BMOC Chapter 48
News of Jay's "recovery" drew everyone to his bedside during those first days. When they learned he remembered very little of the past two years, most didn't care. The important thing, especially to those who loved him most, was Jay. His mother never let go of his hand once she saw her son and his father, the rugged man's man he proclaimed to be, bawled like a baby when he saw his boy conscious again. They just couldn't believe it. They had been led to believe that Jay might never come out of his coma. His parents immediately wanted to take him back home to St. Louis, but Jay bristled at the idea, especially since Eppi offered him the spare bedroom in her new apartment. He felt that he couldn't recover his memories anywhere but in Champaign, where he'd lost them. His parents didn't like the idea of him living with a young woman and although they didn't voice it, they also felt hurt that their son chose to recover under the care of someone he didn't even remember. Jay had not lost his headstrong determination; once he made up his mind, he could not be stopped. And so, throughout that summer, he and Eppi shared living space as well as time together.
Everyone assumed that the coma stole only the past two years of Jay's memory, but they soon learned that it affected him in other ways. To aid in his recovery process, Jay saw a neuro-psychologist, an occupational therapist and a physical therapist. He soon tired of the constant visits to the doctors' offices and in his frustration, refused to see the specialists one week. Eppi, Dre and other friends made a photo album with pictures taken during the past two years and per the occupational therapists suggestion, they tried to spend time discussing the who, what, when and where of each picture to help fill in Jay's lost memories. For Jay, the pictures served as evidence of a disability. No matter how much prompting he got, every time someone told a story and followed it with, "don't you remember," he didn't. After a few weeks of this, he asked them to put the album away - forever.
Sleep became problematic for him. On the rare nights that he actually drifted under, some strange images came to him, images he tried to suppress and deny as reality, but knew them to be true. Most of them revolved around Bruce. The two of them together. He recalled his confusion - and denial - of his longings for his boy but how ultimately, he gave into his desires. He couldn't rationalize what he did with Bruce, and now that his best friend was dead, he couldn't talk to him about it. He didn't even consider sharing it with any of the doctors. Dre noticed how moody and withdrawn his brother seemed since he'd been told about Bruce's death and his accident. He asked Jay if he wanted to talk about it.
"Not much to say," Jay said.
"You and Bruce were tight, D. Like brothers. Gotta be something to say," Dre replied.
"Yeah, well if I had something to say I'd say it to Bruce but his ass is dead, ain't he?" Jay got off the couch and paced. Dre was shocked by his brother's outburst and it showed on his face. When Jay looked at his younger brother, a wave of panic washed over him. The way Dre stared at him triggered a memory. It was his bedroom . Dre . and Bruce . and a sense of anger came to him like puzzle pieces, demanding his memory to construct the complete picture. It was too much for him. He groaned and hung his head, closing his eyes to the demanding memory.
"Jay? Hey, man you alright?" Dre came to his brother's side.
If Jay heard Dre, he gave no indication. He shook his head in an attempt to ward off the returning memory, but his effort was useless. Within minutes, the scene played out in his conscious like the trailer for an upcoming movie, highlighting all the action and the main events. He remembered the smug set of Bruce's jaw and how he groped his crotch proudly. And Dre, his shirt streaked and wet, smelling like a patch of grass, looked as afraid as a dog with his tail between his legs. Jay could not deny it. Bruce had gotten Dre, too. He stared at his brother but didn't know what to say. "I . I need to pick up a prescription at health service," he said suddenly.
"Jay, I don't think you should -"
"Fuck what you think!" Jay yelled. He took a deep breath. "Look, I just need to be alone right now, okay? Could you tell Eppi where I'm at if she comes home?"
Dre, too stunned by his brother's outburst and sudden attitude change, didn't object further or try to stop Jay from leaving. Even before the accident, he knew his bro to be volatile, particularly when it came to the things that made him uncomfortable: emotions, communication, sexuality. He couldn't help but wonder if Jay was remembering something relatable from the past two years. He wondered, too, how he could help his brother cope. They never arrived at a place where they could discuss their sexuality openly and Dre didn't think it'd be any easier this time around. Their father had marked his sons in such a way that Dre doubted he'd ever be able to freely talk about sexuality with his brother. He longed for the type of open communication he shared with his older brother Omar, but he and Jay's never connected that way.
Trying to focus on more positive thoughts, Dre called Maleek on his cell phone. "What you doing?" Dre asked, his voice deep, low and suggestive.
Maleek, who was exhausted from pleasing both a client and Dre the night before, still lie in his bed. He wasn't fully awake. "Nothing. What about you?"
"Just thinking about you." Dre twirled the phone cord around his fingers. "We burned last night, baby. Think we can do it again tonight?"
"No doubt. Gimme a time."
"Time?" Dre asked. "What are you talking about?"
Maleek, drifting in and out of sleep as he talked on the phone, decided to put an end to the call. "Call me back when you got a time and a place," Maleek said before hanging up the phone. In his tiredness, he didn't bother placing the phone back on the hook.
Dre continued to talk into the phone, asking what Maleek was talking about. Then he heard the dial tone. He hung up and called back. The line, of course, was busy. What the hell was that all about? He wondered.
