alpha guys question... a new angle

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by mplsingleguy, Apr 6, 2010.

  1. mplsingleguy

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    Here's an honest question that you should be able without reading anything into the question (i.e. no flaming....) I'm not interested in getting anyone angry or feeling threatened or challenged, instead I'm creating a spot what this board is known for: some great conversation and thoughful self-consideration as our societal standards and norms are changing.

    Are you 100% straight because you can't picture yourself anything less than 100% heterosexual- or enjoying your maleness in privacy with a trusted buddy, or whatever... or

    are you 100% straight because you TRIED something, did something, watched something, etc that 'fixed' your decision to your current self definition?

    Are there any guys on the board that once had an open minded feeling towards exploring their personal growth- took a risk, made a choice, but decided that they best belonged with a 100% number for themselves?
    I think it might be very interesting and actually cool for some guys here to share what they have experienced and what factors cause some of our buddies on the board to define themselves as "alpha males..."

    There's lots of guys on the board that are always advocates of 'do what feels right' and others who feel that any sort of guy-guy contact is, or should be, forbidden.

    Most guys fall somewhere in between, or are at least pretty even-keeled about letting his fellow buddy's cock get some pleasure in other ways than he'd pursue himself. For the most part, I think guys on the board are fairly open-minded...

    but those who represent a black and white, no margin of error, completely MF exclusive viewpoint are normally balls-to-the-wall protective of defending their more focused mindset, and our archive is filled with lots of anger and bile- and lots of banned members. So let's hear from these guys in a safe thread where the pressure is off, and your views are securely respected as part of the whole that makes up the spectrum of ideas that are represented on the board.

    Specifically, what factors have shaped you to define yourself as 100% heterosexual? On a board that unabashedly nurtures the broader and fluid aspects of human sexuality, why do you feel you represent the extreme end of the measuring stick and not somewhere along the line?

    Looking forward to some well-expressed and thoughtful responses from many of our bros that usually are shut down to very short and oversimplified comments and remarks... and guys let's let them share without shame or fear that they will get cold cocked for what they say!
     
  2. blutrane

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    I've got some rambling midnight musings for you.

    I'm an extremely affectionate person. Being an artist and musician, I've grown up around plenty of gay friends, both male and female. I'm very comfortable with being around a whole mix of sexual persuasions, and I'm very comfortable with my sexuality and being openly loving. I used to give myself a 1% gay on the basis of the fact that I believe I have the capacity to be physically affectionate towards anyone. I'm comfortable giving a hug to a man and otherwise physically expressing my affection for their person, but have never had the desire to take it to a sexual place.

    When I started to interact more with this site, I encountered a lot more gay content than I found I was comfortable with. The attention from gay men is flattering and all, but I find that I don't really respond to homosexual content in photos and videos. I can look at it if it pops up, but don't really seek it out. I've always been aroused by women and still am. I check women out all the time reflexively, which is enough of a sign to me alone that I know where my preferences are. I do, however, respond strongly to the idea of large penises, and having a bigger penis, and the power associated with it. Something about it is a huge turn on to me, but it never came from a place that had anything to do with m/m action. If anything it's more of a self-centered thing, as unattractive as that may come off (hey, I gotta be honest! :rolleyes:).

    There's a strange tension here between attraction to the masculine power associated with a large penis and homoerotic attraction. They are different, but it's not immediately clear how. I can be turned on by an image of a large penis, but feel uncomfortable with even the thought of kissing a man. Anal sex, with any gender, is a disgusting notion to me. So what does that make me? I know that I'm particularly attracted to a female's chemistry with a large penis. There's a heightened intensity there that I seek in all forms of expression (nothing turns me on more than intense female arousal). When a girl comments on my size it's arousing to me, but nothing is as arousing as the way she expresses herself as a result of my size (and everything else, hopefully). In the end, as open as I picture myself to be, I think it has more to do with instincts, not what you picture. Whatever percent you think you are, if that's what best represents your urges as a human being, you have every reason to be comfortable with that.
     
