Apology

Discussion in 'New Member Introductions' started by Dr. Bubbles, Apr 25, 2005.

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  1. Dr. Bubbles

    Dr. Bubbles New Member

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    There comes a time when we all “fall” from grace, so to speak. Unfortunately, after deliberating with a decision that I made to post some pictures of myself (explicit pictures), I found myself struggling internally about my own ethical and moral responsibilities to myself and to those whom I engendered a respect from.

    My new avatars that have been posted have truly brought a lot of attention (positive and negative), and you all know I love attention! However, it was attention that I generally do not wish to bring to myself. I tend to be an old fashion type of girl when it comes to conservativism about appearance and dress, in many regards. Obviously, I had a lapse in judgment, especially when deciding to post those pics for the world to see. As many of you know, I do have high aspirations and those types of pictures could be daunting, especially if they ever came within the public eye and within public scrutiny.

    Don’t get me wrong; I do not regret taking the pictures, as it was a liberating experience for me. Yet, it was one that I would normally resist. I suppose temptation got the best of me. And, along with that temptation came desperation to “feel sexy,” “to feel pretty,” and “to feel desired.” Women like to be told they are all those things. I flirted with the issue and really pushed the envelope to garnish that attention I so desperately wanted – and I got it. But it was attention that was not true to my own persona or morality.

    I do not want people to see me as something I am not. I am not shallow, nor am I easy but I feel the pics I took possibly display an image of me that could lead many to believe those things. Moreover, now that I reflect and really look at the pictures, I see how they could be misconstrued as to serving the mentality and ideology of some that I am provocative, border line whoredom and not quite the woman they expected me to be.

    The American Heritage Dictionary defines morality as “the quality of being in accord with standards of right or good conduct; virtuous conduct.” I personally feel I stepped out of bounds when I decided to post those pictures. That was a decision that caused me to question myself and to have an internal conflict that I cannot resolve until I personally apologize to all those whom I’ve offended, to those whom I shocked or lost your respect and finally to myself.

    I suppose we all have to learn our own strengths and weaknesses and take responsibility for them accordingly. As such, I am. Again, please accept my sincerest apologies. It is my hope I can rebuild the relationship of trust and respect that I have come to appreciate from so many of you….

    Always,
    bb
     
    #1 Dr. Bubbles, Apr 25, 2005
  2. Pene_Negro_Grande

    Pene_Negro_Grande
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    Don't sweat it...From the words you written you express yourself very well...You come cross as a very respectful person and I sorry for the negative comments you got...Just proves that assholes do exist...Take care and thanks for being brave...
     
    #2 Pene_Negro_Grande, Apr 25, 2005
  3. steve319

    steve319
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    There's no need to apologize, Dr. B! :) It saddens me to think that you're wishing you hadn't posted the avatar pics at all.

    While I certainly understand your choice not to leave them up forever, particularly your concern about people using them to make hasty decisions about who you are and what your priorities are, I don't see any harm in throwing them up there for us for a fun lark. It was an act of embracing another aspect of your whole self--we all have a carefree, sexual side and should feed it from time to time. Beyond any salacious reaction, I (and I'm sure others) enjoyed the pics just because it was a freeing up of that part of yourself. And I applaud your doing so!

    While I'm sure you don't want people to judge you solely based on your appearance or what you wear, displaying that side of yourself for those who know you (or are beginning to know you) was probably healthy and empowering, not just to you but to others. Now, clearly, that moment has passed for you, and you're returning to the face that you choose to present to the world at large, and that's OK too.

    You don't wear the same outfit every day and for every situaion. As an educator, you dress professionally for that environment to convey the seriousness with which you take that role; when on a picnic, you dress more casually, and with friends (which we are here, I think), you might let your hair down even further, so I hope you don't feel guilty about having indulged that side of yourself for a few days. No one thinks less of you.

    And there's CERTAINLY no need to apologize! Everyone here understands your choice and supports your decision. :hug:
     
    #3 steve319, Apr 25, 2005
  4. Dr Rock

    Dr Rock
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    pffft. that's hardly anything to apologize for. just so long as your actions are governed by your own convictions and not those of anyone else. if you've learned something about yourself, that's good. if you've learned something about what other people expect of you, that's not.
     
