Better than sex?

[gmenlt56]

Happy New Year!

I haven't measured myself recently enough to be sure (and have never measured my girth), but I'm probably 5 inches on a good day. Some guys compensate with big muscles or fancy cars, I compensate by being a funny, smart, all-around good guy who (I've been told) happens to be amazing with my hands and tongue. (Mostly) because of my size, I have some pretty bad performance anxiety when it comes to sex. Don't get me wrong, making a girl orgasm almost feels better than having one myself so I'll finger or go down on them until I'm blue in the face (no shortage of confidence when it comes to that :smile, but when it comes to sex, I am, for lack of a better word, scared. I'll even insist that she doesn't have to return the favor for the first few dates just to avoid dealing with my insecurity until I'm more comfortable with her (as unimpressive as I am hard, I am also very much a grower). My last girlfriend was very orgasmic and extremely appreciative (which was a huge turn-on), but while she was never unsatisfied, she did ask now and then why we never had sex. She fell for me pretty quickly and if I hadn't broken up with her, I don't think she would've ever broken up with me because of the lack of sex.

I realize there isn't one right answer here but I'm interested in hearing different perspectives. I guess the questions I'm getting at are:

1. In general, do you prefer sex to being fingered/eaten out?
2. Would you be content in a relationship if there was love, affection, the best orgasms you've ever had (again, quoting the ex) but no sex?

 

[tworites]

1- they are about equal, so no, there is no strong preference
2- no

 

[D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah]

1. In general, do you prefer sex to being fingered/eaten out?
2. Would you be content in a relationship if there was love, affection, the best orgasms you've ever had (again, quoting the ex) but no sex?

1) I don't get much enjoyment from being fingered, so being eaten is my absolutely my preference. But saying that i am not keen or receiving oral either. it's fine for a quick warm up, but that's it.

2) As already stated i am not a keen fan of oral, so sex in a relationship is a must for me.

 

[NotSoDumb_Blonde]

Okay, first I'll answer the questions.

1) No way, I like sex. Penetration although I love oral.
2) No I would not be content.

Now, on to some things I see on here over and over again. Size. Okay, yes, this is a large penis support group. I get that. I've learned since joining this what a huge issue this is for men and feel pretty bad that anyone worries over themselves enough to go through what you seem to be dealing with.

I've posted before about the best sex I've had being with a guy with a very small dick. He might have been five inches, but really, I was too enthralled with everything else about him to care. He was hard, I was in love, so there you go, I didn't pay attention to size. I would have cared though if he had refused penetration sex with me. I'm a giver and unless you don't enjoy the feel of penetration -- you didn't say -- then I would want my partner to have that.

To put this in perspective for you, if your fingers are big enough to give her an orgasm, why would you think your dick wouldn't be?

Also, my uh...well, toys aren't five freaking inches long! So, why do you think your dick needs to be seven, eight or ten inches to give pleasure?? I'd say don't worry about it, find someone and for one time only, let those feelings go and simply have sex and see what happens. What is the worst that could happen?

I used to worry about my body during sex. What I looked like, so on. I've always been thin, athletic so when I got a bit of a tummy I freaked and didn't want to have sex, but you know what? The man I was dating was like, what?? Told me I was nuts and we had the most mind blowing sex....whew. Very nice. So, the moral? Simply let it go for a bit and see if you can enjoy.

You didn't ask for advice, so sorry! But I thought I'd offer.

 

[Patchos]

Size matters!

 

[helgaleena]

I object to vaginal penetration being called 'sex' and every other form of sex being called something else. THEY ARE ALL SEX!!!!

Rant over.

1-- I have no preference for any means of achieving orgasm (which means ALL KINDS OF SEX)

2-- could not possibly be having orgasms if I were not having SEX --- however I'd be very happy only in a relationship with orgasms because they are good for you.

 

[_Jonesy]

I would start making efforts to get past your anxiety if I was you my friend; really try to grab your balls so to speak and go for it. If you are confident, you will have good sex regardless of your size and it sounds like you are perfectly big enough to make somebody happy.

It sounds like you have bought into the media in terms of how big a penis should be. Let it go, and have a good time.

 

[double_digit]

Size matters!

Spoken by someone with the biggest p33n0r you've seen. *hides in another corner of the forum now* ;>

I would start making efforts to get past your anxiety if I was you my friend; really try to grab your balls so to speak and go for it. If you are confident, you will have good sex regardless of your size and it sounds like you are perfectly big enough to make somebody happy.

It sounds like you have bought into the media in terms of how big a penis should be. Let it go, and have a good time.

By and large (pardon the pun) exactly my same sentiment. Drop your socks and grab yer cock and pay little mind to the small voice in the back of your head. :biggrin1: Chances are if you jump in and have fun? She will *too*. Nobody enjoys a tumble in bed amongst the unpacked luggage. ;D

 

[OlderGuy]

I would start making efforts to get past your anxiety if I was you my friend; really try to grab your balls so to speak and go for it. If you are confident, you will have good sex regardless of your size and it sounds like you are perfectly big enough to make somebody happy.

It sounds like you have bought into the media in terms of how big a penis should be. Let it go, and have a good time.

Exactly. You sound as though your mindset is right about making your skill set a point of pride. Add your penis to the mix. They want you - all of you.

Breaking up with women because you don't want to penetrate them with your penis is crazy. And for the record, your penis is at the low end of average. Go use it!