* * * * *
Leon curled the 50-pound barbell in his right hand, admiring the pulsating veins and muscles in his forearm. He spread his legs. Licked away tiny beads of sweat on his top lip. As he continued to perform curls, he felt a familiar heaviness in his bikini briefs. His dick hardened, sliding along his hairless, hard thigh until the head nearly poked out of his gym shorts. He interrupted his workout to stare at his erection. Then he looked directly across the room and into the eyes of tonight's inspiration: a chocolate drop brotha with average looks but an off-the-charts ass displayed to full effect in biker shorts so tight, they appeared two sizes too small. The brotha spent the past hour on his stomach, working out his calves. Leon was no fool - the brotha was advertising his juicy double bubble and Leon was definitely interested.
Business was steady as always. The past week, Leon saw an average of two clients each day. That evening was one of his self-scheduled "off days." He never hurt for cash or companionship, regardless of whether he was on or off the clock, but even he was no Energizer bunny. His off-days were a time to relax, tone up the body and treat it as the temple he knew it to be. The brotha across the gym was severely testing his abstinence.
Leon watched as his temptation stood up, mopped sweat from his forehead, slung the towel around his neck and briefly looked in his direction. A sly grin on his lips, he looked away so quickly, Leon realized he was trying to act coy. Leon shook his head. He returned to his curls, thinking that if he was going to have to do all the work, even an ass like that wasn't worth it.
"Excuse me." The voice flowed over his right shoulder.
He looked up. The face from across the room was now close enough to see in detail. Not bad, Leon thought, but nothing to get excited about. His eyes instantly drifted to the artwork hanging off the brotha's back. "Wassup?"
"Aren't you Deon Brown?"
Leon chuckled. He had to give the brotha courage for coming over, but that was as weak a line as he'd ever heard. He resumed his curls. "No," he replied simply.
The brotha seemed at a loss. He turned to walk away. Feeling generous and quite aroused by the sight of the brotha's bubble booty, Leon spoke to his retreating back. "Yo, what's your name?"
"Donny. Donny McClean," he said.
"Give me a minute. I'll walk you out," Leon said.
* * * * *
The pharmacy sat directly across from Student Health Services and like most university-run pharmacies, prescriptions were filled for a very small fee - in Jay's case, $15 for three. He hated taking the pills, hated what they represented: his accident, his memory loss, his "illness." But he needed an excuse to leave Dre. On his walk over, the memory continued to replay itself in his conscious. It hit him like a sucker punch in the stomach to think that his ace, his boy Bruce and his baby brother had messed around. He'd struggled with thoughts of Bruce and himself, but Bruce and Dre? If the rest of the memories of the last two years held these kinds of secrets, he'd be content staying in the dark.
There was something else. He dreamed of a face that he did not remember, but the feelings of nervousness and anticipation that the face created was very familiar - it was lust, a heavy jones. Trouble was, the face belonged to a dude. Jay struggled with that thought, let it weigh so heavily on his mind that he wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings and almost knocked down someone as he exited the pharmacy. "Oh, my bad," he said. "You okay?"
"Jay?"
He stared at the face of another beautiful sista he didn't remember. "Yeah," he said.
"It's me, Cherron," she said.
He smiled weakly, but didn't indicate any recognition of her name.
She hugged him anyway, but he made sure not to press her too close - her belly protruded just enough to give away her condition. "It's good to see you out of the coma," she said. "I only wish Bruce was here to see you."
He perked up at the mention of Bruce's name. "You knew Bruce." It was a statement, not a question.
Cherron chuckled. "Of course I knew Bruce." She rubbed her stomach. The reality of Cherron's situation dawned on Jay. He stared at her belly, mouth agape. "It's a baby, not fat." She laughed.
"Bruce's baby," he said.
Cherron nodded. "He didn't know. I found out too late." She half-smiled. "I didn't want to have it at first, you know? Raising a kid alone was not in the plan. But then I talked to Mrs. McLemore. Really talked to her. The first thing she asked me was, 'Did you and my son conceive this child in love?' I couldn't lie. I loved me some Bruce, you know. And he wasn't perfect but he loved me, too, in his way. So I told her yes. This baby was made through love. Once I realized that - I mean, really gave it thought - there was no choice to be made," Cherron said.
Jay listened to Cherron talking, but he didn't hear the words. He was thinking about Bruce, about the kinds of girls he used to like. Cherron was definitely his boy's type - light, bright and beauty queen beautiful. But this girl, unlike many of her predecessors, seemed to have true personality, irrespective of her beauty. He couldn't explain it, but he immediately felt protective of her. He smiled at her. She smiled, too. "Are you hungry?" he asked.
"Hungry?"
"Well, I was about to get some eats," he said. "If you weren't busy, I thought you might like to come with me. My treat."
"As long as its not Burger King," she said.
"Bruce's favorite," Jay said, lost in thought.
"Don't I know it. But this baby is not having that."
"The kid's got taste, then."
"He got it from me," Cherron said with a laugh.
The sound of her laugh made Jay smile from inside out. He continued smiling as he watched Cherron walk up to the pharmacy tech to retrieve her prescription. So Bruce will live on, he thought with a smile.