    #4 Dr Rock, Apr 25, 2005
  5. blackwood

    blackwood New Member

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    Absolutely No Apology necessary.

    You remain a class act.

    b..........
     
    #5 blackwood, Apr 25, 2005
  6. willie

    willie New Member

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    An apology? Who criticised you? On what grounds?

    Just because you have brains, I don't think it prohibits you from having a spot of 'lively fun'.
     
    #6 willie, Apr 25, 2005
  7. Imported

    Imported
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    [/b] Nice to see someone so attractive inside and out. Sorry to hear that others did not like your one avatar. Personally, I found it to be quite tasteful. Beautiful smile, by the way.

    Nothing is more sexy to me than a dark haired woman.
     
    #7 Imported, Apr 25, 2005
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 16, 2010
  8. jay_too

    jay_too New Member

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    Dr. Bubbles....

    You realize that you just turned down the steam on the site.

    Nice pix, nice bod. What is to appologize for?

    jay
     
    #8 jay_too, Apr 25, 2005
  9. Knight

    Knight New Member

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    If you ever take your avatar down then please feel free to send me the pictures and I'll dispose of them properly...and a few thousand tissues lol.

    But really, they are very nice pics, and no one can tell its you, but I understand how your own values etc can clash with those pictures. Just know that no one can tell its you and be at ease :D

    If they were pics of whatever you have below the waist then that might be more of a problem, but still no one could tell it was you. Rest easy, Dr Bubbles :)
     
    #9 Knight, Apr 25, 2005
  10. Dr. Bubbles

    Dr. Bubbles New Member

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    Allow me to make a clarification.....

    Most of the people whom I chatted with were very positive. Matter of fact, I really did not receive any negative comments from anyone, other than people making some assumptions that I was not comfortable with. I do not want people to assume that I would be an easy lay, nor do I want them necessarily showing up on my front door steps thinking such. I have had those types of responses - even those request to cyber. Anyway, when I mention negative things, it was in that context.

    I removed the avatar because of personal reasons and questions about my own ethical standards. I have to make those for myself as each of us do. Again, I do not regret taking the pictures as they allowed me personal freedoms for expression and afforded me a different outlook on things that I would necessarily have limited myself. It was liberating to many degrees. Will I delete my pictures? No, as I like them. Will I publicly broadcast them again? I doubt it, unless I have a mental lapse again... which is probably unlikely.

    I do appreciate everything you gentlemen have stated. You are truly wonderful in all ways. Thank you for your kindness and your remarks. They are much appreciated.
     
    #10 Dr. Bubbles, Apr 25, 2005
  11. lapdog2001

    lapdog2001
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    I too, will say you have no reason to apologize for anything you did. I can understand and respect your reasons for taking the pictures, and can understand and respect your reasons for no longer publishing them to the internet. Don't feel you've done anything wrong or immoral, because you have not!

    As someone else has mentioned, that smile of yours is hot too! :D

    LapDog :9 :p :9
     
    #11 lapdog2001, Apr 25, 2005
  12. Freddie53

    Freddie53
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    Dr. Bubbles,

    You are a class act. I am proud of your working on the PH D. All is well. Hang in there.

    Freddie
     
    #12 Freddie53, Apr 25, 2005
  13. jeepwranglerboi

    jeepwranglerboi New Member

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    All I can say is Brava! Babe, you had to so what was best for you, so there is definitely no need to apologize but it takes a big person to do what you have done. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I support you whatever your decision is. We love ya regardless if we get to see that sezzy body or not. MWAH!!!!!!! :hug:
     
    #13 jeepwranglerboi, Apr 25, 2005
  14. yaoifun

    yaoifun New Member

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    Sweetie, there is no reason to be sorry, as everyone has said. There is no need to apoligize for feeling uncomfortable with something! You've worked so hard to get your PhD, the very LEAST you can do for yourself is make yourself feel comfortable around us! Exposed or not, your still super-sezzy! We love ya!
     
    #14 yaoifun, Apr 25, 2005
  15. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Dr. B, you are one in a million.

    You raise the level of the board's character just by being here.
     
