any advice

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_nnx03aco, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. D_nnx03aco

    D_nnx03aco Account Disabled

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    recently I told my family i was bi being a virgin and i thought this was the best thing to do but recently i seem to be more attracted to other guys i've dated girls but i have seem to have no attraction to them at all am i gay or is just a phase that will pass.Any advice will be greatly appriciated :confused:
     
  2. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    It would be impossible for anyone else to tell you "what you are" or how you feel. If you feel that you are attracted to guys this doesn't instantly make you gay, as you say yourself you have dated girls - I wouldn't think that this is just a phase, just go with that you feel is right and don't worry about how you are defined. :)
     
  3. conchis

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    you are 19, experiment.
    we will talk about your genre in 2019
     
  4. Joseph

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    took me a while to figure out who I am. I'm still not entirely sure.

    Sometimes I have moods for guys only and then I get confused again. Sexuality is a complex matter, very complex. Be true to yourself
     
  5. karldergrosse

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    Shy, just follow where your cock leads you--it has a head of its own (bad pun, I know). As Flame says, only you can know what you feel...but obviously you're not yet sure just what you feel. I will speculate--without guarantee. You say you've dated girls but "seem to be more attracted to other guys" and simultaneously "have no attraction to" girls. That seems to be one very solid clue to me. I personally don't believe in sexual-orientation "phase that will pass"--especially by your age. Most 'experts' now agree that a child's orientation is firmly fixed extremely early in life, long before he has any concept of sex. I knew I was interested in men exclusively from a very tender age (which I won't specify, to avoid being thought to be lying or losing my memory!)--possibly the result of being an oversexed Scorpio. Do you mean you actually are a virgin, or only told your family that? If you've not had sex with either gender, then you of course have no concrete experience to go by (but by no means am I recommending willy-nilly experimentation in this Age of the Plague). Here's one possible reality check, if you will allow your thoughts and feelings free rein, with no attempt to control or guide them: Which gender do you fantasize about, or focus on in porn, when you masturbate? Which gender gives you a hard-on when you think of seeing someone naked, or having sex with? Which gender lights your libido fire when you're lying there with dick in hand? There's always genuine bisexuality, of course, and many gradations along the scale (check LPSG's profiles), which can complicate the issue for you--but your stated inclinations would seem to me to rule it out. Having said that much, I'm not sure what further advice to offer you. I always remember my father's saying that his advice was free--and that might be just what it was worth. That may be the case here, too. But I hope my comments have at least helped you to focus more clearly on the basics of your dilemma, as a start to finding your way out of the woods. Be of good cheer--you'll have your answer when the time is right. (P.S. If you'd just like to "talk" to a sympathetic "listener," feel free to contact me.)
     
  6. shadow28

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    Be yourself. If you're on here, revel in it. If you're attracted to certain guys, it's OK.
     
  7. omghormones

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    We can't say whether it'll pass or not, but try not to worry about it? Just enjoy your feelings, and be happy with whoever you end up with. :)

    I'm sexually bi, but I don't know if I could ever be comfortable being in a deep and meaningful relationship with a woman. It took me a while to figure that out, and I felt a lot better as soon as I accepted it.
     
  8. SpeedoMike

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    some of us feel we come out twice; once to ourselves then to others.
     
  9. Smartalk

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    Hi there Shyboy,

    Don't make any rash decissions right now about your sexuallity. Does it really matter, if others know how you feel, or not, at this stage. From experience I say wait till you, feel comfortable in your own mind as to what your sexual feelings, desires, likings and preferrences are. At 19 you are still very young in terms of a lifetime and things can and will still change so much for you.

    Dont forget you have just come through or maybe still going through, one of the biggest changes you will ever under go in your life, outside of your mothers womb, that of boy to man, This vast life changing transformation, brought about by a huge hormonal surge, unleashed throughout your body. Not only does it change you physically, but mentally and emotionally too.

    I have have always said; that it is the toughest part in anyones life, to go through. All the stated changes, above, along with having to decided what you want to do or become career wise. In addition to this, all the social and domestic pressures that are laid to bare on your shoulders. Is it a wonder how we survive, but I suppose this is what helps mould our character.

    Although I have always considered myself to be bi, and that, I found hard to accept for many, sometimes agonising years. It took me up to the age of 50 to accept I am who I am, a gay man and to feel and be comfortable with that daunting fact. I was married for 21 years, yes my wife did know I was bi, my wife always thoght that her love would, change me, but that was never about to happen and never did. In fact I think it was that the made me realise more than anything. From that marrage, I have two wonderful grown up children, who love me dearly and support me in every way as I do them.

    Shyboy I can feel very comfortable telling you that, I am now living as the person I have always been insided. It has taken a lot for me, not ignore, reject and yes, hate that person buried and hidden deep inside of me, I was unable to accept and more importantly know and love myself. You, yourself, may be begining to realise or have already realised that you cannot give to anyone or share your undying love, until you can learn accept and love yourself.

    If you want to chat more or ask me things about my life in relation to yours send me a PM. Always happy to help others in any way you can.

    Shyboy be like a butterfly your transformation has given you the wings, Now learn to fly.

    Huge hug my friend, remember you are never ever alone, though it may seem that way at time

    Regards

    Smartalk xxx

    Remember with regards to sexuallity, there IS no black or white, but varying shades of grey in between.
     
    #9 Smartalk, Mar 14, 2009
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2009
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