bcmalone: This was years and years ago...My folks were at work, and I was having a jerk-fest in our living room, when the doorbell rang. I got up, packed the meat away, and answered it. It was UPS with a package. I signed for it, and started to close the door, The driver, who was a slightly chubby, but still cute chick said. "You didn't have to stop that for me.." I stammered, "Whhhhaaattt?" She said she was watching me, through the porch window, before she rang the bell. I looked, and sure enough, there was a crack in the draperies enough to see where I sitting. I felt the blood drain from my face, and said that "I was sorry, and a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do" and a bunch of other face-saving bullshit. She laughed, and said that it was cool, and that she kinda of dug it, and asked if I was going to finish after she left. I told her I could finish before she left if she wanted, and she said "OK!" but only if it would hurry up. I sat back down, whipped off the sweat pants, and jerked it like a fiend, sending a wad up into the air which landed in the candy dish my Mom had on the table. This was the hottest shit I had ever done in my life. I tried to put the moves on here, but she said that she had a boyfriend, and this was just a little spice in her workday. She left and although I saw her in the neighborhood from time to time, there never was a repeat performance. I actually sat down and rubbed off another one after she left!
But the big joke was yet to come (so to speak). Later that night, my folks had their friends over for cards, and I was watching the ballgame in the living room. One of their friends came in during a break to check the score, and bent down to grab some candy out of the candy bowl. I WAS SO JAZZED OVER THE INCIDENT, I FORGOT TO CLEAN UP!!! Without looking down He grabbed a piece that I had missed, and I scooped up all the goo-hit pieces and chowed down. I almost puked to know that I ate my own spunkie.