    #15 Pecker, Apr 25, 2005
  16. madame_zora

    madame_zora
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    BB, you are a beautiful woman inside and out. We all must find our own little place in the world and if it did not feel good to you to be so exposed, then I'm glad you have the internal fortitude to know that. It was an experiment, you tried it and you didn't like it, but still I'd have to say good for you for trying. I would certainly think that the body of your posts should speak for themselves, anyone who would think you are an easy lay clearly has not read very much of your words. To be gifted with such intelligence, moral fibre, presistance, beauty and compassion is a true treasure, and you are such a treasure to us here.

    Despite the absolute perfection of your body shots, I would have to agree that it is your eyes and smile that are the most engaging. You have the deep, soulful eyes that I enjoy in a friend more than anything else, and in fact inspire trust. I think most of us see you as you really are, not as we would have you be. For those who misunderstood, they weren't your friends anyway. There will always be those who make assumptions based on their own desires, and that is their problem- you remain chaste in my eyes.
     
    #16 madame_zora, Apr 25, 2005
  17. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Doc Bubbles, you know you have our respect. We appreciate that you trust us enough to have shared your photos with us for awhile. You have our support in what you feel is right for you. You have a beautiful mind and a beautiful soul to go with that beautiful body and beautiful smile. No need to apologise; you're among family. :pals:
     
    #17 B_DoubleMeatWhopper, Apr 25, 2005
  18. Imported

    Imported
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    hung_big: BB...You know I love ya...so I am calling it like it is.

    First I must say this: An apology is not necessary to us, but only to yourself. If you feel that you betrayed your own persona and morality, then yes, perhaps an apology to YOURSELF is necessary. But please, do not change who you are due to scrutiny of others. Like Dr. Rock said, if it was your descision and you learned something about yourself, then kudos, but if it was because of a few negative comments, then don't appease those who are among the lowest of the low.

    For anyone to think you are a "whore" or are "easy" then they do not know you. If they begin to criticize you in the same breath they greet you, they are not worth your trouble. I talk to you personally, and I got to know you. When you put those pictures up, I thought it was a step forward and a liberating experience for you, nothing that would condone anybody calling you a "whore". If someone could ever bring themselves to call you that vulgar term or anything related, they do not know you.

    You are a beautiful woman, inside an out. Learn to embrace that, hun. You do not need to be ashamed of your body as you are not ashamed of your intelligence, wit and humour. It is something that you needed to work with and that other people have and do admire.

    To put it in simplest terms: What you did was not offencive. You are beautiful, intelligent and kind. If you are taking it down for yourself then do it, if you are doing it for others, I saw fuck 'em (had to say it).

    Two other things: You express yourself amazingly well, and you are drop-dead SEZZY!!!!

    Chris
     
    #18 Imported, Apr 25, 2005
  19. naughty

    naughty
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    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    DR.Bubbles,

    Please stop flagellating one of our favorite people! We might have to come and find you and take drastic measures! YOu are loveable and capable. Dont you know that we will love you whatever you chose to do with your pictures? Do you feel the love? You needed to feel feminine and affirmed . We want you to know that you are very special to us and that we want you to do what is best for you. I think you were very wise in doing what made you feel comfortable. I understand . I was reluctant myself to even put up the avatar that i have on board now. It is really sad that we can not just be without repurcussions from other's interpretations, but unfortunately that is not the world we live in and it is a small one. So on view or not, you are in our hearts. Can I get an amen, Guys? LOL!


    Naughty
     
    #19 naughty, Apr 25, 2005
  20. Freddie53

    Freddie53
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    Dr. Bubbkes,

    Chris did a beautiful job of telling it like it is. I only posted to affirm what he said. As one of the resident theologians and religion columnists, let me say that the word is appropriateness. Nothing you did here was inappropriate for this site.

    Now, you have to be true to yourself. Your pictures to relfect who you are on the inside. If you look at a pictrue and it doesn't reflect who YOU see yourself as then it is a picture you probably want to hide regardless of what you are wearing or not wearing as the case may be.

    You have a doctorate. You are intelligent. I think you are able to make those choices by yourself. I don't understand why anyone would question you anyway. What forum are we on? What kind of pictures do we have in the gallery? This is not a first grade classroom.

    But if after putting them up you feel uncomfortable, then yes take them down. But you don't owe an apology for it. If you feel comfrotable with them up, them leave them up.

    As I said to thine own self be true.

    I love your posts and I highly respect you.
     
    #20 Freddie53, Apr 25, 2005
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