  3. hung

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    Great Topic. During my tender youth I did experiment with sexual activity that is considered Homosexual.

    This experience has allowed me to realize that I am a Hetrosexual because I now know what I desire, what I am and what I desire.

    I also appreciate this site because it allows me to interact with other males. We are all aware that we have a penis. I appreciate my penis and often visit this site to look at others.

    That stated, I also know that Hetro females also look at each other for the sake of comparision.

    I have no problem of identifying myself at 100% Hetro at this time. I know who I am and enjoy my life. I also appreciate the experiences I had during my tender youth.

    Life is the sum of one's total experiences in that life.
     
  4. cyclistlarge

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    Props to Bluetrain for his avatar and name. I have friends who are now about to get married who i messed around with during adolescence. I'm quite sure they are straight and that I'm not. they know I'm gay and it's not a big deal. They were just getting their bearing sexually. as for each individual on here; it would be a case by case basis.
     
  5. jonnygros

    jonnygros New Member

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    i experimented some and a couple times of fooling around was enough to satisfy my curiosity. i now know that girls are what i'm 100% interested in. I do catch myself peter-gazing from time to time.
     
  6. blutrane

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    Trane is God. Now THAT'S some big-dicked sax playing.
     
  7. Incocknito

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    I feel the same way about sex with men as gay men feel about sex with women.
     
  8. gunit56_17

    gunit56_17 New Member

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    I put the 1% there for a reason. I experimented as a teenager, enjoyed it and am not beyond a furtherance as an adult, never say never!
     
  9. 8060

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    Bravo to mplsingleguy, our OP, for a very sound post that was full of thought and very interesting. As many threads as I've seen on this board, I don't think that that topic has been pulled out of the barrel yet. Well done.

    blutrane: That was Excellent response. It was mature, sincere, confident and direct without being abrasive. It lacked any ignorance at all to me. Sometimes it's the ignorance that will kill a very good OP here. Applause to you as well.

    I'm not 100% straight and cannot comment on this question. So I'm going enjoy the rest of show. I must say that I have enjoyed the opening scene.
     
  10. DV8

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    Well personally, I identify myself as a gay male, but I've slept with women, can sleep with women, and plan on sleeping with women (married couples, and porn if I decide to do it). However, it's not something that I would do often- hardly once in a while, and I can't date women for shit. I'm not turned off by women, I'm just not that turned on.
     
  11. Countryguy63

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    Question to mplsingleguy...What do you consider to be an "Alpha Guy"?
     
  12. mplsingleguy

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    answering country's question, I chose the term "alpha guy" because I'd argue that any guy who places themselves as 100% male would do so because they don't wish to even consider a 99% or 90% or any other split number. If they are deliberately representing a pure HETERO viewpoint (being 'the very base of the totem pole') then they would, defacto, be the stereotypical guy who is going on the make and out to win the sexual conquest by his alignment to stereotypical roleplay and that's it.

    Again, I'm not trying to pidgeon hole anyone- the exact opposite is true. We have a choice to include a numeric value on the board, and whether to have that included on our profile. Not everyone includes it- some members leave that part blank by choice. So the question is directed to the guys who CHOOSE to make their number a full dollar bill. Simply, "Why?"

    It's not asked to get anyone to grab pitchforks and protect the homestead from the attacking villagers. It's asked to ask the guys who normally don't say anything, for reason of self protection or lack of taking the time to think about the reason, to share a bit about themselves.

    Perhaps the term "alpha guy" means different things to different guys. Maybe some 100% dudes are "playas" who are looking for conquests all the time. Maybe others are devoted husbands who have decided to seduce their wives over and over, but still find joy visiting this site occasionally or regularly.

    The point is, these guys don't usually share- and so this thread gives them a place to say why they are what they represent themselves to be on their profile- and maybe give us a new reason to appreciate why diversity (ALL TYPES and ALL VIEWS) actually does make LPSG a better place.
     
