Hi there Shyboy,
Don't make any rash decissions right now about your sexuallity. Does it really matter, if others know how you feel, or not, at this stage. From experience I say wait till you, feel comfortable in your own mind as to what your sexual feelings, desires, likings and preferrences are. At 19 you are still very young in terms of a lifetime and things can and will still change so much for you.
Dont forget you have just come through or maybe still going through, one of the biggest changes you will ever under go in your life, outside of your mothers womb, that of boy to man, This vast life changing transformation, brought about by a huge hormonal surge, unleashed throughout your body. Not only does it change you physically, but mentally and emotionally too.
I have have always said; that it is the toughest part in anyones life, to go through. All the stated changes, above, along with having to decided what you want to do or become career wise. In addition to this, all the social and domestic pressures that are laid to bare on your shoulders. Is it a wonder how we survive, but I suppose this is what helps mould our character.
Although I have always considered myself to be bi, and that, I found hard to accept for many, sometimes agonising years. It took me up to the age of 50 to accept I am who I am, a gay man and to feel and be comfortable with that daunting fact. I was married for 21 years, yes my wife did know I was bi, my wife always thoght that her love would, change me, but that was never about to happen and never did. In fact I think it was that the made me realise more than anything. From that marrage, I have two wonderful grown up children, who love me dearly and support me in every way as I do them.
Shyboy I can feel very comfortable telling you that, I am now living as the person I have always been insided. It has taken a lot for me, not ignore, reject and yes, hate that person buried and hidden deep inside of me, I was unable to accept and more importantly know and love myself. You, yourself, may be begining to realise or have already realised that you cannot give to anyone or share your undying love, until you can learn accept and love yourself.
If you want to chat more or ask me things about my life in relation to yours send me a PM. Always happy to help others in any way you can.
Shyboy be like a butterfly your transformation has given you the wings, Now learn to fly.
Huge hug my friend, remember you are never ever alone, though it may seem that way at time
Regards
Smartalk xxx
Remember with regards to sexuallity, there IS no black or white, but varying shades of grey in between.