I also feel that there is more of a taboo associated with this when the older partner is a male and the younger one is a female, I'm excluded homosexual relationships here. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think there is an ideal age difference or does it come down to whether or not their is an initial attraction at all.

 

[sangheili90]

Sorry for all the grammatical errors I made, auto correct is rather annoying.

 

[TexanStar]

Do you think there is an ideal age difference or does it come down to whether or not their is an initial attraction at all.

Divide the older person's age by two, then add seven. If their ages are between those two numbers it's probably fine. Beyond that may be okay too, but it starts to depend a lot more on the specific relationship and it's more likely to garner odd looks.

Like it's completely legal for a 40 year old to date a 30 year old, and it's similarly legal for a 40 year old to date a 20 year old, but no one's going to give a couple where one is 40 and one is 30 any strange looks.

 

[sangheili90]

Divide the older person's age by two, then add seven. If their ages are between those two numbers it's probably fine. Beyond that may be okay too, but it starts to depend a lot more on the specific relationship and it's more likely to garner odd looks.

Like it's completely legal for a 40 year old to date a 30 year old, and it's similarly legal for a 40 year old to date a 20 year old, but no one's going to give a couple where one is 40 and one is 30 any strange looks.

I've heard that formula, whether or not it means anything is beyond me though lol. I feel like I am at the age where I am attractive to almost any age, I've been paying a lot of attention lately and it ranges from girls who just hit puberty, lmfao I am not a predator, and every age above that. I seem to be mostly attracted to girls around the 20-24 area so that is probably an ideal for me.

 

[Doranq]

I was thinking about this very subject today and was wondering if people see age as just a number or if it going beyond a specific age is seen as odd or undesirable. I've noticed a lot of attractive older women out there, though they represent a very small minority of the population, and never felt this was an issue at all, but I also feel that there is more of a taboo associated with this when the older partner is a male and the younger one is a female, I'm excluded homosexual relationships here. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think there is an ideal age difference or does it come down to whether or not their is an initial attraction at all.

I experience that as well. I find myself heavily attracting the opposite sex across the entire age spectrum. As for who I tend to be sexually attracted to would fall in the range of 18-35. For the range that I would probably date would be 20-30. Ideal age in regards to the applied application towards myself would be within a 5 year span. -2, 0, +2. If I meet someone and I think there is a good relationship to be had then naturally I may lean outside my ideal or preferred range for age disparity.

As for the affairs of others. I have no interests. There is no reason for me to care. That is their relationship, not mine. At best I might ponder to whether or not I would fancy a relationship such as that. Most times I don't even pay others the slightest of thoughts. They have no bearings on my immediate or everyday life.

If I were to say what matters it would be simply these things. Attraction, common interests, common experiences, common goals, compatible outlooks and morals, compatible personalities, compatible lifestyles, and compatible sex drives should sex be apart of that relationship. How much age plays a factors in all this ultimately comes down to the individual.

Pursue who you want so long as they are of age. Other's opinions matter very little to none. The only time they matter are in uncommon or rare circumstances.

 

[sangheili90]

I experience that as well. I find myself heavily attracting the opposite sex across the entire age spectrum. As for who I tend to be sexually attracted to would fall in the range of 18-35. For the range that I would probably date would be 20-30. Ideal age in regards to the applied application towards myself would be within a 5 year span. -2, 0, +2. If I meet someone and I think there is a good relationship to be had then naturally I may lean outside my ideal or preferred range for age disparity.

As for the affairs of others. I have no interests. There is no reason for me to care. That is their relationship, not mine. At best I might ponder to whether or not I would fancy a relationship such as that. Most times I don't even pay others the slightest of thoughts. They have no bearings on my immediate or everyday life.

If I were to say what matters it would be simply these things. Attraction, common interests, common experiences, common goals, compatible outlooks and morals, compatible personalities, compatible lifestyles, and compatible sex drives should sex be apart of that relationship. How much age plays a factors in all this ultimately comes down to the individual.