  13. D_Dagleishe Deadlyfarte

    D_Dagleishe Deadlyfarte Account Disabled

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    My percent is 90/10 because I have experimented in the past and would like to continue to experiment until I find a clear answer. I still find women incredibly attractive, but my fear of rejection bothers me... especially from women! Once I get to know her, it's all gravy, but its that breaking the ice moment that scares the shit out of me!

    It's hard trying to do all the crap to get a respectable woman to notice me. I guess being a lil chubby doesn't help either. I'm all kinds of fucked up y'all! Lol!
     
  14. houtx48

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    100% str8 guys are a rare as hen's teeth.
     
  15. THEDUDEofDestiny

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    I have gay friends, I am perfectly uncomfortable saying that a male is attractive, and don't find homosxuality to be offensive/gross. That being said I have never felt any physical attraction to a male and have no sexual desire or curiosity with them. To be honest, I don't really know why women find men sexually attractive. The Seinfeld about the male body being utilitarian and for getting around and the female body being a work of art really rings true to me.
     
  16. THEDUDEofDestiny

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    Im not sure I approve of alpha male being used to describe 100% straight males. I know some gay men who are alpha males, and I am more of a beta male myself (unless Im drunk which is often). It is more how you carry yourself.
     
  17. blutrane

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    I'm with the Dude on this one. Again, masculine power and homoeroticism are not mutually exclusive, nor are they necessarily opposing forces. I'm 100% straight, but am no alpha male by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe it's a cultural thing that dictates that kind of opinion, as it can be perceived as "gay" by some to be sensitive, caring, romantic, you know...things that women actually LIKE.
     
  18. OCMuscleJock

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    I have to agree with Dude on this topic as well. Yah I know my profile says 80% on the gay side, HOWEVER, being that I had only been with women till 2 months before my current partner, I have views on this as well.

    * to me, an Alpha male can be gay/straight/bi...whatever.. but they are the guys that seem to always be the default, in charge, sure of themselves, type that people will follow or look to for safety or guidance. I know MANY gay guys that are TOTAL alpha males.

    * the stereotype of the "gay" male is WAY out of control. Some gay guys are very flamboyant and you know what...more power to them. That's just their personality and how they choose to express themselves. In those kinda groups you have an Alpha as well.

    In all situations you have people that seem to take charge or be the center/driving force of their groups and people outside of those groups will notice who's in charge. *so to speak* The same goes for females too.

    I think when someone classifies themselves as 100%, the factors usually..*note I said usually*... deal with pubic stigma, religion, and many times fear that their true feelings will be found out and made light of, or condemned. It's totally normal to look at someone of the same sex and find that person or aspects of that persons personality attractive. It doesn't mean you wanna hump the hell out of them. It's more of an appreciation of that person.

    One of my best friends said, "everyone has a bit of bi in them....if given the chance, without condemnation, ridicule or guilt, would at least try something with the same sex, even if to satisfy that curiosity that a majority of people have. " I believe that is true...but many will deny that. I find the % scale to be moot on this site. I get a lot of pvt messages from people that say 100% and some of the messages are quite sexual in nature. *I'd never name names...so no worries.* :) Also, from what I've learned over the past 13 yrs, that I've been messing around with guys, is that the most homophobic people are the ones with sexual identity issues and many, later in life, come out as gay or at least bi. *my best friend that I quoted was one of those guys*
     
  19. drumstyck

    drumstyck New Member

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    the simplest way i can put it is: i consider myself 100% straight, because i have 0 desire to interact sexually with another man. when i look at galleries on this site, i'm not aroused by the guys, i'm aroused by the girls (or at least the pictures of girls some guy claims to be :rolleyes:). if i look at a guy's gallery, it's just a comparison thing, curiousity to see how i compare with the rest of this site (as others have said).
     
  20. onewatcher

    onewatcher Active Member

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    I have heard this topic discussed several times on this site, however this is the first time I can remember,where everyone responded like adults. There was no name calling, no tempers flared. I am so proud to be a part of this site, where people can express what they are thinking about, and those that respond do it with kindness, sincerety and respect for the person leading the topic.
     
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