Being Submissive

[B_smooth_7]

I'm a bottom and have been wanting to just give myself up to my top. Let him do with me what he wants but I'm afraid of surrendering. Does that make sense? I don't want to give up total control but I do. I guess it comes from wanting to remain safe - like I don't want him taking off the condom while I'm not paying attention, etc. And if it does go too far, can I still say no?

Any suggestions?

 

[canuck_pa]

I not submissive but I have friends that are either subs or doms. From what they've said the sub must trust the dom and sets the ground rules before they begin. The sub usually also has a safe word that the dom must respect.

I hope that helps although I'm sure a submissive person know better than I.

 

[AtomicMouse1950]

Yes it helps to discuss, what the two of you are about to do. Not only from the top's perspective, but importantly from the bottom's. You need to establish, what you will and won't do. Then you compromise between you. Everyone has a comfort zone. It doesn't hurt to discuss any type of fantasies too, you might have... or the Top might have.

 

[rbkwp]

Personally
i dont believe a person should ever give himself entirely to another
if that's what your suggesting ..
we are not someone elses sole property, and they should not expect or accept such, i am figuring


Moods, either way, always going to happen huh?

 

[B_smooth_7]

maybe I'm not saying it correctly. If I am, what does submissive mean? I just feel that I want to let the top do what he wants. I met a guy a while back who liked being rough; grab my hair as he fucked me, shove his cock in my mouth and fuck my mouth - and I let him. That was the first time I didn't resist. I enjoyed it and let it happen. I also trusted him and felt he wouldn't go somewhere that I would not want to go. Make sense?

 

[rbkwp]

sure makes sense to me
one off sessions, each case different
i was just thinking a ltr or a semi permanent relationship, i would not give myself totally to a person
hope my explanation makes sense


I don't want to give up total control but I do


you have submissive correct
i introduced totally submissive, so i apologize for that

 

[AtomicMouse1950]

maybe I'm not saying it correctly. If I am, what does submissive mean? I just feel that I want to let the top do what he wants. I met a guy a while back who liked being rough; grab my hair as he fucked me, shove his cock in my mouth and fuck my mouth - and I let him. That was the first time I didn't resist. I enjoyed it and let it happen. I also trusted him and felt he wouldn't go somewhere that I would not want to go. Make sense?

What you describe, Yes you are quite submissive.

 

[Big_Dick_Bottom]

You and the rest of us 20 billion bottoms... lol

 

[Bunny35]

You need to talk to your partner. There are always ground rules and limits, but if you dont discuss your likes, dislikes and limits you don't have a starting point. Once you get going you will both find things can progress...... Most important thing is you cant just give it up to anyone. There needs to be trust!

 

[AtomicMouse1950]

You need to talk to your partner. There are always ground rules and limits, but if you dont discuss your likes, dislikes and limits you don't have a starting point. Once you get going you will both find things can progress...... Most important thing is you cant just give it up to anyone. There needs to be trust!

The above I agree with. Unless you are in a gang bang, you have your own limits

 

[theplayerking]

Many couples into this kind of play have a secret sign—like a word or hand gesture—that means “stop.” Once you establish a panic button, you can go pretty far and still remain in ultimate control.

 

[B_smooth_7]

This just happened yesterday - I've been chatting with a guy on Grindr. 38 year old white guy, very handsome, great pictures, nice photos although two were in uniforms. I asked about them and he said they both happened to be for parties. Ok, I accepted that.

We planned on dinner last weekend but I cancelled because I hit a deer coming home from work that day. He was involved all week in some big project at work so we agreed to get in touch over this weekend.

I sent him a SMS asking what he was up to and he replied he was working on something for a presentation today but said come over. "you'll be glad you did" I said "oh? " He wrote back that he was going to bend me over his knee and spank me with a tight leather glove while he was in uniform. I wrote back "what? are you serious?" He said yeah. I then replied that I thought there was a compatibility issue and declined the offer to go over.

He then wrote and apologized for being too aggressive. I didn't reply.

Not that I'm vanilla but uniforms and spanking is just not me. I don't get off being spanked and the uniform thing, to me, is just funny.

How would you react to something like this?

 

[Blueshift]

The way you did. If something makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. It's very simple. As long as you're clear in your communication and both people understand what's going on, there shouldn't be problems.

Its up to you if you want to just let that guy know you're not comfortable going that far and maybe try something you *are* alright with. Being submissive (something I've thought about trying) requires a ton of trust and unless you feel 100% alright with it, is probably not a good idea.

 

[mjconaz]

The trick here is to only submit when/if your top turns you on. Let him figure out how to do this himself, it's way more fun that way.