 

[rtg]

1. I like fingers to start the foreplay off with, then I love for a guy to use his tongue and mouth...though most of the time after a certain time of this, I just want his cock inside of me... haha
2. Definately could not have a relationship without sex, well 'making love' lol...it's a big part of a relationship and bringing yourselves closer together. It's the most physical way of showing someone how much you love them.

 

[gmenlt56]

First off, the advice and support are much appreciated. Feel free to keep driving the point home.

Second, even though I originally said otherwise, I should clarify that my performance anxiety has at least as much, if not more, to do with my lack of experience than my size. Granted there have been some size-related mishaps that I still have trouble getting past -- condoms not fitting/staying on, girls laughing at my flaccid size (which I attribute to them just not knowing about growers/showers but it doesn't make it sting any less), the aforementioned ex emailing her friends after the first time we hooked up to tell them how small I was. I guess the reply to that is that I just need thicker skin and to get out there and get some practice.

Individually:
billijean -- to be perfectly honest, I'm usually too nervous to enjoy it. As far as wanting my partner to have that feeling, it's an odd mix of anxiety and arrogance. Going back to the ex yet again since most of my experience was with her, her orgasms from my hands and tongue were so intense that I didn't think it could possibly be any better, regardless of my size. Regarding your comparison between my fingers and my penis, the issue is more one of versatility than size which will probably (hopefully) resolve itself as I get more experience.

OlderGuy -- A bit off topic, but that wasn't the reason I broke up with her. Of course that would be crazy.

Thanks again for the positive reinforcement. Here's to a year of great sex!

 

[double_digit]

Thanks again for the positive reinforcement. Here's to a year of great sex!

Can I get that paid out in a lump sum? ;D

 

[B_subgirrl]

I would leave a guy if there was no sex.

A penis the size of yours (the OP) is more than big enough to contribute to plenty of orgasms. Why take it out of the equation?

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

Happy New Year!

I haven't measured myself recently enough to be sure (and have never measured my girth), but I'm probably 5 inches on a good day. Some guys compensate with big muscles or fancy cars, I compensate by being a funny, smart, all-around good guy who (I've been told) happens to be amazing with my hands and tongue. (Mostly) because of my size, I have some pretty bad performance anxiety when it comes to sex. Don't get me wrong, making a girl orgasm almost feels better than having one myself so I'll finger or go down on them until I'm blue in the face (no shortage of confidence when it comes to that :smile, but when it comes to sex, I am, for lack of a better word, scared. I'll even insist that she doesn't have to return the favor for the first few dates just to avoid dealing with my insecurity until I'm more comfortable with her (as unimpressive as I am hard, I am also very much a grower). My last girlfriend was very orgasmic and extremely appreciative (which was a huge turn-on), but while she was never unsatisfied, she did ask now and then why we never had sex. She fell for me pretty quickly and if I hadn't broken up with her, I don't think she would've ever broken up with me because of the lack of sex.

I realize there isn't one right answer here but I'm interested in hearing different perspectives. I guess the questions I'm getting at are:

1. In general, do you prefer sex to being fingered/eaten out?
2. Would you be content in a relationship if there was love, affection, the best orgasms you've ever had (again, quoting the ex) but no sex?

No. Primarily because I would not want my partner to deny sex based in shame or fear. If we are intimate, my lover should be able to leave all that shit at the door when we're together, or learn to release it as we build trust together.

*snip* Granted there have been some size-related mishaps that I still have trouble getting past -- condoms not fitting/staying on

Kimono condoms. The Micro-thin and Fe/Male aloe should fit you nicely, and I speak from experience with a partner roughly your size.

 

[693987]

I realize there isn't one right answer here but I'm interested in hearing different perspectives. I guess the questions I'm getting at are:

1. In general, do you prefer sex to being fingered/eaten out?
2. Would you be content in a relationship if there was love, affection, the best orgasms you've ever had (again, quoting the ex) but no sex?

1. I prefer -good- intercourse to being fingered/eaten out. I still consider the latter two sexual acts still

2. Nope.

 

[pcghabsy]

Don't buy into internet inches, you shouldn't be concerned about your penis size at all - it is more than adequate for almost all women out in the real world.

 

[B_Nkam]

A penis the size of yours (the OP) is more than big enough to contribute to plenty of orgasms. Why take it out of the equation?

Because most women are size-queens. The vast majority of women prefer 7-8 inches or more.
Very very few women in this world can honestly say that they prefer 5 inches or smaller.

 

[693987]

Because most women are size-queens. The vast majority of women prefer 7-8 inches or more.
Very very few women in this world can honestly say that they prefer 5 inches or smaller.

Uh, aside from this particular website and all that (and even taking ladies on LPSG into account) most women do NOT prefer 7-8 inch or longer penis.

In any case, that's entirely separate from saying I want a smaller than 5" long cock (which I would really rather not, it's true).

 

[redz_rule]

Because most women are size-queens. The vast majority of women prefer 7-8 inches or more.
Very very few women in this world can honestly say that they prefer 5 inches or smaller.

'First' contribution to the site was to bump this Women's Issues thread with a contentious post? Curious.

 

[B_Nkam]

Uh, aside from this particular website and all that (and even taking ladies on LPSG into account) most women do NOT prefer 7-8 inch or longer penis.

Yeah right