Pursue who you want so long as they are of age. Other's opinions matter very little to none. The only time they matter are in uncommon or rare circumstances.

I think both of us appearing to attracting women/girls across the entire age spectrum is a good thing for us lol, hopefully I can maintain what I have going for me for a while. From what I have seen, men who are facially attractive and stay fit/take care of themselves seem to age pretty well and can look good well into their 40s. I really don't care about the age gap, I'm back in college this semester and I noticed a lot of 18-20 year old females who would watch me when I walked by, so I shouldn't think the age thing is an issue.

 

[someperson]

I've heard that formula, whether or not it means anything is beyond me though lol. I feel like I am at the age where I am attractive to almost any age, I've been paying a lot of attention lately and it ranges from girls who just hit puberty, lmfao I am not a predator, and every age above that. I seem to be mostly attracted to girls around the 20-24 area so that is probably an ideal for me.

yeah i like my friends mom I'm very sexually attracted to her. shes 43 yo. im 28 next week..she has the right touch and can give me extremely powerful orgasm.. one day when she was feeling me up. .i think i fucked it up though but i got her number but she is with some 1 now. i hope that it does not work out and maybe i could have some fun with her.

 

[french_lp]

It all comes down to attraction and love. @Adle and I have a 9 years gap, me being the oldest.

 

[TexanStar]

From what I have seen, men who are facially attractive and stay fit/take care of themselves seem to age pretty well and can look good well into their 40s.

Fitness Schmitness

Truth is I was in much better shape in my 20's than I am now in my 40's. I'm about 50 lbs overweight now, my hair is saying adios, etc. And yet... I get waaay more attention from women now than I ever did when I was younger (when I got almost none). It just boils down to how you carry yourself, how you communicate and interact with others, etc.

 

[DaisyDoesIt]

My Master/Mentor is twice my age and remains the best lover I've ever had.

 

[KennF]

I find it isn't about the number at all. It is about the maturity level and point of life they each one is at.

In your 20's, you are more likely to be experimenting and looking around at what you do like versus what you don't like. You aren't really settling down. You have your ideals and are hoping for that.

In your 30's, you tend to less to be interested in Mr/Mrs Right Now. You are looking for someone to grow a life together. You still have your ideal, but you also realize that there is a sharing that happens. A give and take, and that you may not get perfection to your ideal, but you are willing to consider what makes you happy.

In your 40's, life is shifting. The physical isn't anywhere near as important as it was in your 20's. As the line from Rent goes "Life's too short, time is flying. I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine." You realize you've got your own issues, and what you want is someone that accepts those issues and makes you happy.

In your 50's, you're looking for someone who can make you happy and challenge you to do better for yourself. Or the person you feel you can support and make them better.

Those numbers are very general. But the maturity is there. A 26 year old make be completely into finding Mr or Mrs Right, instead of how many different samples they can try. And people from different maturity levels can be VERY happy. As long as the expectations are clear and honest.

So, age is just a number

 

[gentle]

I just turned 50 years old, my parter of 4 years now is 27 years old, We started dating when he was 23 years old.

 

[43698]

I am 38 and my wife is 46. I wanted a woman that was older than me. At the time we met I was 29 and she was 37. It worked out quite nicely for both of us. We really hit it off and had some nice conversations. Then when it came time for show and tell we were both very pleased. So far we have been together for 9 years and will be hitting 10 soon.

 

[LaFemme]

I agree with @KennF. It's about maturity and where you are in life. I tend to get along better with younger men. Younger men aren't into traditional gender roles and we tend to like the same things. However, I am not into marriage or children. And I don't want to saddle a younger man with my health issues. Not a huge issue now, but they will be and my energy level is lower because of them.

So I think it can absolutely work, but people need to be fair with each other. What works now might not work in 25 years.

 

[shankity]

I'm 34 and starting to see a guy who's 49. On the contrary went out a few times a couple months ago who was 23. It's all about the personality and attraction for me.

 

[sangheili90]

Fitness Schmitness

Truth is I was in much better shape in my 20's than I am now in my 40's. I'm about 50 lbs overweight now, my hair is saying adios, etc. And yet... I get waaay more attention from women now than I ever did when I was younger (when I got almost none). It just boils down to how you carry yourself, how you communicate and interact with others, etc.

This may be the case for you, but gaining a lot of weight will definitely diminish a man's chances of attracting a female. I don't care what anyone says, this is completely true and you are just deluding yourself into believing nonsense.

 

[sangheili90]

Fitness Schmitness

Truth is I was in much better shape in my 20's than I am now in my 40's. I'm about 50 lbs overweight now, my hair is saying adios, etc. And yet... I get waaay more attention from women now than I ever did when I was younger (when I got almost none). It just boils down to how you carry yourself, how you communicate and interact with others, etc.

I wasn't making fun of you when I said that, just to clarify my previous post, but thinking that you can get fat and not have it influence your ability to find a partner is simply not true.

 

[KennF]

I wasn't making fun of you when I said that, just to clarify my previous post, but thinking that you can get fat and not have it influence your ability to find a partner is simply not true.

By the same token, you can shave you beard off, grow a mustache, pierce an ear, get a tattoo, and it all influences your ability to attract some people. Others, just don't care about your looks.

Things change over time. After a time, people are attracted to confidence, attitude, and Joie de vivre, more than physique.

 

[Auggiecakes]

I was thinking about this very subject today and was wondering if people see age as just a number or if it going beyond a specific age is seen as odd or undesirable. I've noticed a lot of attractive older women out there, though they represent a very small minority of the population, and never felt this was an issue at all, but I also feel that there is more of a taboo associated with this when the older partner is a male and the younger one is a female, I'm excluded homosexual relationships here. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think there is an ideal age difference or does it come down to whether or not their is an initial attraction at all.

I'd never be with someone who is five years older than me.... I Know for me that it would never work out. There would be too many differences. And also I'm not attracted to people younger than me so there's that too.

 

[AlteredEgo]

You know what has happened with all but one significantly older man I was with? Eventually some woman I don't know gets in my face. And always because of Facebook.

Today, I paid a sincere, unromantic compliment to an ex lover who was joking that he's perfect. "I don't know about perfect, but you're wonderful." The current girlfriend had to make absolutely sure I knew who she was. As if I didn't immediately know when he started seeing her. As if I couldn't enumerate every doubt he's ever had about her and whether or not she "vibrates at a compatible frequency". As if I am not part of the reason she can still emphasize that he is her "baby". Woman, please. As if I couldn't have lifed that up if I had wanted to. We're just friends. We figured out a long time ago he's not for me and I'm not for him.

Over a decade passed since last contact with a particular ex who was twice my age. Current girlfriend is a few years older than I am. He discovers Facebook, and since I have the same cell number I've always had, he finds me quickly and connects. We exchange pleasantries. Months go by. No further contact is made. Actually, he called once, he flirted a little but I didn't respond in kind. He, as he always has, told me a bunch of dirty secrets. He's definitely cheating on her with a couple of men who are also cheating on women. It's what he does. He cheats. He always has. Would have cheated on me with her if we'd been monogamous when they met. I stopped seeing him when they started to get serious. I stopped speaking to him when our friendship needed a cover story. If she ever reached out to me, I was supposed to tell her we never dated and we met at an Angie Stone wrap party. I was happy to know that they'd lasted so many years. Then I was sad when she began contacting me on Facebook demanding to know who I am and how I know him. It was a relief when she went away. He's left voicemail a few times in the years since then.

If I'm ever single again, which I hope never to be, I won't go that old again. They always move forward from me with women who make me wonder if I acted as crazy and insecure as they do, and if men secretly prefer insecurity.